Bound To You
by kylorxn
Summary: Star Wars AU: Rey is a girl with dreams of Broadway, but is also an introvert. Ben is a pianist who was used to being alone. The two meet by the grace of circumstance and effect each other's lives in astronomical ways. Slow build to M. Fluffy af
1. Prologue

_Rey is a girl in high school with social problems. She is only one of many who have the same issues. She has one friend, named Finn, who she has known since she was a child. Still, she has dreams like everyone else. Her dreams are to grace the stage in a Broadway musical. But to get there, she would have to audition and talk to people. She has a goal to audition for her high school's play, West Side Story._

 _Ben is a boy in college, who has enjoyed solitude ever since he was young. His mother encouraged him to learn how to play the piano. Little did she know how her son would soar. He was brilliant and loved playing more than anything in the world. As he grew, however, his father pushed him to pursue a more secular career. Though he felt he abandoned his dreams, music was still alive inside him._

 _The two probably would have never met if it wasn't for a fateful day of library detention. Two people who are not equipped to carry healthy conversations, find themselves at ease with one another. And with that ease, love can blossom._

 **Important information about this story!**

 **Leia and Luke are NOT related in this alternate universe!**

 **I wrote the story with Rey having a different father, and I just didn't like it. I wanted to incorporate as many characters into this as possible. And having Luke as just an uncle wasn't good enough for me. So the two are not related in anyway for this fan-fiction.**

 **ALSO- This fanfiction is rated M, but I will provide a** **separate edited story that is the clean version.**

 **I've written a lot of chapters so far, and will be posting chapters EVERY Monday to the best of my ability! I'm super, super excited about this story! And I should say, it is inspired by La La Land, an incredible movie for everyone who loves old musicals!**

 **But I am too impatient and I will post my first chapter tomorrow. Hope you all like it!**

 **p.s. This story is also on Wattpad**

 **My username is undefined_thirst**

So without any other nonsense, here is the **PROLOGUE!**

_

 **You still look like a movie, you still sound like a song.**

 _Damn this dress is tight._

It was the only thing running through Rey's mind as she escaped to the bathroom. When she was finally safe within the maroon walls, she took a deep breath. She walked towards the sink and looked into her own eyes staring back at her in the mirror. The maroon Versace dress laced down her arms and body. It was one of her favorite dresses but she could barely breathe in it. Her eyes looked tired, exhausted even.

She was uncomfortable seeing her old classmates. She shouldn't be, it wasn't like she was close to any of them. She should be proud for them all to see how far she has come, how hard she has worked.

She was surrounded by fake people every day. It was a part of her job. She was hoping that the antisocial eighteen year old girl was buried away, never to resurface again. She was a grown woman now, she wished she could for once act like nothing bothered her.

She turned the cold water on and held her wrists beneath it. She closed her eyes and hoped it would calm her nerves. She calculated how long she had to stay at the party. She arrived an hour ago. Surely she could leave in another half hour. Thirty minutes. Then she could be home and safe in her pajamas. She would put on an old movie and curl up on her couch.

The sound of a piano flooded beneath the bathroom door. Finn hired a pianist for the night, he must have returned from his break. She shut the water off and dried her hands on the expensive cloths beside her. As she dried her hands, she realized that the music was something different that what had been playing before.

It was familiar.

Her entire body ran cold as she realized the song wasn't just familiar. She knew the notes, memorized it and played it in her head for years.

She thought of hiding in the bathroom, but she could never forgive herself if she didn't look. Without thinking, she exited the bathroom and walked into the large ballroom. Her eyes found the piano, which was situation exactly in the middle of the large hall. She stopped dead in her tracks, invisible hands wrapping around her neck.

He was late.

She wished she wasn't so shaken from hearing those familiar notes. Her stomach was twisting and turning with anxiety. For a moment, she thought she might throw up the three glasses of wine she drank.

Of course he would play it, the temptation was too great for him. In a flash, her mind traveled to two kids going to the drive-in. Millions of memories flooded her, making her legs turn to mud.

In that moment, she was Ilsa Lund and he was Rick Blaine from Casablanca. Except he was the one walking into Rey's jin joint. He was the one playing a song that only hurt and broke them both.

She couldn't understand why he was even at the party. He didn't go to high school with her. When she met him, he was in his first year of college. Did Finn invite him? If so, why would he come?

As if he heard her thoughts, he looked up from the keys and directly in her eyes. It hurt. It hurt so much, for a second Rey feared she might faint. As dramatic as the expression is, she felt like an earthquake was erupting inside her.

His hands danced on the keys, with experience and passion. She knew that would never change. His hair was longer than when they were kids. Half of it was tied back, the color still as black as a raven. His strong nose and full lips were all the same. He had taken off his suit jacket, which laid beside him on the bench he was sitting on, and only had on a white dress shirt. The sleeves were rolled to his elbows like he always did when he played.

She could only see him as he was so many years ago. Her eyes stung and she fought the tears with every fiber of her being. Half of her just wanted to leave. But what would that accomplish? He already had his dark eyes on her, trapping her like they always did. She was a woman now, not the same girl she was before.

So her feet remained planted to the floor, and she stood as tall as she could. Still, like so many years ago, she never wanted the song to end. She wanted him to play forever and forget time existed.

The song continued and every note tugged at her heart strings. She used to listen to him play for hours. They talked about their passions, about their futures together.

It was like a movie, the two of them. Just like a song.

It took her back to when they were young. When life was full of hope and love. A part of her was still holding on to him, even after all the time that passed. She still cared, of course she did. Does he?

 **Okay! That was the prologue!**

 **I am beyond excited about this story and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

 **Comment and thoughts are greatly appreciated! Expect the first chapter tomorrow!**

 _ **-O**_


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Detention

" _When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."_ -William Shakespeare

* * *

 **8 years ago**

"I felt, I knew something never before was going to happen, had to happen. But... this is so much more." Finn whispered, looking intently into Rey's eyes.

She looked down at her hands, "My hands are cold."

He took them in his own hands, holding them tight.

Rey smiled, "Yours too."

He moved her delicate fingers to his smooth face, never looking away from her eyes.

Her eyes softened, her fingers grazing his lip, "So warm."

She then touched his hands and brought them to her own face, to show him that her face was warm too. Flushed with their close proximity. He looked down at her lips briefly, "So beautiful."

Rey chuckled softly, "Beautiful."

Suddenly Rey pulled away with a big smile. She held out her hands, "What did you think?"

Finn's smile was filled with pride. He stood and put his hands on his hips, "It's brilliant."

"Really?" she asked.

He nodded, "Of course it is! You're going to get that part. And if you don't, I mean, it's only a school play. It's not like any of these people are professional like you."

"I know, I know. I still want to give it my all," she twirled, "West Side Story will be the start, I just know it."

He chuckled, "I can't wait to see you on Broadway."

"And that you will!" She exclaimed, pretending to tap dance.

Her phone ringing is what brought her back to reality. She grabbed it and shut off her alarm. Cursing, she ran towards the door.

"I'm late! Sorry! Thank you for helping me! I'll see you tonight!" she yelled as she ran out of the auditorium doors.

Mr. Rory was not going to take it this time. She could only imagine what he was going to say to her. She would probably get a detention. Her sneakers skidded across the floor but she finally made it. She swung her homeroom door open and the entire class looked over at her.

Her face grew hot and she could only imagine what a deep shade of red she was. Walking in late was her worst nightmare because people noticed her and that attention was very unwelcome.

Mr. Rory peeked from behind his thick glasses and released a deeply irritated sigh.

"Sorry, Mr. Rory, I missed my bus," she lied, trying to regain her breath.

"This is the third time this week," he grumbled, "Detention today."

The class let out an 'Oohhh' noise and Rey sat at her desk in defeat, waiting for Mr. Rory to give her the yellow slip.

When he did, he narrowed his eyes at her, "If this happens again, there is going to be trouble."

She didn't answer. She just took the slip and swallowed her pride.

When the bell rang, she practically ran out of the classroom. Her next class was PE which no one was ever excited about, but she would jump off a cliff to get out of Mr. Rory's class.

There wasn't really a popular crowd in her school, like there usually is on TV. There are kids she hears more about but no Pink Ladies and T Birds.

No one ever really paid her too much attention, much to her satisfaction. She was not one to socialize. Her father sent her to therapists and doctors, and they called it 'social anxiety'. It made sense. Whenever Rey was forced to talk to people, she always tried to cut conversations short. Strangers had a way of making her feel like they were choking her with polite conversation.

Finn was her only friend, and that's mostly because they grew up together. He lived a couple houses down from her and they were in the same kindergarten class. It was the only reason he understood why she was the way she was.

What he didn't understand, is why an introvert with social anxiety wanted to be a Broadway star.

Rey knew she had problems, but she loved music ever since she was a child. It was her escape. Her second favorite thing was musicals. Her parents took her to see 'Phantom of the Opera' when she was ten. It was real-life magic, how they could sing to one another and make people feel the way they felt. Ever since then, her entire life became a musical. She lived, breathed and ate musical scores. She would write her own ones, perform the ones she knew by heart. The most magical part was that when she was singing and performing, she didn't feel awkward anymore. She actually felt confident.

After high school, half of her wants to move to New York City and try to start her career. The other half of her is terrified of even the thought of living in a city with so many people. She had a year to think it all through. Her big challenge was the high school play. Seniors always got first auditions. She was too chicken to audition last year, so this year was her last chance.

When detention rolled around for Rey, she dragged her feet into Mr. Rory's classroom. He was sitting at the desk but looking at his phone.

"At your service, sir," she curtsied.

When the teacher finally looked up at her, he seemed a bit nervous, "Something has come up. You will serve your detention in the library. Mrs. Solo will be watching you. And if you give her way trouble, I will know."

Rey hid her excitement well. She rolled her eyes in fake frustration, nodded and left the classroom. The library was one of her favorite place in the school. Mostly because kids avoided it like the plague and also because anything that helped her escape reality was something that fascinated Rey. So naturally, she loved reading.

When she walked into the library, Mrs. Solo was reading a magazine. Instead of the celebrity trash she was reading a magazine that had the words 'WORLD WAR II HISTORY RETOLD'. She was an older woman, who always had her hair pulled back in braids. Rey had always liked her and thought she was pretty cool.

When Rey stepped in front of her, Mrs. Solo looked up at her.

"Catching up on your reading?" the elder woman asked, smiling fondly.

Rey handed her the yellow slip, "Just serving my time."

Mrs. Solo chuckled, and with one hand motioned to the tabled, "I'm sure you're very frightened of your sentence."

Rey smiled and with a curtsy, she made her way towards the tables. She picked one in the corner and put her bag down. There was only a few in the library. It was a couple regulars, kids who studied for tests and others who ate their lunch in a corner.

She walked toward the fiction aisle and took a deep breath. She took in the smells and the feeling one gets before walking down a book aisle. She took her time, looking at each book with great curiosity. She opened one book and the smell of its dusty pages was like magic to her.

She turned to walk down another aisle but saw a man sitting on the floor. His long legs were sprawled out, his eyes completely focused on his book. He had raven black hair covered the tips of his ears. He had a strong nose and plump, pink lips. But that wasn't what fascinated Rey.

It was the look in the boy's eyes. He was so enthralled with the world inside that book, he didn't notice her we all. She knew what he felt like, and never saw someone in such a state. Surely the world around him didn't exist at all.

She couldn't really see what he was reading from where she was. On the floor was a book called, 'The Great Pianist'. Her eyes still looked at the man's expression. He didn't even realize she was staring; he was so enthralled with his book.

She bit her lip, wanting to take a picture of him. Surely he wouldn't notice. It would be such a grand picture, very poetic.

She took her phone out turned on her camera. Foolishly, she forgot to turn her sound off and her phone shuttered when she took the picture. The boy looked up immediately, dark brown eyes burning into hers.

She was so embarrassed; she wanted to die right then and there. Surely someone breaking every bone in her body would be a walk in the park compared to the way the handsome man looked at her. She gulped and tried to pull herself together, "Sorry. I hope you don't mind. You... you're expression was lovely."

His eyebrows furrowed a bit, "Oh. I see."

His voice was deep. And he seemed to grow awkward and uncomfortable with each interaction. The fact that he seemed more uneasy than she did, shocked her. She was always the one to run away scared. She took advantage of her unusual bravery.

"I'm Rey."

"Ben." He stared at her.

Something was very different about the boy in front of her. As he stated, he seemed to be searching for something. Understanding? A good way to tell her to fuck off?

"What are you reading?" she asked, fighting through the choking feeling she usually felt when talking to strangers. Her curiosity was making it a little easier.

He held the book out to her. She grabbed it and looked at the cover.

She smirked, "'The Devil's Elixirs'? A Gothic novel, I wouldn't have guessed that."

"Really?" he asked, taking the book back from her.

"It makes me sound like a jerk, but I expected a Star Wars book."

He then lifted a book hidden beside him. It was indeed, a Star Wars book.

Rey laughed, "Fantastic."

She then realized she was actually talking to someone who wasn't Finn. The choking feeling returned with a vengeance so she had to stop the conversation, though she didn't want to.

"I'll let you get back to your reading. Or if you want company, I'm at the table in the back."

He nodded. Rey walked away, feeling accomplished for talking to such an interesting person. It was so unlike her that she thought maybe getting ready for West Side Story was helping her social problems.

She wandered down the aisle and found a couple interesting titles. She grabbed one she's read many times, 'Pride Prejudice'. Then she grabbed a couple cool looking sci-fi books. She loved the protagonist in Jane Austen's novel because she was sure she'd be like Elizabeth in that century.

She sat at her table and peeked through some of the new ones. She found herself looking from the black and white often, thinking that Ben would sit across from her. She didn't expect him too, he seemed to not like talking with her. She didn't know what she would say if he even did. She'd probably choke on her own spit or something.

She decided the start reading 'Pride Prejudice' so she could focus on something familiar. She got past Elizabeth's infuriating mother talking about marrying her girls off when her eyes looked across the table.

Midnight colored hair struck her, almost making her smile. He was looking down at his book, sitting awkwardly across from her. What an odd person. But what was she talking about? She was odd too. Maybe that's why it was easy to be forward with him. He seemed just as uncomfortable as she did.

He seemed to hear her thoughts. Dark brown eyes looked into her equally dark ones. His gaze fell down to her book and looked back at her curiously.

She blushed, "I'm a sucker for Jane Austen."

His lips pulled into a half smile, "I expected something else."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows with curiosity, "What did you expect?"

He cleared his throat, "I don't know I guess, I... or I don't know, something like Ulysses or Finnegan's Wake or some other James Joyce shit that only certain people understand."

She was flattered and didn't feel like she was choking yet, "I have read Finnegan's Wake. And I have no idea what it is about."

He chuckled, dark and deep, "Well... um, why Pride and Prejudice?"

Rey took a deep breath and looked down at her book, "I guess it's because... well Jane Austen speaks like a strong willed person in a time when women had little to no rights. It reflects in her characters. Elizabeth has no interest in marriage and tries to avoid it. In that time, though, that was all a woman had. I think she would have been perfectly content an old maid. If she was going to marry, she was going to do it for love. I just... I dont know, I really admire her."

He was looking at Rey intently as she spoke about a book she so adored. When Rey noticed, she blushed slightly. She could still breathe, even with all the attention from him but it did make her heart beat rapidly.

"Sorry," she let out a nervous laugh, "I didn't mean to ramble."

"No," He replied, still examining her closely, "its... refreshing."

"What is your favorite book?"

He looked down at his book, thinking, "It's a difficult question to answer."

She watched him, his body language appearing to apologize for something she didn't understand. His length? He was pretty tall and looked a little uncomfortable in the small library chair. It was like he wore his body like clothes that were too big and he was trying to make up for it by making himself appear smaller and not so large. His inability to answer made her think he had never been asked such a personal question.

"I guess, if I had to choose, it would be Frankenstein by-"

"Mary Shelley," Rey finished, smiling. She knew the story well, "I've read that a couple times. Why is it your favorite?"

He answered with his eyes firmly on the library's wooden table, "I guess, because Shelley shows that maybe with some technological advances, a man losses his freedom and becomes a slave to them. Victor lost himself when he became so obsessed with bringing the dead back to life. And because of that, science took away his humanity. The author showed that there are things men are not meant to discover."

Rey watched at the awkward kid stuttered his way into a confident one. The more he spoke, the more comfortable he looked. When he finished his statement, he quickly coiled back into his discomfort. She understood it was because of the attention he drew to himself, "That was beautiful. Thank you."

He looked at her, confused.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I really enjoy when people talk about their passions, or their interests. It shows a bit of their soul, I guess. You're pretty smart, huh?"

His face and ears turned red. He shrugged his thanks and quickly went back to his book. Rey was satisfied with their talk. She couldn't remember having such an enriching conversation. And the fact that she finished such an enriching conversation without wanting to die made her think Ben was special.

She wanted to be his friend.

She hadn't felt such a strong feeling in a long time. She didn't think for a moment that maybe he wasn't interested in being friends. Perhaps he'd be content never speaking to her again. But she never met someone she was comfortable speaking to. She thought she would be stupid to let the opportunity go.

"Do you want to be friends?" she asked, making herself blush. She wished she worded it better, perhaps in a more laid-back way.

He looked up from his book, eyes wide and cheeks red again. He was utterly shocked.

"I don't mean to be so tactless and strange but-"

"No," he blurted out. His cheeks grew a deeper red. His outburst embarrassed him but delighted her, "Um, I mean... I don't mind. If you want to, um, I guess."

She smiled, "Really? That's great."

He went back to reading his book as if his life depended on it. She caught secret glances at him and after a while, he once again disappeared from the real world. His eyes moved quickly, his breathing became rhythmic and even. He wasn't uncomfortable in his own body anymore, because he was no longer himself, but the character in his book.

She looked at the book about a Pianist on the table in front of him. She was about to ask him about it when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She took it out and saw that it was a message from Finn.

 _Idiot! What r_ _u doing? I've been waiting for 25 minutes! Let's gooooooooo!_

She couldn't believe her detention was over already. To Rey, they had only been sitting there for minutes. She picked up her bags and stood, Ben remaining in his exact same position. He didn't even notice she was standing. She smiled and didn't want to disturb him. So she opened her bag and took out a notebook. With a pen, she quickly wrote down a note and left the notebook there. She was nervous that ripping out the page would break the beauty of what she was doing. It was very poetic, she thought.

She snuck out of the library, Mrs. Solo saluting her on her way out.

She couldn't stop smiling. She thanked the universe for helping her make another friend, something that was difficult for her. She took it as a sign. It meant she would get the part in West Side Story and finally grow into a person she wanted to be.

* * *

 **This chapter was very long. Most will not be so lengthy.**

 **Also, I myself am an introvert, but don't have such severe social anxieties as our dear Rey. I want to make sure I am writing that correctly. So if I offended someone or should change something, PLEASE tell me.**

 **Comments are greatly appreciated!**

 **- _O_**


	3. Chapter 2

" _Shouldn't everybody care about everybody else?_ "  
" _Boy, what a fruitcake you are._ "

 **-Edie & Terry,** _On The Waterfront_

* * *

Finn parked his car in his driveway, but the two walked over to Rey's house together. She was telling him all about Ben, the mysterious man she met in the library. Finn told her how proud he was of her for actually talking to someone.

"I think it's all a big sign," she said eagerly, "it means I'm going to get the part."

"How does _that_ mean you are getting the part?" he asked while opening her front door. The two walked inside like they had done for years, like it was their own little house and they were all they ever needed.

"When do I ever meet someone that I can talk to for more than five minutes? I mean, it was like I was talking to you!"

Finn laughed. "Well I'm glad you found another friend. Shall I make you some cookies?"

She rolled her eyes, throwing her bag on the living room couch, "There is no need for sarcasm."

He continued to laugh as he walked into the kitchen. She heard the usual microwave buttons as he started cooking the popcorn. She opened the TV stand and looked at all her movies.

"What are we watching?" Finn asked from the kitchen.

"Um," Rey answered back, "maybe 'Funny Girl'?

"We watched that like, three days ago."

"But it's so good," Rey whined. "Okay, what about ' _On The Waterfront_ '? It's a manly, non-musical kind of movie."

"Who is in that?" he asked, walking into the living room with the popcorn.

"Marlon Brando," Rey answered, looking almost insulted. "You _know_ who he is."

Finn thought for a moment, tapping his finger on his chin. "Was he in ' _Funny Girl_ '?"

Rey took a deep breath, trying not to yell. She stood and went straight into the bathroom. Finn called out to her, asking what was her problem was. She grabbed two cotton balls and walked back into the living room. She stuck them in her mouth, under her bottom lip. Then she put her hands out and mocked, 'Vito Corleone'.

"I'm gunna give him an offer he can't refuse," she said in a husky voice.

Finn laughed at her, snapping his fingers as if that would help him remember. "Yeah, okay. That's familiar. Hang on."

"The Godfather!" She yelled.

The front door swung open and drowning out Rey yelling. Her father, Luke, walked inside the house. He closed the front door and smiled at the two kids in his living room. He was a patient, middle-aged man with long gray hair. Of course, he had to have some kind of patience to understand Rey's problems. His beard was never shaven and Rey never asked him to shave it. She thought it suited him.

"Hey, dad. How was work?" Rey asked, cotton balls still in her mouth.

"It was good. Also, I need you to kill my daughters rapist." He clasped his hands together tightly.

Rey pointed at her father while glaring at Finn. Then she smiled and replied in a husky voice, "You come to me on my daughter's wedding day, asking me to commit murder. What have I done to deserve such disrespect?"

Luke laughed while looking at his daughter with pride. "That's brilliant."

Rey bowed. "Thank you, thank you."

"Well I know what you're talking about now. So let's watch whatever you want to watch," Finn retorted while rolling his eyes.

After much harassment, Rey finally put in the movie. They both sat on the couch, sharing popcorn. Finn had to repeatedly yell at Rey for talking throughout the movie. She had to tell him all the inside things that happened during the movie. How Marlon picked up the glove and put it on spontaneously, and it began a famous scene. She told him all about the 'I could have been a Contender!' scene and why it was so special.

Finn was used to this, Rey talking through the movies, because she did it during almost every movie they watched. Even ones that she has never seen. He figured it was because she didn't talk to anyone all day. So when she doesn't have to fight to socialize, she couldn't stop from expressing herself. He knew she would be a social butterfly if circumstances were different. It was something, however, she would have to work through if she was going to grace any kind of stage.

They were reaching the end of the movie when Rey's phone buzzed. She was confused, as how the only person who texted her was sitting right next to her. Then she remembered Ben, the library man. She practically flew from her seat and grabbed her phone. It was a text from an unknown number.

 _They're screening Casablanca at the drive-in tomorrow. Want to go?_

She held back a smile, mostly because Finn was already staring at her like she was crazy. She knew she would hear from him but didn't think it would be so soon. Casablanca was one of her favorite movies. She knew about the drive-in playing it, of course. She was going to ask Finn.

Something struck her that made her almost choke. Was this a _date_? Did he think she wanted to date him? Or was this two friends going to the drive-in? Finn and her do it all the time. Surely it wasn't a date.

 _Sure_.

She couldn't believe that's all she sent. She couldn't decide between adding a smiley face or if that would imply that she wanted this to be a date.

 _Okay. I'll meet you there at 8._

He wasn't picking her up, which relieved her. It wasn't a date. This was two awkward friends going to watch an incredible movie. She had to tell herself that three more times so she could concentrate on the movie.

She couldn't stop the strange feeling in her stomach, though. It was like she was either going to scream from happiness or throw up.

She looked for Ben during school all day long.

It was as if he was not real. She was seriously considering that she made up the entire thing. It wouldn't be a surprise. Obviously, Rey is not normal. Would it be so strange that she's lost it and created Ben in her mind? She's always had an active imagination.

It would be a good for a movie but it was very unnerving in real life. After school she decided she would look in the library. She met him there only the previous day, she thought maybe he would return.

Mrs. Solo was there, reading another magazine. This one was called, 'ATOMIC BOMBS IN 1989. A CRISIS!'.

"Hello Mrs. Solo," Rey greeted her with a smile.

She looked up from her magazine and smiled back warmly. "There she is. Another detention?"

"No, not this time," Rey chuckled. "I'm actually looking for someone."

"Really? You?" she asked in disbelief. "That doesn't seem like you."

"I know, but here I am."

"Who is it? I could probably help you."

"I don't know his last name, but his first name is Ben. He's really tall and has black hair, a little long."

Mrs. Solo's eyes seemed to glimmer with amusement. The corners of her lips twitched with a smile, but she repressed it. "Really? What did his face look like?"

Rey blushed a little, looking at her feet. "Well he was um, very handsome. He had dark eyes and a prominent nose."

Mrs. Solo couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, now that you mention it, I _do_ know who he is."

"Who? What's so funny?" Rey asked, confused.

"His name is Ben Solo."

It took only seconds for Rey to connect the dots. Her face heated and she could only imagine how red she became. She immediately wanted to run away and hide in the fiction aisle. "Your... son?"

She nodded.

"He goes to school here?"

"No," she answered, "He's in his first year of college. My car was in the shop. He was waiting for me to clock out so he could give me a ride home."

"Oh my god," Rey breathed in disbelief. It was the only thing she could think to say. Someone pulling out every eyelash on her eyes would be a walk in the park compared to this humiliation.

"He talked to you?" she asked, then realized how that sounded, "Not that there is anything wrong with talking to you, of course. He is just such a loner. All he cares about is his music."

Music? She could only think of the Pianist book Ben was looking at. Did he play the piano?

"He _did_ seem in a good mood when we left," she noted, laughing again.

"Okay, this was great. It was great seeing you. Enjoy your magazine." Rey turned to run away.

"Rey!" Mrs. Solo called, "Don't run away, come back here!"

Rey didn't listen. She just ran as fast as she could out of the library. She could barely breath. That situation was precisely why she didn't talk to people. When given the chance to open her mouth, all she did was make an ass of herself. She decided to walk home so she could just be alone.

As she made her way through the suburban neighborhood her school resided in, she tried to focus on the positive. Despite it all, she did found out some information about Ben. He was a musician, or loved music of some kind. They had more in common than she thought. She loved music too.

She found herself thinking of the questions she would ask Ben that very night. She wanted to know more about him and thought if she rehearsed it all, it would relax her. She went through how she would ask about his music, if he responded harshly, how she would reply. It was something she had done ever since she was a child.

She would never be able to go in the library again. That much was certain. Not after the way she ran away from Mrs. Solo like the sweet older woman was going to murder her. She was so mortified she didn't even want to tell Finn.

It took her a good twenty minutes to get home but she was thankful for the time to clear her head. She knew Finn would want to come over, but she was too tired. Mrs. Solo had exhausted her.

So she went upstairs, climbed in her bed and texted Finn.

 _Sorry, I'm too tired for a movie tonight._

Finn replied quickly, understanding as usual.

 _OK. Wana tlk about it?_

Rey sighed and couldn't even replied. She buried herself further in her covers and closed her eyes. It felt so good to be alone. Alone and warm. She wished she could stay like that forever.

She looked at her necklace, the pendant was a watch. She opened it and took a deep breath. It was 7:45. It would take her exactly ten minutes to reach the drive-in. Was it stupid to get there five minutes early? She stood next to the door, contemplating her future options.

"Are you okay?" her father asked, peeking from the kitchen.

She turned around, his voice breaking her from the trance she was in. "Yes, sorry. I'm debating with myself."

"Is this about the 'friend' you're going to the drive-in with?" His sarcasm when he said the word 'friend' was not amusing to Rey.

"He is just a friend. You should be proud that I was able to make one."

"Yes, yes. I am very proud of you. I always am. You should go, it will take you exactly ten minutes to get to the drive-in. It's okay to arrive on time."

It was like he could read her mine. She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Okay, okay. I'm leaving. I'll be home in a couple of hours."

"For goodness sake, take your time."

She closed the door and jogged to her father's beat up Ford truck. It was a rust bucket but she loved the sound of it. She pulled out of her driveway and sped in the direction of the drive-in. She was deliberately trying not to think about the awkwardness in her future. However, trying not to think about it was making her think about it.

Thankfully, she reached the drive-in before she could turned around and run for home. She expected to be the first one to arrive between the two, but saw a tall figure standing near the ticket booth. She then realized she would probably have to get in his car, or he would get in her truck? Should she park? Or drive up to him?

In a panic, she stopped the truck in the middle of the parking lot. When doing so, the car behind her laid on the horn, making her jump out of her seat. The figure turned toward her, and quickly ran in her direction. How could she escape? She could try to loop around the parking lot and make a run for it.

"Rey?" His deep voice yelled over the horn.

Rey gulped, lowered the window and smiled nervously. "Hello, there."

The horn behind her kept beeping. "Hey! Move your fucking truck!"

* * *

 **Okay, shorter chapter! But this is about the length I want each chapter. I am having so much fun writing this and hope you are having fun reading it.**

 **Also, 'On The Waterfront', it's a pretty good movie. Marlon Brando was a shit person in real life, but an incredible actor. Go watch it, for Rey's sake. She might have a heart attack.**

 **Comments and feedback are always appreciated!**

 **-O**


	4. Chapter 3

_**"Here's looking at you, kid."**_ -Humphrey Bogart

* * *

 _The horn behind her kept beeping. "Hey! Move your fucking truck!"_

Ben looked from Rey's eyes to the car behind her, eyes filled with irritation. "How about you wait a goddamn minute?"

Rey was shocked to hear Ben yell, but couldn't dwell on it with the man continuously beeping. "Do you want to get in my truck or your car?" Rey quickly asked. "That way I know if I have to park or not."

The dick behind Rey didn't stop beeping for a second. Ben locked eyes with Rey while he spoke, sticking his finger finger to the guy with his free hand. "You can park, I have my car parked near the entrance."

She was extremely surprised that this was the same man she saw in the library. She wondered if she made a mistake. What if he was a psychopath with thirteen different personalities? She didn't have much time to ponder on it. She just wanted the beeping to stop, so she pulled her truck further down the parking lot in search of a spot. When she found one, she pulled in and shut her engine off. She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes, breathing evenly. She was already exhausted and wanted to hide in her bed.

In the distance, she heard Ben yelling to the guy who honked her. She couldn't help but laugh. She was a magnet for awkward situations. Still, she was determined to continue. So she climbed out of her truck and walked towards the entrance. Ben was waiting by his car and when he saw her, he stood straight. She did her best to smile through her discomfort as he opened the passenger door.

"Hey," he said as he ran hid fingers through his hair, shifting weight from one foot to the other.

Even in the darkened parking lot, she could see the red in his cheeks. He was still worked up over the guy who beeped at her. Rey couldn't deny that he was incredibly handsome in that moment. She never had a guy yell at someone for her before. Rey cleared her throat, "Hey."

Without another word, she ducked in his car and he shut the door behind her. The first thing that she noticed was the smell of his cologne. The interior was black, just like the outside. It was a Mazda, sleek and modern. She could tell he took pride in it because everything was very clean and organized.

He opened the driver's door and climbed in. He was too tall for his car, but it seemed like something he was used to. His knees almost touched the steering wheel even though Rey could tell the seat was all the way back.

Rey opened her purse and tried to find her wallet. "Here, let me split the ticket with you."

"No, don't be silly." He answered, turning the car on.

She gulped. He was paying? That's what a gentleman does on a date. What has she gotten herself into?

"Sorry about earlier," Ben said softly as they drove inside the drive-in. There was not many cars there so he was able to get a good spot. "I didn't mean to yell at that guy."

She looked at him curiously. "It's okay. That guy was a jerk."

He cleared his throat. "Yeah... well um, so have you seen this movie before?"

"Hasn't everyone?"

He smiled, making it a point not to look at her. Rey saw a small blush still on his cheeks and figured he was still slightly embarrassed from yelling earlier. "Did you know Humphrey Bogart had to wear platform shoes to look taller than Ingrid."

"Yes but did you know that the famous line, ' _Here's lookin' at you, kid_ ' was improvised by Humphrey?"

This time he looked at her, chuckling lightly. "No I didn't know that."

She felt her face heat when he looked at her. It was different from the first time. This time they were in his dark car and the heat was on and he was staring at her. His dark eyes were so intense, even when filled with humor.

He turned the radio station on as the previews started. As the opening credits started, Rey did her best to pay attention. It was difficult. The air in the car was filled with tension. It was the kind of atmosphere Rey had never experienced before. She was nervous yes, but she felt an even deeper emotion she couldn't understand. She wondered desperately what Ben was thinking about. He seemed calm, sitting very still. His eyes were glued to the screen and didn't seem to notice her staring.

Even in the silence and even though he was still, she could sense his mind _constantly_ brooding with thoughts. She realized she liked looking at him. She liked wondering what he was thinking, like it was a game.

It was in that moment that he caught her staring at him. She couldn't look away and pretend she wasn't looking because it was already too late. He was looking into her eyes like his life depended on it.

"What are you thinking about?" It was the only thing she could think to ask. Her cheeks still heated from her embarrassment, but did her best to ignore it.

"I have your notebook." he answered.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Of all things, that's what you're thinking of?"

He nodded as if it wasn't weird at all. "Yeah, make sure you don't forget it."

"Okay," she answered, doing her best to pay attention to the movie.

" _It's funny about your voice, how it hasn't changed. I can still hear it. '_ _ **Richard, dear, I'll go with you anyplace. We'll get on a train together and never stop**_ _'_." Humphrey Bogart said, drink in his hand.

" _Don't, Rick! I can understand how you feel_." Ingrid responded.

" _You understand how I feel. How long was it we had, honey?_ " he scoffed.

On the verge of tears, Ingrid says, " _I didn't count to days_."

Rey mouthed every word. " _Well, I did. Every on of 'em. Mostly I remember the last one. The wow finish. A guy standing on a station platform in the rain with a comical look in his face because his insides have been kicked out_."

Rey loved this scene. She loved almost every scene, but any with Humphrey and Ingrid was magical. Even when they were arguing or he was saying hurtful things, Rey ate it all up like she hadn't eaten in her entire life. She admired the devotion even though both had been hurt. The devotion was still there, hidden behind every single word.

"When I first saw this movie, I hated it," Ben said in the darkness of his car.

Rey looked over at him. "Really?"

He nodded and returned her stare. "I could never get over the ending."

"But that's what makes the story so beautiful," she whispered, "tragic endings are what makes a movie stay with you for such a long time."

"Yeah, but it wasn't fair," Ben shrugged.

"You're right, it wasn't," she agreed, "but life rarely is fair."

He smirked at her. "So you really like old movies, then? Especially ones with tragic endings?"

"Yes," she chuckled, "I have a weakness for them. Especially musicals."

"Musicals? Really?"

Her eyes widened. "Don't tell me you hate musicals."

"I don't really get them."

She gasped.

"Sorry, but how can I take a scene seriously when they start singing?"

"Music speaks to the soul, do you agree?"

"Absolutely."

"So, when a scene is too passionate, when there is too much to be said that cannot be expressed with words, people sing. Sometimes there are no words that can replace the melody of a song," she answered proudly.

He could only smile in return.

"Take Phantom of the Opera-"

"Another tragic ending," he shook his head.

"Yes, very tragic indeed. But think about when the Phantom sings 'Music of the Night', it makes what he is saying infinity more romantic. Imagine him just speaking the words, 'Turn yourself away from the garish light of day'. It would never mean the same!"

"You make a compelling argument."

"Well the next time we watch a movie, it is going to be a musical," she noted strongly.

She found herself blushing again. Mostly, because she voiced her desire for their 'date' to happen again. Also, because she had gotten lost in her passions and wasn't feeling tired like she usually did when talking to people. She actually felt refreshed and excited. She really enjoyed his company.

" _I can't fight it anymore_ ," Ingrid gasped, " _I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us._ "

Humphrey held her tightly in his arms, " _All right, I will... Here's looking at you, kid_."

Ingrid looks into his eyes, smiling, " _I wish I didn't love you so much_."

Rey was completely swept away by the scene and the romance was intoxicating. She was so far gone, she didn't realize that Ben moved his hand dangerously close to her thigh. When the scene changed she looked over at him, and though his eyes were focused on the screen, it was obvious that he put his hand close to her intentionally. As usual, she couldn't stop her mind from spinning with questions and reasons as to why he put his hand so close to her.

Her hand tingled, though it was firmly in her lap. What _exactly_ was going on here? It was never this tense when she was with Finn. Finn has touched her before, even held her hand, but it never made her skin feel as hot as hers did in that moment. Instead of thinking of hypothetical situations that probably wouldn't happen, she tried to focus on what she wanted. What did she feel?

She put her hand on her thigh, inches from his hand.

She should have known that this was going to happen. It was Casablanca after all. Who wouldn't feel romantic while watching such a fantastically romantic movie?

When the side of his hand touched her skin, she almost jumped. Her heart was thudding so loudly in her ears, she couldn't hear the movie's dialogue. She wouldn't dare look at him but she felt his eyes on her. It was innocent, wasn't it? A friend touching another friend's hand? She wanted to slap herself for even the thought. Of course it wasn't a friend touching another friend's hand. This was a man who wanted to touch Rey's hand in an incredible romantic way. She turned her hand over so her palm was facing upward. His fingers trailed over his skin and she loved the way it felt, so much so that it scared her.

Finally, their fingers intertwined. Rey's head was swimming, the entire ordeal sending her over the edge. His hand was warm and so much larger than her own. She had never held a boy's hand so intimately before. The very idea of doing anything intimately with a boy scared the shit out of her. She tried to ignore the fact that she was holding some handsome stranger's hand. It was next to impossible.

Humphrey Bogart held Ingrid Bergman and uttered the famous line, "We'll always have Paris."

Rey was so hot she was worried she would faint. She looked out the window even though she felt Ben's dark eyes on her. She tried to be strong and not look at him. She was afraid of what she might do if she did.

"I get what you mean," Ben whispered, "about tragic endings."

Rey smiled and looked at the screen, anything but his eyes. "Do you?"

"Something about them loving each other, even though they're apart... it's very poetic."

She couldn't help herself. She looked at him, impressed with how close his thinking was to her own. She didn't even remember they were holding hands. It was like they melded into one hand, as if she was used to being connected to him all the time.

"It's funny..." he whispered, his lips drawing ever closer to hers, "I've seen this movie about a million times, but I've never talked to anyone about it. I've never wanted to talk to someone about it..."

She understood what he meant because she felt the same exact way.

"I've never... there was never anyone I could..."

"Me neither," she smiled, looking down at his lips. They were plump and pink, and so close to her own.

She always wanted to escape reality through movies, music and books. She never thought a person would take her away. But he was taking her away. She wasn't in his car anymore but in a sunny meadow, surrounded by lilac bushes. She didn't even care that his lips were inching towards her. She wanted them too, hungry for something new and exciting. He smiled, inches from her lips, "Here's looking at you, kid."

What a poetic story, how incredibly romantic. It was the kind of story Rey dreamed of. It the scene she would love to play on a stage.

But the credits rolled and the lights surrounding the drive-in flickered on. The movie was over and her sense of reality came crashing into her. She wasn't in a sunny meadow, but inside of Ben's black Mazda.

She jumped back, breathing one word. "Sorry."

He jumped too, releasing her hand. He cleared his throat as if he too, was under a spell. "No, no... I'm sorry."

"It's very hot in here." It was all she could think of to say.

He rolled down the windows, his cheeks and ears red. "Sorry about that, I... I got carried away. I'm not... I don't usually do things like this I just-"

"No, don't worry about it," she interrupted, "I just thought... I was going to faint."

It was a lame excuse. But the awkwardness was choking her, making her wish she could just open the car door and run away. She wanted to kiss him, this man she has known for 48 hours. She couldn't believe how close she came to touching his lips... Still, the over stimulation exhausted her. She needed to go home and recharge.

He pulled out of the drive-in slowly, waiting behind cars in front of him. The fresh air made her feel much better even though her body was tingling still. He drove up to her truck when in the parking lot and go out of the driver seat. He opened the passenger door for her and shifted on his feet like he was very uncomfortable.

He walked her to her truck, opening the door for her. He cleared his throat and she could tell he was scrambling for something to say.

So she said something instead. "Thank you, that was fun."

He nodded, looking at his fee., "Yeah, thank you for coming. Um, have a good night."

She smiled, happy he wasn't looking at her with his intense eyes. She shut her truck's door and turned the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life and he stood watching her pull away. When she drove away, looking through her review mirror, she could see him waving. She waved back and drove out of the parking lot.

She smiled to herself, mostly out of disbelief. She went from a girl who had one friend and couldn't make eye contact with people, to almost kissing an absolute stranger in a car 24 hours later.

A sign, indeed

* * *

 **Okay, this one is incredibly short. But if I continued it would have been 4000 words long lol.**

 **I wrote this while watching Casablanca and if you haven't seen it, I highly encourage you to do so! It's incredibly romantic, with a taste of tragedy that Rey is so fond of.**

 **Comments are appreciated! I want to know your thoughts!**

 **-O**


	5. Chapter 4

**Lord, what a difference a day made. And the difference is you.**

* * *

"When is the audition?" Finn asked, picking at his chicken tenders.

The cafeteria was bustling with kids. Half of them hated every second of being there and the other half were too delusional to see anything else but the walls of school. Rey could only stare at her salad, not sure where she fit in those categories. Finn had asked her that question before but she didn't seem to hear him. She had been daydreaming all day long. She tried cleared her head and took a deep breath. "In exactly a month, the 24th of March."

"Are you excited? You've waited years for this moment," he continued.

She nodded with a smile. "I am beyond excited, but far more nervous. I hope I don't chicken out."

"You won't," he grinned. "I won't let you."

They continued to eat amongst the incredible noise, the two friends always sitting as far away from the crowds as possible. She began daydreaming soon after their conversation. She could only think of dark brown eyes and a warm hand touching her own. It had been three days since their encounter. She could barely stop smiling the next day. The fool actually thought she would get over it soon after. Alas, three days later, her head was still swimming with only Ben Solo.

A part of her wanted to talk to Ben, but a much bigger part of her was still very much a chicken. She played the night over and over again in her mind. She wished she kissed him. Even if she never saw him again, she could have that as her first kiss. It was incredibly romantic.

She felt like nothing would compare to that opportunity. Ben was probably scared away, embarrassed and feeling rejected. She wanted him to know how she regretted pulling away from her first kiss. She didn't know how to begin to explain herself and even if she did, she knew she would never have the courage to actually say it.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she realized a new person had joined their table. It was not her favorite person. In her mind, he was very much an arch enemy. He was brass, immature and acted unintelligent.

Poe Dameron.

He was sitting right next Finn with a big smile on his face.

"Poe," Rey stated as a greeting. She didn't feel he deserved much more than that.

Poe was undeniably handsome. Even Rey couldn't lie and say he was anything else. But unlike most of the females in their school, she saw past the romantic eyes and pearly white teeth, and saw the douche bag underneath. "You're looking as beautiful as ever, Rey."

She rolled her eyes and did not respond to the empty flattery.

"Hey, Finn are you coming over later? My parents are gone and I'm having a party." Poe looked at Finn in a funny way, a way that obviously made Finn uncomfortable.

Rey's best friend nodded and purposely looked away from Poe's eyes. "Yeah, I'll be there."

It wasn't the first time Finn had gone to Poe's parties. Rey never understood why he went. Poe and Finn were as different as cats and dogs. Poe, a man-whore jock and Finn, who was sensitive and intelligent. She never knew why they kept company with one another. And as much as she voiced her disgust for Poe, Finn would just laugh and tell her she was silly.

Thankfully the bell rang and with another awkward whisper, Poe left them. Everyone shuffled as quickly as necessary. With only four minutes to get to their next period, they frequently ran instead of walked.

Rey's next period was study hall, and her teacher was never one to fuss over kids being late. So she took her time to get to the next class. Finn, on the other hand, had English. Professor Hux was never one to tolerate anyone being tardy. So he ran ahead of Rey.

She had to walk past the library on the way to class. She thought of skipping and hiding among the books but her last interaction with Mrs. Solo is the only thing that stopped her. She was so ashamed of how she ran out of the sweet woman.

So she kept her head down and power-walked down the hall.

"Oh, Miss Skywalker!" A familiar voice called.

Rey froze and as if painfully done, she turned around. Mrs. Solo was leaning against the library door with a big smile on her face.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you something when you ran away yesterday."

Rey cleared her throat, her cheeks heating with shame. "Sorry, I just-"

"Oh you do not need to explain yourself to me, I remember what it was like to be eighteen trust me," she walked closer to Rey, "I'm sure you have a class but I don't really care."

"Study hall," she squeaked out.

"Yeah, yeah whatever," she waved, uninterested in where Rey had to be, "I was trying to tell you that Ben goes to Burningham's State College. Today is Friday, right? If you're not too busy, I suggest you drive over there after school. Go into the auditorium and sit in the back row."

Rey was utterly confused. "But..."

"Don't ask for an explanation, just go there after school. And don't be afraid to come to the library," she said as she walked to the library door, "I miss seeing your cute face in the Fiction aisle."

With that, she shut the door and left Rey standing in the hallway alone.

* * *

Rey shut the truck's engine off, and contemplated turning it back on. She didn't know why she listened and why she was in a college parking lot.

What made her more anxious was that she had to walk inside a building filled with college kids. She knew that be far too much stimulation for her.

She took a deep breath and decided that her curiosity was far too great to turn back now. So she hopped out of the truck and briskly walked towards the entrance. If she went fast enough, she wouldn't have to bump into anyone.

Once inside she took a second to take in her surroundings. There wasn't a soul in sight, but the entrance hall was enormous. Then it struck her that she had no idea where the auditorium was.

Determined to not speak to a soul, she wandered around in hopes of finding a campus map. She sighed when she couldn't find one, suddenly tired. Doing new things, like walking into a college with no idea how to get around, was incredibly exhausting.

As she wandered, she heard the faint sound of music. She stopped in her tracts, wondering if it was just her imagination. The sound continued and it was so beautiful she couldn't help but follow it.

She went down a long hallway and the music only got louder.

It was a piano.

She saw two large double doors and when she opened them slightly, the piano notes hit her like a fresh breeze. She snuck in as quietly as she could and inside was a large auditorium. She had found it, or rather, it seemed to find her.

On the stage in the front of the large hall, was a beautiful black piano. Behind it was a man with raven black curls. She sat in the back row, happy for the darkness around her. The only light was shining on Ben. He continued to play and each note seemed far too beautiful for her to comprehend.

The melody was sad, so sad that it felt like a tragedy.

Rey didn't realize but she was grasping her heart as if it was breaking. In that beautiful moment, the rest of the world vanished. She almost felt like she wasn't supposed to listen. The music was such a clear indication of his heart, she had a feeling she was imposing.

He began to hit the keys a bit harder, showing more anger than sadness. The playing increased, bending each way to show the frenzy of thoughts within him. She could barely breath as he hit the keys so hard, his entire body shook. He hair fell in his face but he continued to play, faster and faster.

Then he suddenly stopped.

Rey held her breath, still clutching her heart. She wasn't even sure if it was still beating.

Then, slowly and with such a tender touch, he began to play again. This time it was soft and vulnerable. It drifted into sadness again. Inescapable sadness and more importantly, loneliness. It made Rey feel things she had never felt before. The notes wrapped themselves around her heart and squeezed as hard as they could.

When the last note played, Rey let out a breath and felt tears fall down her cheeks. She couldn't move or think or do anything. She only watched him stand and fix his hair. The only thing that brought her back to reality was when his eyes landed directly on her, as if he suddenly felt her presence. He squinted his eyes, almost disbelieving that she was actually there.

She stood, wiping her tears quickly. What could she do after seeing so much of his soul? She felt like she saw something only special people could see, people that were close to him. He began to walk in her direction and in a fit of panic, she ran out the auditorium doors.

She ran as fast as she could down the hallway, refusing to look behind her. The only thing that stopped her was when she slammed into a man who was innocently walking down the hall. She fell back hard, and heard the sound of papers flying everywhere.

She sighed, feeling like the most unlucky person in the world.

She stood in a flash, apologizing to the man. He stood, telling her it was alright. She tried to help gather all the papers that flew around them. She glanced behind her and saw Ben running toward her. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She apologized to the man, who was probably a professor, and ran out of the entrance hall.

The cool evening air hit her and gave her a second wind. She ran as fast as she could to her truck.

"Rey!" She heard him call out to her.

She almost reached her truck when she felt a hand grab her arm. He spun her around but didn't say a thing. He probably didn't know what to say. All they did was look at each other and try to catch their breath.

Rey sighed and looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to impose."

"What?" he questioned, "Impose?"

"I listened to you play without permission."

He shook his head, looking toward the school. "How... How did you know..."

"Your mother told me," she answered, the truth coming out of her like vomit. "I had asked her about you before we went to the drive-in and found out she was your mom. She saw me today and told me to come here and find the auditorium. I didn't know you would be playing, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, please," he begged, letting go of her arm, "there is nothing to apologize for."

"But..." she whispered, finally looking at him. "I listened to you play without you knowing, and it was such a sad song."

He shrugged. "I don't care that you listened. If I knew you were listening I would have played something better."

"No, it was... it was breathtaking," she said, looking down at his lips briefly. "I've never heard such beautiful playing in all my life. You're so talented."

He blushed, his ears turning beat red. "T-Thanks... I... You're the first person to hear me play."

"Really?" she questioned, shocked.

He nodded. "I play on Friday's after school because people rush out of here to enjoy their weekend. I used to play in front of my parents, but I don't anymore. How my mother knew where I would be and that I was playing, I have no idea."

Rey smiled. "She's very cunning."

"More than you know."

They laughed and then she took a deep breath. "Well, thank you for letting me hear you play. I had a feeling you played."

"Really?"

"The day we met, you had a book about a pianist," she ran her fingers through her hair to try and rid herself of some anxiety, "I wondered if you were either learning or loved classical music."

Ben smiled and looked down at his hands. "I learned when I was a boy. I was an odd kid, so my parents thought it would be a good outlet. I took on to it pretty fast, but they said all I played was sad music."

"Sad music is as beautiful as tragic end in a movie."

He smirked and looked at Rey with deep feelings. "I'm glad I got to see you again. I've been wanting to talk to you about the drive-in... how I acted..."

Rey blushed and didn't know what to say.

"I don't want you thinking that I do that all the time. I just... I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't talk to people and people don't talk to me. If they do I don't really ever care what they say. It was easy to talk to you and that doesn't happen often so I just got a little carried away. So I'm sorry for everything."

He looked as if he was going to have a panic attack from saying everything he said. He was all worked up, hands waving every which way. Rey couldn't help but find him adorable. She smiled. "Don't apologize. It was very romantic, I can't believe I chickened out."

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Chickened out?"

She covered her face with her hand. "It seems I've embarrassed myself again..." she waved her hand dismissively, "Oh whatever... Well, I've gone over that night again and again. I thought it would have been the most poetic story, two people at a drive-in watching one of the most romantic movies in history. What a story, indeed, but I'm a coward and I chickened out."

He was laughing while running his hand through his curls. "Well, that makes me feel a little bit better."

They stood looking at each other for a moment more before she sighed. "It was lovely seeing you and hearing you play. I think I should go now."

"Wait, before you go, can you wait here?" he asked.

She nodded and watched as Ben ran off. He ran almost across the entire parking lot. Rey thought he lost his mind for a moment, but saw him climb into a car. She smiled as he came running back with something in his hand. His cheeks were red from running and the cold air. He looked as handsome as ever.

He handed her the notebook she left with him the first day they met. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw it in his hand. He laughed too. "I forgot to give it to you at the drive-in."

She took it. "Thank you, that's marvelous. I have an English test coming up and I needed to study."

After their goodbyes, Ben opened her truck door and closed it behind her. He watched her drive away and when she looked in the review mirror, she saw him waving goodbye.

* * *

 **This story has me so excited and that hasn't happen to me in a long time. So I'm just posting and enjoying the ride. Another chapter next Monday**

 **Comment your thoughts and feelings please!**

 **-O**


	6. Chapter 5

**This chapter has some mature themes.**

" _I got a bad case of the reds" -Audrey Hepburn_

Rey sat at the dinner table with her father and picked at her peas. Her father was talking to her but she wasn't really hearing him. Another voice was in her head. One that was deep and mesmerizing.

"It was easy to talk to you..."

No one had ever said that to her. Not even Finn.

It had been two days since they spoke at his college. Yet, she could still hear the conversation clear on her mind. She could see how the setting sun made his dark brown eyes glimmer and how his cheeks were slightly red from the chilly air. She could even smell the autumn breeze and faint touches of his cologne. It should be unnerving how much Ben had occupied her thoughts in the past week.

Her father continued to talk about his job and how some new kid thinks he knows more than everyone. He could tell his daughter's mind was elsewhere. He didn't pester her. Mostly because he knew she would tell him things in her own time. He was also never one to pry and respected her privacy.

When dinner was over, Rey showered and seemed to float back into her room. Something about the past few days had made her feel like gravity wasn't affecting her.

She practice for her audition while trying to push Ben out of her thoughts. She had to perform a speaking audition and a song audition. The regular audition was a conversation between Maria and Tony, a more intimate scene to show she is capable of showing emotion. Then for her singing audition, she was going to sing Maria's part from the song 'Somewhere'. She knew it by heart but thought she should practice it anyway.

She was never schooled for musical performances. She only went to music class in school, which was a joke. Her knowledge was built from singing in front of the mirror and acting out plays she admired.

She brushed her hair as she sung, keeping her pitch as perfectly as possible. Still, even while singing and braiding her hair, she thought of Ben. She imagined him behind the midnight piano and could hear the notes filling her ears as if she was in the auditorium again.

A fantasy overtook her and like the plague, it consumed her. She was standing on a stage, the spotlight on her. Beside her, Ben was playing the piano. His fingers flew across the keys with confidence and passion. She sang along to his melody, both of them lost in the music.

Yes, she was determined to try and think of him as only a friend. But the fantasy was tempting and made her entire body buzz with excitement.

To distract herself, she stopped singing and turned on her record player. Dinah Washington's voice filled the air and sang of love in a day.

She laid on her bed, closed her eyes and listened to the soulful singing. Her notebook was beside her on the bed. It was the one she wrote a note on for Ben when they first met. She skimmed through it and saw the page with her note missing. She wondered if he kept it for a memory. It would be an incredibly romantic gesture.

She then briefly wondered what Finn was doing.

Then she remembered Poe Dameron was having a party at his house. Finn wouldn't shut up about it. He didn't bother to ask her to go because he knew she'd rather jump off a cliff then go to Poe Dameron's house.

Her record player sang her to sleep, singing sweet lullabies about love and romance.

* * *

Warm hands touched her face and all she could do was smile. His eyes were dark and enticing. He said something but she couldn't hear him. Whatever he said made butterflies flutter inside her.

His hands touched her hair, pulled her as close as she could possibly be. He held her with calm hands even though her nerves were jumping.

He whispered something in her ear, and though she couldn't understand him, she felt a shiver run down get spine. His large hands laid her down on something soft.

In an instant, he kissed her lips. She felt her veins burst into flames, engulfing her body in fire. She wrapped her hands around his neck, never wanting him to let her go.

His lips moved to her neck as she tried to catch her breath. He found a sweet spot beneath her jaw and bit her skin tenderly. She gasped from the bite and felt her stomach tingle. His free hand inched down her stomach, like a hunter inching towards his prey. Something inside Rey felt like it was going to burst, yet she wanted more. His tongue slid past her lips and she jumped from surprise. How was he so good at this?

His hand moved in between her legs and she moaned, the fire becoming hotter than before. She realized that's where she wanted him to touch the most. She ached for it, grabbed his shirt and held onto him for dear life.

She could never understand his voice or what he was saying, though her body responded to it. Each whisper and command left her aching with thirst. And even though she couldn't hear him, she could hear herself begging him to take her. She whined and groaned in a voice so unlike her own, pushing against him. She was willing to do anything to ease the desire, to fulfill her want.

The next thing she could see was him taking off his shirt. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and instead of leaning down to her, he just looked at her. She looked down at herself and realized she was naked too. She blushed but didn't even try to cover herself. She wanted him to drink in her body and use every inch of it. Her eyes roamed over his chest, which was muscular and solid. He was breathing heavily with temptation and lust written on every curve of his face.

His hands grabbed her breasts and he pushed his groin against hers roughly. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head with the sensation turning the fire within her, into an inferno. He leaned down and she felt pressure between her legs. She lost her breath as she felt incredible pleasure ripple through her. It made her tremble and say things she never thought she would ever say.

He kissed her lips with a maddening urgency. When she bit his bottom lips teasingly and he pushed against her harder. It was tender and fierce at the same time, soft and hard.

The fire grew hotter and hotter by the minute. Her muscles were tightening and she didn't know what was happening. She held him close as he continued to thrust against her. Something was escalating, building inside her and she could only cry out as the feeling shook her.

 _ **"Ben!"**_

Rey sat up in her bed, sweat dripping down her face. She desperately looked around in the dark to find Ben. Then it stuck her that it was all a dream and Ben was not in her bed. She was alone. She got up and did her best to reach the bathroom down the hall.

She turned on the light and splashed her face with cold water.

She could not believe that she, Rey Skywalker, actually had a sex dream. Not only that, but a sex dream about a boy she met a week ago. It was so strange to her. She was never overly sexual, or lusted after something before.

Still her stomach was warm and stirring like a melting pot. It was so real to her. She could feel his lips on hers as if it happened moments ago.

What was happening to her?

* * *

"How was Poe's party?" Rey asked as Finn as they walked into school.

Finn shrugged. "It was pretty good. It was nice to hang with Poe. Kids got fucked up too early and kind of ruined it. The cops were called so the party didn't last that long."

"Oh dear," Rey replied. "Sounds like... fun."

He laughed. "You don't have to lie."

"Okay, it sounds absolutely terrifying."

"Well, how eventful was your day yesterday? I didn't see you after school."

She hated herself for automatically seeing images of the dream she had about Ben. It made her blush but Finn didn't seem to notice. She shrugged away her embarrassment. "Nothing, really. I wanted to get home to practice. Plus, I was tired. It has been an exhausting weak."

"Well how about we go to the Poor Richard's today?" he asked with a big smile. "I'll buy you cheesecake and we will read to our hearts content."

"You had me at Poor Richard's," she chuckled.

They parted ways for the day with a goodbye and Rey skipped to class. She hadn't been to Poor Richard's in a long time. It was her favorite book shop in their town. It's name was created when the owner, Richard, discovered that he was poor in every aspect of his life besides his book collection. He said his books made him rich beyond his wildest dreams. He wanted people to feel the same way so he opened a run down book store in the worst part of town. He still remains there today, barely making it by every month. Still, he is a very polite and humble man. He just really loves books.

Rey liked being around passionate people and his bookstore smelled like old books. It was a great combination to her.

School couldn't get over soon enough. It dragged on and on like an old cat waiting to die. She did good on her math quiz and managed to not piss off Mr. Rory. Some girl managed to scream at her boyfriend during lunch. Apparently, he was 'DMing' some girl in Rey's homeroom. It was absolutely riveting.

Meet me outside, in front

She glanced at the text quickly and then put it away. The bell ran and she didn't waste any time. She ran to her locker and messed up the combination about three times. When she finally got inside, she grabbed her bag and sprinted towards the school's exit.

When she burst through the double doors and exited her school, the cold air felt like having a glass of water in a desert. She could barely breath from running but was smiling anyway.

Dozens of kids flocked into the school's courtyard. She never understood why they stood in the cold talking when they could all be home. Yet, every day, they piled outside to talk in groups. She looked for Finn's Prius, desperate to get to Poor Richard's. She wanted to be surrounded by books that were older than she was.

Her smiled faded when she saw a very familiar black Mazda parked in the road across from the school's courtyard. Her face prickled with nerves and she realized she didn't actually look at who the text was from. She assumed it was from Finn. She never thought he would...

Ben got out of his car and looked over at her with a small smile. Her breathing hitched and she did her best to remain calm. He had on black aviator sunglasses and a leather jacket that was extremely worn. He waved and walked around to the passenger door. He leaned against it, crossing his arms against his chest.

She gulped. There was no way she could talk to him. Not when she had a very sexual dream with him in it the night before. All she could remember is how he looked when no shirt on.

Kids around her all mumbled to themselves. Girls were questioning who the handsome man was and guys discussed what year his car was.

Rey was frozen for a good two minutes before forcing herself to walk towards him. He waited patiently, watching her. Her face felt very hot despite the cold weather outside. Everyone watched as Rey walked over to him. It was her worst nightmare.

"Hey," he greeted with a grin. His low voice made her blush worsen.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Rey questioned in a low voice. She could still feel people's glares.

"Did you get my text?"

So it was him that texted her and not Finn. Finn was probably waiting for her somewhere else.

"Um, yeah I got it."

"I just..." He looked down at his feet awkwardly. "I wanted to see you."

She couldn't stop herself from smiling because she was beyond flattered and not used to handling it. In that moment, he looked so much older than everyone around her. With his leather jacket and tall stature, he certainly stood apart from her classmates. She did her best to loosen up. People were staring, yes of course they were. She didn't want to care about that. "I wanted to see you, too."

"Really?" he asked, eyebrows raising in surprise.

She laughed at his expression and nodded.

"Well, maybe we can go get coffee or something. I know a cool place downtown."

"Actually-" Rey began speaking but what interrupted by Finn's red Prius pulling up next to them. Her anxiety tripled in an instant. Finn parked his car and got out, looking at Ben suspiciously. Rey thought of a lie and then didn't know why she was about to lie. "I was going to a book store today. It's called Poor Richard's. Have you ever heard of it? It's in Corn-hill."

"No, I haven't," he answered, watching Finn walk up to both of them.

When he reached them, Rey cleared her throat. "Finn this is Ben, the guy I met in the library. Ben this is my very good friend Finn."

They shook hands firmly and nodded at one another. Finn seemed very guarded and there was no way to tell what Ben was feeling.

"Well if you haven't been there, would you like to join us?"

Rey felt Finn look at her questioningly. He probably wanted it to be just them but Rey panicked. She didn't like the vibe of the three of them and now she just invited Ben to join them for the rest of the afternoon. Ben looked at Finn briefly before looking again at Rey.

"Sounds like fun. I can drive."

* * *

 **This chapter is kind of short but it kind of had to be or else it would have been way too long. Sorry for the late update. I have the stomach flu and was busy dying in my bed.**

 **I had to add a little sex dream because this story isn't just about Rey growing and dealing with her social problems. It's about her becoming a woman and handling mature feelings. So hopefully it didn't offend anyone. In my opinion is was extremely mild but I'm a loosey goosey lol!**

 **New chapter next Monday!**

 **Comments make Ben Solo horny!**

 **-O**


	7. Chapter 6

" **Let me love you old school."**

* * *

Being inside Ben's vehicle was already a nerve-wracking experience for Rey. They almost kissed in that very car the last time they were in it together. Adding Finn to the mix only made the tension even more unbearable.

She didn't dare look at her best friend, who was sitting in the backseat behind her. He was uncharacteristically silent. She looked over at Ben briefly, wondering if he felt the tension she did. He seemed at ease with his eyes focusing on the road before him. She could tell he was a much better faker than she was.

"I don't know where I'm going," Ben suddenly said.

Rey jolted from her thoughts. "Sorry, um, turn left at the red light."

"So, Ben..." Finn began with a suspicious tone. Rey immediately wanted to roll out of the car and into oncoming traffic, "Rey hasn't told me that much about you. Where do you go to school?"

"BSU," Ben answered quickly.

"Oh, so you're in college?"

Ben answered with a simple nod. Rey was biting her fingers.

"What are you majoring in?"

Ben looked at Finn in his review mirror briefly. Rey couldn't tell if it was out of curiosity or irritation from being quizzed. "Music."

"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking," Finn continued with his questions.

"I just turned 21."

Finn didn't ask any other questions and the car fell into more silence. In her emotional state, she was desperate to distract from the tension. She turned on Ben's radio, "What kind of music do you have in here?"

Ben smirked quickly and turned it from the radio to the CD player. Rey waited patiently for something to play. She was curious of his music tastes. She couldn't help but smile when Pink Floyd flowed from his speakers.

"Classic rock?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

He nodded then looked at her briefly before looking back to the road. "Are you surprised?"

"Actually, no. I could see you listening to classic rock. Anything else you fancy? Turn right and then take your first left."

He thought for a moment, following directions at the same time. "I like pretty much everything. The only genre I don't care about is the 80s."

"What?" Rey gasped. "Michael Jackson? Donna Summer?"

He shrugged. "It wouldn't be my first choice."

"So disappointing... Marvin Gaye?"

He chuckled, nodding his head with approval. "Okay, yes I do love Marvin Gaye."

She giggled and looked at his profile, almost getting lost in the angles of his face.

"What about you?" he asked, his left hand resting on the panel between them. She wish she didn't notice because it made her remember when they held hands. Her face heated at the thought of his hand touching her own.

"Um, I really love 40s and 50s music," she answered. She looked out the window until the redness in her cheeks diminished. "I do love everything, even stuff made today. I guess I'm not crazy about opera."

"Classical music?" An eyebrow quirked on his face. He was teasing her and she couldn't believe it. Their conversation felt playful and effortless. It reminded her why Ben was special to her. Talking to him was like talking to Finn or her father.

"Yes, I do love classical music. Though I don't get a chance to hear it often. You're just going to have to play for me some more. Merge onto 5 and then get off at the downtown exit."

"Who is your favorite artist from the 40s and 50s?" he asked, eyes still focused on the road.

Rey took advantage of it and continued to look at him while she answered. "Billie Holiday is my all time favorite. Then Dean Martin is my favorite in the later 50s."

"Billie Holiday? Really? Impressive."

She bit her tongue so she didn't smile. She was smiling too much and didn't want to look foolish.

"Make a left," Finn pitched in from the backseat. Rey almost forgot he was back there. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Then it should be on the right."

Ben parked and they quickly got out of the car. Rey looked at the small bookstore before her with pride. Poor Richard's was truly a gem. From the outside, it looked like a store that was abandoned when the owner lost the key to the front door. The sign that hung above it was barely nailed to the building and the windows were so dusty you could hardly see the hooks inside.

Finn walked ahead of then into the store, while Ben lingered and walked alongside Rey. Ben towered over her, walking like he was trying to look smaller than he was. She figured he must be at least 6'2, perhaps even taller.

"I love the smell of this place," she said before opening the door.

She paused, took a deep breath and then walked inside. The store's smell hit her and she almost jumped with joy. She couldn't help but peek at Ben to see his reaction. He was looking around, a sparkle in his eye. After all, he was a book worm like she was. She could tell he completely appreciated it.

The books covered every surface they could. They were piled on top of each other, some so high that they touched the low ceiling. Richard sat behind the counter, his nose buried in a book that had to be at least 400 pages long. He had short hair that was as white as pearls. Small round glasses sat on the tip of his large nose and every piece of clothing he had on was decorated with holes. He looked up and waved to their group, then promptly returned to his book.

If she had her own car, she would be at this bookstore every single day. She wanted Richard to know her and she wanted to know everything about him. She wanted to listen to how he acquired every single book in the store.

"Isn't this place great?" she breathed.

Ben smiled widely, his face bright with admiration. "It's incredible. I can't believe I didn't know about it."

They all wandered around the small store. Ben quickly got distracted, picking up a book and examining it carefully with his long fingers. Rey was looking at a book a little ways from him. She watched him carefully because she was, in her mind, a creep. She loved looking at him and realized she could follow him around all day with a happy smile. His determined look reminded her of the first time she saw him in the library.

"Rey," Finn whispered behind her.

She turned and gulped at how irritated he looked.

"Why did you invite him?" he hissed in a tone low enough so that Ben couldn't hear. "I thought you only met him like, once?"

Rey bit her lip. "We actually went to the movies together. Then I saw him at his college."

Finn's eyes widened, looking a little shocked. "What?"

She shrugged, not really knowing why she felt the need to apologize. "We're just friends. We have a lot of the same interests."

Finn wanted to say something more but for some reason he stopped. He nodded and looked away. "Be careful, okay? Remember that you don't really know him."

Rey turned away without answering. She was frustrated with Finn and didn't want to yell at him. He was acting like her father. Even her own father would never act like Finn was behaving. She understood that he was protective but she also wasn't twelve anymore.

"Just to let you folks know, the basement is open again." Richard said from behind his book.

Rey smiled and quickly made her way to the small stairs in the back of the store. The stairs creaked and groaned from her weight. When she reached the cold basement she sighed happily. Richard had closed it last summer while he dealt with a mold problem. She loved the basement.

All four walls were covered with shelves of books, from ceiling to floor. In the middle was couches that he probably got out of the garbage and tables with chairs. Finn and her would grab coffees and sit down in the basement for hours. He would mostly wait for her to go through the books she found, patiently keeping her company.

Ben reached the basement and Rey did her best not to laugh. The ceiling was even lower than the top floor and Ben's head almost touched it. He had the lean forward a bit just to maneuver around.

Rey smiled at him and watched as he quickly made his way to the nearest bookshelves. They could have been there for two hours or twenty minutes, but Rey walked to the table with a stack of books. Ben was already sitting at the table with three books in front of him and one in his hand. Finn was sitting on his couch with one book, flipping through it. Rey sat at the table across from Ben and put her books down. He didn't look up from his book, something she had witnessed once before.

She found an old copy of Les Miserables. It was a huge book and a tough read. Richard was selling it for one dollar, so she thought she would give it a chance. She loved the musical, after all.

She got through the first ten pages before looking up from the black and white. When she did, she connected eyes with Ben. He was staring at her while she read. His eyes were intense and alluring. She would usually look away but something about his eyes made her hold contact. It was probably only seconds but it felt like they stared into each others eyes for hours.

"Is it good?" he whispered, breaking the silence between them.

She tried to pull herself away from the daze, feeling drunk from the electricity flowing between them. "I know it will be... the beginning is just a little slow. But I don't give up easily."

"Good," he replied with a grin. "Neither do I."

She knew that had a different meaning and went into an internal war of what it could have meant. She blushed while thinking about it and looked down at her book. When she peeked back up, Ben had gone back to his own reading. She couldn't even focus on her book. The words became a blur as she tried to shake off their short conversation. Even she had to admit it made her heart melt a bit.

"Guys, I got to get going. I'm sorry," Finn said, looking at his phone.

Rey wasn't even close to being ready to leave. She wanted to stay at that table forever, exchanging glances. She knew, though, that Finn was uncomfortable for whatever reason. She doubted he actually had a valid excuse as to why he wanted to go. Ben just nodded and picked up his books. Rey began to pick up hers too because she had every intent of buying them all. Ben reached across the table and took them out of her hand. With a smirk he added them to his pile and walked towards the basement stairs.

Rey followed with only a smile.

When they reached the register he insisted on buying them for her. He said they were only a few dollars each and he wanted to repay her for the drive-in.

"Why do you have to repay me for the drive-in?" she whispered, not wanting Finn to hear. "You paid for that too."

"Yeah but I made an ass of myself," He answered with a laugh. He handed Richard a crisp twenty dollar bill and got much of it back.

Rey sighed and gave up. "Thank you, but I'll get you back for this another time."

He carried their books outside and they all walked to Ben's car. Finn got in himself and Ben walked to open to door for Rey. She brushed past him to get in, his cologne surrounding her. She sat in the seat and tried to catch her breath.

They drove back towards the school in silence, mostly because Rey took out her book to distract herself. She had so much she wanted to ask Ben. She had even rehearsed how she would ask those questions and in what order. But for some reason, she couldn't ask any of them. Finn was making her feel very aware of how she acted.

They reached the school quickly and Finn couldn't wait to get out of the car. Rey gathered her books and reached for the handle when Ben put his hand on her forearm. She looked back at him and he cleared his throat. "Can I see you again this week?"

She wanted to see him. She wished she could stay with him for the rest of the day, and the next and the next. "Sure. Text me."

He smiled, "Thank you, I had fun."

"Me too," Rey replied, her lips mirroring his own. She wanted to say more but couldn't think of anything, "I'll see you."

* * *

"You seem really comfortable with this guy," Finn said after driving for a while.

Rey sighed, looking out the window. She didn't want to argue with him, so she opted for silence and hoped he dropped it.

"So... do you like him or something?" he asked bluntly. She was fool to think he would let it go.

Rey looked at him surprised. "Finn, that's awfully bold of you."

"Aren't friends allowed to be bold? I mean, you told me you met him in a library and went against your shy nature to be his friend. But... the way you two acted was not how two friends act. You can't blame me for asking when I felt like a third wheel at the book store."

"If we were acting weird it was because you were making it weird," she spat back, her irritation sneaking out of her.

"I'm trying to tell you that you might be a little too trusting of this guy. I mean, he is 21 for god's sake. Why is a 21 year old talking to an 18 year old. Isn't that a little strange?"

"No, I don't think so at all."

He sighed. "Don't get upset, I just care about you is all. I don't want you to get hurt."

Rey couldn't take it anymore. "Finn, you are my very best friend but you aren't my father. I'm friends with Ben because he makes me comfortable and we have things in common just like you and me. I'm upset because you're treating me like I don't know right from wrong, like I'm some stupid little girl."

"Rey," Finn sighed. "You cannot deny that you can be naive sometimes. You tend to think life is like a movie but it's not true. Real life is a lot more disappointing. He may seem nice now, but he could be a psychopath for all you know."

Rey could only gawk at him in disbelief. She could not understand how someone who has been her best friend all her life, could judge her so severely. She looked out the window and decided she didn't want to be in the car anymore. "Please pull over."

"What?"

"I said pull over, I want to walk home."

"Rey, I'm not going to let you walk home-"

She glared at him. "Pull over right now or I will jump out."

He sighed in defeat and pulled the car to the side of the road. She grabbed all her books, got out of the car and slammed the door as hard as she could. Finn sped away, leaving her on the side of the street alone.

She looked up at the sky and sighed, she would have to sleep for a week to recover from this.

They never fought. It's something that just did not happen. The entire way home she tried to understand why he was acting the way he was. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong. Yes she almost kissed a total stranger on a weird friend date. People do much, much more than that. So why was he making her feel guilty?

She shrugged it off, not having enough energy to try and figure it out. She walked the rest of the way home, thankful for some silence. When she got home, she kissed her father hello and went straight into her room.

She couldn't get in her pajamas and turn her record player on fast enough. Billie Holiday sang of gloomy Sundays as Rey climbed under her covers. Nothing was better than getting into bed after a long and socially exhausting day.

A buzzing noise broke her bliss. Her phone was plugged it for charging across the room. She contemplated just leaving it until the morning. It was probably Finn apologizing.

After her curiosity could stand it no longer, she kicked her blankets off and walked over to her phone.

 _Hey, you up?_

* * *

 _ **I am having waaay too much fun writing this story.**_

 _ **Comment your opinions or suggestions!**_

 _ **-O**_


	8. Chapter 7

**"I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be seeing you" -Billie Holiday**

* * *

Ben walked into his parents house with his hands full of groceries. His mother was thrilled to see him, as she always was. She asked him to pick her up a few things from their local grocery store. He was certain it was just so she could see him. He had been busy with classes and hadn't seen her in a while.

"Hello, darling," she smiled, taking some groceries from him. "Bring them right in the kitchen. Thank you so much for getting this stuff for me."

Ben placed the bags on the marble counter top. "It's no problem. Sorry I came later than expected. I was busy."

She smirked deviously, like a child who got into the cookie jar before dinner. He could never fool his mother. Not when he was ten and certainly not when he is twenty one. "Did you go see her?"

He sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "I hardly see you, so how the hell do you know so much about my social life?"

She laughed, clasping her hands together. Her eyes lit up at the prospect of sweet gossip in her son's life. "So you _did_ see her? How wonderful. She is a special girl, Ben. I have a sense about it."

"Don't avoid the question, mother."

"Oh let me have some fun in my old age," she retorted while putting some of the groceries away. "I'm not used to my son showing an interest in anything other than the keys on a piano."

Ben agreed with her, but was embarrassed to admit it out loud. Nothing had ever grabbed his attention like Rey. He blushed at the thought of her beautiful brown eyes.

"Oh my lord, you are blushing!" his mother yelled, pointing to his cheeks. "Have I ever seen you blush? I don't think I have! You are so adorable!"

He playfully slapped her hands away when she tried to pinch his face. "Will you leave me alone? And _please_ stop interfering. I know you sent her to listen to me play."

His mother shrugged, trying to look innocent. "You wouldn't have told her. You're too modest. If she was going to get close to you, she had to hear you play. Music is half of you, son, it always has been."

"Still, a little warning would have been nice," he protested.

"Where is the romance in that?" she scoffed. "Get with the program. With a special girl like Rey, you need to romance her. You know she has some plans in the musical theater right?"

That perked Ben's interest. He sat on a counter and couldn't stop the questions from popping out of his mouth. "She wants to perform? Is she any good?"

His mother flashed another mischievous smile. "You'll have to ask her and find out."

He rolled his eyes. "Well if there is nothing else you need from me, I have some studying and reading to catch up on."

"Alright I won't talk about her anymore. Just know that I'm here if you need advice. And I _know_ you will need advice in the future."

He sighed. "Okay, mother."

"Want to stay for dinner? Your father is bringing home crab legs," she said while sticking her head in the pantry.

The thought of seeing his father made him uneasy. He didn't want to say no to his mother but his father always had a way of instigating conversation with far too much tension. "I really should study, mom. I have tests coming up."

She nodded, walking back towards her son. "Okay, okay. At least tell me how your music is going."

"I just play for me. That's what father wants, so..."

His mother tried to hide the painful look in her eye but Ben saw it, however brief it showed itself. She always wanted Ben to pursue his music. She was the one who suggested him learning. His father, however, wasn't too keen on the idea. He thought getting a sensible job was more important. Even at Ben's best, his father said there were better players making all the money money music. Ben knew it was true, still, he couldn't shake music from himself. It would be like chopping of his arm.

So Ben going through college to become a music teacher for grade schools. It wasn't his dream, but it was the most sensible way for him to keep music in his life.

"Just promise me you will keep playing," she said lowly.

He nodded, hugging her tightly, "I will."

When they parted he promised he would come for dinner soon. She waved him off as he drove away. He missed his mother. She was always understanding of her odd son, who hated being around people as soon as he could understand what they were saying. When he hid in his room to read or play the piano for hours instead of playing with the neighborhood kids, she would never judge him for it. His father was the neighborhood kid who climbed a tree and broke his arm by falling off it. Ben was the boy inside judging the boy for climbing the tree and being stupid enough to fall.

He pushed the thought away and drove to his apartment. It was a sad studio flat but it was the only one he could afford. He had saved up money while in high school to pay for it. It wasn't like he wanted to spend his money elsewhere. His father also agreed to help him if his future was sensible.

He drove past a video store and for some reason Rey's beautiful face popped into his mind. It wasn't unusual. She burrowing her way into his brain ever since he first laid eyes on her. Then he thought of what his mother said, how she wanted to be in theater.

So he turned around and drove into the movie store's parking lot. He walked inside and searched until he found a musical section. He took a deep breath. Musicals were not his forte. But he would try to understand anything and everything Rey was interested in.

He smiled when he saw 'Phantom of the Opera' and picked it up. He shrugged and walked to the cashier. He would watch this ridiculous movie and try to picture it through her eyes.

On his way home, he thought of her face that night at the movies. Her eyes were sparkling when she explained the beauty of musical numbers. Her hands were flying everywhere and she talked so fast. It was at that moment when Ben knew that somehow, she had to be a part of his life.

He thought of his desperation to touch her that night. He couldn't believe he dared to actually touch her hand and he _really_ couldn't believe she let him. He watched her as he did so and she looked so nervous. Still, she let him intertwine his fingers with her.

He wanted to kiss her, it's true. He's never wanted to kiss anyone like he wanted to kiss her. He made a fool of himself, but he had never wanted to actually touch another human being like he wanted to touch Rey.

She was the first person besides his mother that could actually hear him. She looked at him with meaning and curiosity, not just obligation. For some reason, he could talk to her about everything and anything. She was immediately trustworthy. Even in his memory, she was the most pure and poetic thing he had ever come across.

After the library he thought he could actually have a genuine friend for the first time in his life. But since that night at the drive-in, he knew he could never just be friends with her. There was too much of a pull between them. He wondered if she felt it too. He hoped she did.

When he got to his apartment he rushed to get ready for bed. He put his books on his small table and ran into the shower.

When he got out he dressed himself, grabbed the movie, his phone and sat down on his couch. He looked at the cover of the movie and winced. He had seen it before but made fun of it the whole time. He was determined to give it a fair chance.

He looked at his phone and smirked. She _did_ say to text her.

 _Hey, you up?_

He waited patiently, opening the video with care. He popped it in his DVD player and sat back in his couch. His phones notification ring made him grab his phone all too quickly.

 _Yeah what's up_

He picked up the DVD cover and snapped a picture of it. He sent it to her along with a text.

 _Thought I might as well give it another chance_.

He pressed play and waited for it to start. The music started very early on this movie and he kept telling himself it was nice. His phone buzzed a minute later.

 _Wait! Don't watch it without my commentary_!

He paused the movie quickly with a laugh. He was about to ask her over but realized it probably wasn't a good idea. If he was willing to kiss her in his car, he couldn't foresee what he would try to do in his apartment.

 _Your commentary?_

 _Yes! Start it over and give me ten minutes. I'll put in my copy and call you. Is that okay? Too weird?_

He couldn't believe what he was reading. The thought of being on the phone with anyone was beyond nerve-wracking. He avoided it at all times in his life. But the chance to hear her voice was something even he couldn't pass up.

 _No, it's not weird :)_

He regretted the smiley face as soon as he sent the text. It felt immature and a little forward. Still, he started the movie over and paused it. His hands were sweating.

He quickly stood up and grabbed a glass of cold water. He drank the entire thing and filled up another. His stomach growled and he remembered he hadn't eaten dinner. He had no time to make a sandwich so he just grabbed a bag of pretzels and shoved a bunch in his mouth.

His voice ringing almost made him choke. He swallowed the food in his mouth and ran to the couch. She was calling 'FaceTiming' him. He took a deep breath and wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. He was actually going to see her face.

"Hello?"

Her face popped up on his screen and he couldn't help but smile. Her face looked like it was freshly washed, her hair was up in a sloppy bun and he could see that she was in an over-sized sweatshirt. She looked positively beautiful and he wished she was in his apartment.

"I felt like 'FaceTiming' was easier than calling, somehow. Hearing a voice without seeing the persons face makes me nervous. Plus, I need to see your reactions."

He smirked. "This is fine, I've never actually video chatted with anyone before."

"Isn't it so exciting? You can see me in my pajamas."

They both laughed and he almost told her how beautiful she looked, but he held it back. He did not want to make the video chat uncomfortable.

"How can you watch one of my favorite musicals without me? Especially when you don't like musicals. I need to talk throughout the whole thing to persuade you to love it."

She was all worked up like she was before. Even in the fuzzy camera, her beautiful doe eyes were sparkling with excitement. "I'm sorry."

"Well as long as it doesn't happen again, I am willing to overlook it," she began.

Ben was ecstatic to hear her talking so comfortably. She seemed so on edge with her friend around, they hadn't really talked as much as he wanted to. Despite him trying to kiss her, they were comfortable at the drive-in. They seemed to fall right back into the easy conversation without issue.

"Now, before we begin this incredible movie, let me give you some insight. First off, Gerard Butler, who plays the Phantom, had no musical experience before this movie. He just sort of winged it and made the Phantom's character have this rocky edgy-type feeling. Emmy Rossum, who is everything I aspire to be in life, was only sixteen when shooting this movie. Let that sink in for a moment, she had to get permission from her mother to kiss the men in this film," she continued. Ben responded with appropriate 'wow's and 'cool's throughout her pitch.

"So is this your favorite musical, then?" Ben asked.

She thought for a moment, seeming very perplexed by the question. "That's a very difficult thing for me to answer. It was the first musical film I watched. It's what got me hooked onto this beautiful genre. So yes, you could say it is my favorite. It has the most sentimental value for me."

He nodded and smiled at her expressions. She was talking the same way he used to about pianists and classical numbers.

"So on the count of three we are both going to press play and pretend, if you will, that you are watching this for the first time."

"Will do," Ben replied confidently.

They counted down and both pressed play. The movie began as he remembered it did, with the auction at the beginning and a decrepit old man singing in a wheelchair.

He held onto the phone and peeked at her expression a couple times. She was focusing on the movie, already becoming a part of the scenes. As quietly as he could, he opened the bag of pretzels and popped one in his mouth.

"What are you eating?" she asked. She was looking at him now, curious.

"Pretzels," he answered, his mouth full of them.

She sighed, shaking her head slightly. "Pretzels?"

He laughed. "Why did you say it like that?"

"Are they at least cheese flavored?"

He swallowed what was in his mouth. "No, they're salt flavored."

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Oh my goodness, get yourself some Doritos or at least cheese pretzels."

He laughed at her and they continued to watch the movie. She indeed, talked throughout the whole thing. She would tell him to really pay attention to Christine's facial expression, or would make him agree that the lyrics were beautiful. He did think that the music was nice. Giving it a fair chance, he could see how someone would fall in love with it. He loved her rants much more and was incredibly happy to hear her voice.

When the main song came on and Christine disappeared behind the mirror, he could almost feel Rey jumping in her seat. Her head bounced on his phone screen, she could barely contain herself. "Look at him! Okay notice how the hallway is all nice and sort of weird, well people debated whether he drugged her. Which in the original story, I think he did. But I'm going to think his music put her in some sort of trance. I mean, you have that beauty singing to you, you are going to feel a bit drugged."

"You can't even see his whole face."

"That's the beauty of it. The mystery. This movie is great. Tell me you love it," she demanded.

Ben smiled when he looked at her determined expression. "I love it."

After the lair scene, Ben's curiosity couldn't take another second of not knowing. "So since you love musicals so much, why not be in one?"

She was quiet for a minute, pulling herself from the movie. "Well, I am actually trying."

"Really?" he asked, "Have you been in any yet?"

"No, mostly because I am so chicken. I didn't audition for the play last year but I am forcing myself this year. It's for West Side Story."

"I've never actually seen that, but I bet you're perfect for it. You'd be perfect for any role," he blushed as he complimented her. He wasn't used to giving people compliments.

"You're killing me. How have you never seen it?"

"Well I blame my upbringing."

She laughed. It was light and absolutely beautiful. "That is no excuse. We are going to have to have a musical marathon."

"I would like that very much." He cleared his throat. "I'd love to hear you perform."

"I would be too nervous."

"Why? I performed in front of you."

"Yeah but that's different," she whined. "You're such a good musician. If I knew you were watching me, I would mess it all up."

He blushed at her compliment. "It would be good practice for you, seeing as how you will have to perform in front of a whole school."

"You're right, maybe someday," She chuckled. "Now this next scene is great because it's leading up to my favorite part. The rooftop scene."

He hoped someday would be soon. He tried to imagine what she would look like on a stage. He could tell her singing would sweep him off his feet.

He was determined to hear it.

* * *

 **You're comments and reviews are so incredibly encouraging! Shout out to _TotesMagotes_ for you're beautiful long comment! It made my DAY! Also sorry for updating so late at night! Forgive me!**

 **This story is a slow progression one, but I'm having so much fun writing it. That hasn't happened to me in a long time. I have up to Chapter 18 written so far, and counting. So next chapter will be up Monday!**

 **Much love!**

 **-O**


	9. Chapter 8

_"You'll lose the blues and you may lose you're heart."_

* * *

Christine Daae was an incredibly young woman who had two paths before her. One was a darker, unfamiliar path that was filled with uncertainty and mystery. The other was a light path, full of familiarity, warmth and safety. The darker one called to her and sang lullabies in her ear. In the end, however, she followed the light path. It was the sensible and safe direction.

In a less dramatic way, Rey felt like there was two paths in front of her as well. On one path, she saw Finn, who was her closest friend. The lighter path was more familiar, and it shielded her from the harsh reality of the world. The other, however, led to Ben. It was path shrouded by mystery but enticing with its promises of new discoveries.

As she remained laying in her bed throughout most of the morning, she couldn't deny that Ben was singing lullabies in her ears. After all, she had watched that very movie, Phantom of the Opera, with him on her phone just the night before.

They talked as if nothing uncomfortable had ever happened between them. She felt like maybe they met in another life, some distance souls that had barged into one another's lives again. How else could she feel such a sense of familiarity?

She could lie to herself and say she only wished to remain friends. That every time he was around, her fingers wouldn't tingle with the temptation to touch him. She begged her heart not to get so emotional, but Rey had watched lovers on the screen far too many times to deny herself. The butterflies in her stomach were intoxicating.

She knew as soon as he was near her, her wishes for friendship would fly out of her head. All she will see is his handsome face, broad shoulders and passions.

As she showered, she thought of ways to apologize to Finn. Even though she felt she deserved an apology first, she could be the bigger person. He was only being a loyal friend and she should appreciate that.

When she wandered downstairs and saw her father drinking coffee at the kitchen table. When he saw her appear in the doorway, he smiled lovingly. "Good morning, love."

"Morning. Is there anymore coffee?" Rey asked.

Luke nodded and stood up from his chair. "Yes, I will pour you a cup. Sit, would you like some breakfast?"

"No, I'm alright," she insisted. Instead, she grabbed a protein bar from the cupboard. "I just want something light."

Luke passed her a mug of coffee and seated himself across from her at the table. "Hey, I was thinking... would you like to go to a ballet?"

Rey looked at him, surprised. "A ballet? You? I'm shocked."

He laughed lightly. "Yes, well, we never do anything together and a ballet is coming to town. It's some fairy tale, I think Snow White."

Rey smiled at him, grateful to have a father who indulges her. "That would be lovely, thank you. Hopefully you'll make it out alive and not die of boredom."

He shrugged. "If I could survive all the ballets your mother forced me to attend, I think I can live through one more. It's in a couple weeks, so I will buy us some tickets. Shall I ask Finn?"

She sighed, blowing on her coffee. The smell was relaxing even if her thoughts were not. "I am not sure about that. We got into a fight yesterday."

"You and Finn?" he asked, shocked. Finn and Rey never fought. It just wasn't something that happened.

"Yeah..."

"About what?"

She took a deep breath, it was about time her father knew anyway. "Well do you remember that boy I told you about? The one I met in the library?"

Luke nodded.

"Finn and I were supposed to go to a bookstore, but Ben showed up at my school. He wanted to hang out with me so I told him to go to the bookstore with us. Apparently, Finn didn't appreciate that. He acted completely weird and made the whole thing awkward. He says that Ben wants to be more then friends and he doesn't trust him."

Luke took a sip of his coffee, ever patient. "Well, how do you feel?"

She bit her lip and thought for a second. "The truth is, I've never been able to talk to someone comfortably besides Finn. You know how hard it is for me and that has stopped me from having a lot of friends. I can actually talk to Ben and not feel like I'm suffocating. And Finn has always been patient with me but sometimes I feel like it's more out of obligation. Ben seems _interested_ in me and he is so interesting _to_ me. Finn got really upset and I yelled at him. I even made him pull over so I could get out of his car."

Rey waited for a reaction but Luke just smiled at his daughter. She was confused as he put his hand on hers. "Oh, my sweet girl... I knew this day would come."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ever since your mother passed, it's true that you have had a difficult time. Finn has been there for you through it all and you know he loves you out of more than just obligation. It's simply that Finn is used to having you to himself and this Ben character has threatened his friendship with you.

The mention of her mother tugged at her heart, but she did her best to hide it. "I am no good at drama in real life. I don't know what to do."

"Rey, you are a beautiful person inside and out. Your social anxieties have held you back from creating relationships with people. It was only a matter of time before you found someone who understood you. If Ben makes you happy then don't let a little jealousy get in the way of that. Does he make you happy?"

Rey smiled lovingly at her father. "Yes, he is a really nice guy."

Luke smiled back at her. "Then don't let him go and don't let your insecurities stop you either."

Rey kissed her father's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you more."

* * *

Luke watched his daughter skip out of house, still sipping on his coffee. He knew it would happen eventually. Some boy would come and sweep her off her feet, turning her life into a musical.

It reminded him of his wife and how the two fell so deeply in love he was sure the angels were jealous. They were two fools. He couldn't stand being away from her for more than a day. It was the kind of love that lasted even when one was gone.

Luke pushed the thoughts away and took another sip of his coffee.

When his wife passed away, Rey was only twelve years old. Before her death, Rey was a very outgoing child. She would talk to a tree if it talked back to her. She was an incredibly optimistic child who saw light in everything.

After her mother's death, though, something happened to Rey. She closed up and wouldn't talk for months. Little Finn would visit their house and just to sit next to her. He would talk to her but she couldn't speak back.

Luke did everything he could. He took her to counseling, a therapist and even tried medication. The truth was, when her mother left, she took a part of Rey with her. It broke his heart to see his beautiful daughter lock herself away.

As Rey grew, she got better. She began talking to Finn but almost forgot how to socialize. She couldn't handle meeting new people and would sometimes have panic attacks at social gatherings.

She has grown much since then. Her love for music has helped her branch out.

Still, even he could notice that she had been incredibly happy the past few days. Something in her eyes was lighter and a weight seemed to be lifting off her shoulders.

Luke took another sip of his coffee, a small smile on his face.

* * *

Rey knocked on Finn's door with determination in her eye. She would make sure they were on good terms by the time she left. She wouldn't take no for an answer.

The door swung open and his mother stood before her. She was an elegant woman, tall and stunning. Everything she did was graceful. When Rey was younger, she thought Finn's mother was a queen at one time. She creates this whole story that she was kidnapped and Finn's father rescued her. Then, she fell so deeply in love, she left her lofty throne to live in the suburbs.

"Hello, Rey. What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Hello. Is Finn home?"

"I'm sorry, he isn't. He is at Poe's."

Rey sighed. She hated Poe. But Rey was determined. She thanked Finn's mother and ran back towards her house. She ran back inside to the kitchen and asked to borrow her father's truck. When she got the keys, she raced to get on the road.

She wasn't going to end the day with Finn and her being at odds. Even if that meant going to Poe's house. She shuddered at the very thought.

She sped down the busy roads, trying to get there as soon as possible. She thought that the faster she got there, the sooner it would be over. It also limited her ability to turn around and run.

Poe had a large house and his parents were never home. It was a typical rich kid scenario. Except instead of a hurt neglected child, Poe is a ridiculous douche bag.

She pulled into his driveway and wanted to cry. There were kids all outside his house. She cursed herself, resting her forehead on the steering wheel. Anxiety crawled up her arms, prickling her skin. She could just as easily talk to Finn tomorrow.

She sat up and took a deep breath. If she wanted Finn to treat her like an adult, she would have to act like one. That meant not running away in the face of social interactions.

Without thinking, she jumped out of the truck. Her legs felt like jello as she walked towards the house. The kids outside looked at her but she ignored them the best she could.

She swung open the front door and the faces of about thirty people looked at her. Immediately, her face burnt red with embarrassment. She kept her focus, and looked through the people for Finn. When she didn't see him, she stomped out of the large sitting room and into the kitchen.

When Finn couldn't be found there, she quickly checked out back. She was shocked to see people in Poe's pool. It was autumn!

She walked back inside, all the while trying to understand the average teenage brain. She stomped her way upstairs and was going to check every single room. She imagined herself a warrior on a mission. She couldn't fail just because a few monsters might be lurking behind each door. She prepared herself for what she would see behind each door so she wouldn't be shocked.

She walked in on three different couples making out in three different room. When she reached the last one she didn't think her anxiety could take it. Still, she wanted to find Finn. She had come so far, she wasn't going to stop now. So she took a deep breath and swung the door opened.

Nothing in the world would have prepared her for what she saw inside the bedroom. All she could see was flashes of Finn on top of Poe. She immediately screamed and slammed the door.

She froze in shock for a moment and then took off running as fast as she could. She almost fell down the stairs and but didn't even see the people around her. She escaped the house and in a flash, grew closer and closer to her truck. She would drive away from town or perhaps leave the state all together. She would simply run away and never return.

Before she could touch her door handle, she felt a hand grab her arm. Finn spun her around and she couldn't even look him in the eye. She shuddered a apology, that she should have knocked.

"No, stop. Just stop talking and let me talk, okay?" he insisted.

The idea seemed fine to her and she kept her eyes glued on her hands.

"I need you to look at me, Rey."

Rey bit her lip and connected eyes with Finn. He seemed fearful and extremely embarrassed. She was happy she wasn't the only one.

"It's not a big deal, okay? I... I'm bisexual."

Rey nodded quickly to try and look like she wasn't completely shocked. "I figured... I'm sorry I-"

"Do not apologize. Please. I should have told you... I just... I haven't even told my parents."

She realized she outed him and her guilt almost devoured her. "I didn't mean to make you tell me. I... I'll forget what I saw and we can pretend-"

"Don't be absurd," he interrupted. "I'm glad you know. I feel so much better. I wanted to tell you so many times but I just didn't know how."

She had to ask the question that was burning in her brain. "So are you... are you dating Poe?"

He chuckled and she was relieved he wasn't offended. "I know how much you hate him. No we're not dating. It's just a casual thing."

"Okay well I'm glad you're happy and doing what makes you happy. I came here to apologize for our fight yesterday. I love you a lot and we never fight so it has been a strange experience for me. So I'm sorry for being a jerk. But I also want to tell you that I really like Ben. He is a nice guy who listens to me and I can actually talk to. I don't want you to think that I'm being naive but... I never had this kind of experience so maybe I am being naive-"

"Rey, stop nervous talking," he interrupted, putting his hands on both of her shoulders.

She took a deep breath and made eye contact. "I'm sorry I just found out you are bisexual and I don't know what to do with that information."

He laughed. "It's okay. I know it's probably shocking for you. But listen, I am the one who should apologize. To be completely honest, I was very jealous of the two of you. You've known him for like a week and I felt like you were closer to him then to me. I was being immature and stupid. I want you to be happy in everything you do and of course, I want you to be friends with Ben. I'm proud of you for reaching out and fighting against your anxieties. I was just being an idiot."

She responded with a hug. He squeezed her tightly and Rey whispered to forget apologies. She just wanted them to never fight again.

When they parted, Rey smiled weakly. "You can _do_ so much better than Poe."

For a brief moment, he looked down at her lips with a smile. "I know, but he will do for now."

* * *

 **First off, thank you so much for you're reviews! They were so sweet and endearing!**

 **Secondly, oh snap! Early posted this chapter because I am impatient! Yes, I ship Poe and Finn. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. This is my first time writing a bisexual character. So if I said anything wrong of offensive please let me know! Let me know what you think!**

 **Also, I just watched Bonnie and Clyde for the first time and I'm kind of obsessed with their story? How awesome would Ben and Rey be as criminals? *Swoon***

 **Comments are appreciated!**

- ** _ **O**_**


	10. Chapter 9

**Let's get out of this town baby we're on fire.**

* * *

Ben touched the keys tenderly, closing his eyes as he pressed down on each one. He had practiced the musical score all day long. He had composed it quick enough, now he had to feel it. The melody played in his ears, soothing and gentle.

Life was always simple when he played the piano. It gave him confidence that faded as soon as he left the black and white keys. He wished he could hear Rey sing along with the notes he was playing. He could only imagine how wonderful that would be.

He loved the stillness in the auditorium. It was an enormous room, and the notes he played filled the entire atmosphere. So much so, that he felt like he was surrounded by the music. It was as if the notes tattooed themselves on his skin, marking him in a thrilling way.

It was one of her favorite songs from the movie. It was passionate and pleading. He could understand the appeal now. It was something he would have never seen if it wasn't for her.

He could see her playing Christine on stage, singing with emotion and longing. For a brief moment, he saw himself in an orchestra, playing piano along with her. The dream crushed a part of him, knowing it could never be a reality. She will go on to do great things, while he will be a music teacher.

He was picking her up later on, after she got out of school. She was late and had to stay in detention again. He smiled at the thought of her sitting in the library alone, reading books as happy as ever. His mother was probably in her glory, thinking of ways to make them be together.

He offered to pick her up and take her for coffee. He wanted to show her what he was playing. More importantly, he wanted her to sing for him. When the song ended, he looked at his watch. He would arrive a little early for good faith. He did _not_ want to miss her.

Sitting outside her school, he saw kids standing around and talking. It must be a high school thing, because people practically run out of classes at college. Anything to get home and out of school. High school kids do anything to hang around each other. At least, most of them do. He was never like that.

When he saw her walk outside, his entire body shook to life. She was so beautiful, it surprised him every time. Her short brunette hair was curled slightly. She had a strong brow and serious eyes. She was looking for him.

He got out of his car and stood, waving his hand. She smiled when she saw him and ran towards him. It was a wonderful thing and he wished he could just kiss her. He swallowed the feeling away and walked to open her door.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Good to see you," Ben replied.

She thanked him for opening her door and ducked inside. When he got in, the smell of her freshly washed hair was intoxicating. He fought the urge to reach and touch a strand of it. He started his car and sped away from the school, driving towards downtown.

"How was detention?" he asked with a smirk.

She sighed, "Well, Mr. Rory has a personal vendetta against me, but it was alright. He wouldn't let me go to the library, so that was dumb. Thankfully, I brought a book with me so I could still read."

"What book?"

"Les Miserables. I'm trying to get through it still. There are some beautiful lines in it, but I'm still reading from the priests viewpoint. It's interesting, though."

"You'll have to let me borrow it when you finish."

She grinned, seeming happy at his statement. "Will do."

"So, is there any place you are particular to? I'm pretty hungry."

She thought for a moment. "I can go for a burger."

"I know the perfect place."

They never road in silence, it seemed. She asked him what he did before he picked her up, how his mother was, how his school was. He asked her how her audition was going and she told him it was in a month.

"I'm scared out of my wits. The closer it comes, the more my anxiety builds," she confessed.

"You'll be brilliant," he reassured, "you can always practice with me."

She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "So tell me how _your_ music is going? Are you going to try to get into an orchestra or a band?"

Ben hid the tinge of sadness he felt. "Well, my father doesn't think it would be a sensible career. It makes sense, there are many good piano players already. I'm nothing special. So I'm going to try and be a music teacher."

Rey's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "I have listened to a lot of people play piano, but nothing was like when I listened to you."

He blushed and didn't know what to say.

"Of course you are special. Anyone who can evoke emotion in people are special, it's as simple as that. I think the world would suffer from not having your talent in it."

"I don't think so. I think it's just a hobby for me."

She crossed her arms in defiance. "How do you feel when you play?"

He thought of how to put it into words. No one ever asked him that question before. "I feel... complete, I guess. Things are simple and easy."

"That means it is more than just a hobby or pipe dream. I firmly believe there are some things people were destined for. I think your destiny is sitting behind that piano and playing," she said firmly. "And I only heard you play once!"

He shook his head. "You're making me blush."

She chuckled, flashing her white teeth. "Well I apologize for that."

They arrived at the Burger Shack, a small hole in the wall Ben discovered one afternoon. Their burgers were greasy but the french fries were legendary. As they walked inside, he glanced at her quickly. She was so small next to him, but he liked walking with her.

When they got inside, Ben asked her if she could find a table. She told him what she wanted and tried to hand him a ten dollar bill. He made a face and refused to take it. She pouted but went to find a table. He ordered the burgers with fries and waited until the order was done.

The place was packed as usual, but when he peeked around the corner he saw she grabbed a table in the back. When the order was up, he grabbed it and walked towards her. She took her burger and devoured it, savoring each bite. He watched with amusement.

"These french fries!" she exclaimed, "They are amazing!"

"I know, right?" he laughed, "I found it one afternoon while searching for my mother's pharmacy. I come here a lot."

She moaned, taking another bite of her burger. Ben blushed and cleared his throat, averting his eyes.

"I have something I want to show you, after," Ben stated.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What?"

"You have to wait to find out."

"How cruel!" she teased, "You have to tell me!"

He shook his head defiantly. "Not a chance. Enjoy your burger."

She rolled her eyes with a smirk and took another bite of her burger. He noticed a spot of ketchup on the corner of her mouth. Without thinking, he reached his hand over and wiped it with his thumb. She stopped eating when his skin touched hers. Like before, his skin grew hot and tingly. He wished he could hold her face in both his hands, feeling the warmth of her blush. He let his finger remain next to her lip for a moment and then, coming back to reality, dropped it with a blush. She averted her eyes with a smile and took another bite of her burger.

He was impressed when she finished every bite of her meal. He did too, of course. She sat back in the chair in defeat, her hand resting on her stomach.

She cleared her throat. "So if you could do anything with your music, what would it be?"

"Hm," he thought for a moment. "I would love to be in a orchestra, for musical scores or movie scores. I always wanted to compose my own music, too."

Her smile was enormous. "That's beautiful. I think you should do it anyway."

"You don't know my father, " he rolled his eyes. "He can be intense."

"What about your mother?"

"She always supported me. She's the one who insisted I get lessons. For some reason she doesn't want me letting go of my music. She brings it up almost every time she see's me."

She tapped her chin. "That's interesting. You should ask her about it."

"Yeah, maybe I will," he grinned. "Ready to go?"

"Can I finally see what you want to show me?"

"Yes you can."

"Then what are we waiting for?" she cheered, standing from the table.

When they arrived at the college, she turned to him with an amusing sparkle in her eyes. She didn't say a word as they both walked inside. He was sure a part of her was thinking he would play for her. What she didn't know is that he would insist that she sings along. The very thought thrilled him to his fingertips.

Once inside the auditorium, he walked her onto the stage. He ran backstage and wheeled out the piano. Once it was center stage, he pulled up a nearby bench.

"Are you going to play?" She was ecstatic, jumping in her place.

He nodded but smiled deviously. "On one condition."

She dropped her hands in realization of what he might say.

"You have to sing along."

"What if I don't know the song?" she asked, in a foolish attempt to escape her fate.

"Oh no, you know this one."

She began to bit her fingers. "I can't!"

He made a face. "How can you perform in front of strangers if you can't perform in front of me?"

"It's different with strangers."

"That doesn't make any sense."

She sighed in defeat. "Okay, okay. I'll do it but I can't face you. And don't be surprised, I am not that great. I haven't even gotten training. I just sing in my room."

"Are you ready?" he asked, his fingers aching to press down on the keys.

She took a deep breath and nodded with her eyes closed. She walked beside the piano, facing the empty audience and tied her hands behind her back. He could tell her was very nervous, but began to play anyway. Once the notes hit her ears, she turned around to him with a big smile. She couldn't believe what he was playing and watched with wide eyes.

"You're incredible!" she yelled over the melody, "Did you love the movie, then?"

He nodded. "I loved it."

She clasped her hands together as if overcome with great emotion. He couldn't stop smiling as he played the melody. As her cue came up, he eyed her. She took a deep breath, turned back towards the empty seats and opened her mouth to sing.

" _Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye_ ," she sang.

Ben's mouth hung open as Rey continued to sing. He was thankful she wasn't facing him so she didn't see the goofy look on his face. She was greater than even _he_ expected. She sang with the same innocence as Christine, her emotions showing clearly.

" _Remember me, once in a while. Please, promise me you'll try. When you find that once again you long, to take your heart back and be free. If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me_."

He couldn't stop staring at her. She was magnificent and stayed on time for each note he played. He had never played along with someone singing, never knew what that felt like. The pianist and singer have to have some sort of connection or understanding. They have to know each other and walk down the same path of rhythm. Though they only knew each other for a short time, he seemed to know her thoroughly.

The two played together and it was as if magic was born. Ben could see real sparks and electricity bouncing between them. He wondered if she felt it too.

" _Recall those days, look back on all those times. Think of the tings we'll never do, there will never a day when I won't think of you_."

She turned, listening to him play the melody of Raoul's part. Ben couldn't sing to save his life and didn't even attempt it. But he focused on the keys and played it the best he could. He connected eyes with Rey and she seemed like she was about to cry. Whether that was a good thing or not, he didn't know.

" _We never said, 'our love was evergreen' or 'as unchanging as the sea'. But please promise that sometimes you will think..._ "

He watched in amazement as she mimicked Emmy Rossum perfectly, hitching her voice to match each note.

"... _of me!_ " she sang, her voice echoing in the auditorium.

Ben played out the last notes and they both stood frozen, staring at each other. Rey started laughing as tears fell down her face. Ben stood, laughing too, and couldn't stop himself from wrapping her in his arms. Her face buried in his chest and he held her tightly. He had never felt so connection to another human being, never so moved.

He was completely taken with her.

When he pulled back but still kept his arms around her. She frantically wiped her tears and he helped, wiping her cheeks softly.

"You are brilliant," he whispered, looking directly in her eyes.

"Really?" she asked, tears still falling from the rich russet color.

He nodded and couldn't help but look down at her lips. "You are going to make history."

She smiled through her tears and he wiped them again. "The way you play... Ben... it's..."

"I'm a fools monkey compared to you. You _have_ to audition for your high school play, to hell with anxiety. You have to pursue this. It is meant for you."

She hugged him again, wrapping her arms around his torso. His heart was beating so hard, he was sure she could feel it. She was warm, heating his entire body. He wanted to kiss her, he felt it in his bones. She pulled away and looked up at him, as if sensing his thoughts.

He placed both of his hands on her cheeks, his long fingers lacing in her hair. He was looking at her intensely, his breathing uneven. He swallowed hard. "Can I kiss you?"

Her eyes softened and she looked down at his lips, as if in defeat. She nodded, parting her lips slightly.

His heart jumped for joy and in a gentle movement, he placed his lips on hers.

* * *

OH SNAP! I've been wanting them to kiss for so long you have no idea. I honestly, could not wait any longer.

Comment your thoughts and feels pahleeaaaseee!

 _-O_


	11. Chapter 10

All I know is darling, is I was made for loving you.

* * *

Rey prayed for the moment to never end. She wanted to feel his soft, warm lips against her own forgery. It was her first kiss. The first time anyone wanted her lips like he did. Movies and songs could never put the feeling into words.

It was a kiss that she knew she would remember for the rest of her life.

He tilted his head, parting her lips. His tongue slid in her mouth and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. In that moment, she heard music in her head, felt warmth in her stomach and excitement in her heart. He was so strong and she felt as if she collapsed in his hands.

He pulled away and she followed his lips for more. She wanted to kiss him again and forever. Hunger was on her tongue. She wanted more of him.

He pressed his forehead against hers and smiled weakly.

"Wow," Rey breathed. "I hope my breath smells good."

A light laughed escaped his lips. "It does."

"Okay, good," she whispered.

He kissed her lips one more time, less passionate than the first. Still, she searched for more. She thought briefly of the steamy dream she had with him. It didn't even come close to what his real lips felt like. Nothing ever would.

She opened her mouth to say something but suddenly, all the lights turned off in the auditorium. It was so dark she couldn't even see Ben, who was inches from her face.

"Oh, shit," Ben mumbled.

"What happened?" Rey was trying not to panic but her voice cracked, so she wasn't very convincing.

"They're locking the school down, we have to go."

He turned his phone's flashlight on and grabbed her hand. He ran quickly out off the stage, out of the auditorium and down the hallway. The entire place was abandoned. Ben yelled for someone, anyone that could possibly be locking them inside his college.

He ran, pulling Rey along with him, into the entrance hall. Standing near the doors was a short janitor.

"Snoke!" Ben screamed.

A janitor jumped when he saw them, "What are you doing here?"

"Sorry," Ben apologized, out of breath. "I lost track of time. We're leaving."

The janitor only glared at them. Rey avoided eye contact. He was an intense looking little man. He had scars all over his face and was as white as snow.

Janitor Snoke opened the exits for the two to escape. Once outside, the Autumn breeze blew between them both. Rey looked at Ben, who was already smiling. The moment they connected eyes, they burst into a fit of laughter. Rey couldn't believe the most romantic moment of her life was cut short by an intimidatingly short janitor.

Without a word, Ben grabbed Rey's hand and the two walked off into the parking lot. The two were still laughing and completely out of breath from running. It was the kind of whimsical happiness that Rey never thought she'd have in her life.

"He was scary," Rey couldn't help but say.

It made Ben breathe out another laugh. "Yeah I guess he had a rough life."

Rey appreciated how close they walked, their hands still locked together. It was as if the kiss had broken a barrier. The last wall of tension broke and she felt free, in a way.

She didn't know what that meant for them or what label it marked them with. She did know that she was happy. Happier than she could remember being in a long time.

A girl ridden with social anxieties and big dreams, managed to open up to a stranger and in a matter of weeks, adore him. The thought made a smile creep on her face. She was awkward with everyone but she knew from the beginning that Ben wasn't like everyone. He managed to shake her world and turn it upside down. She knew she never wanted that feeling to escape her.

Once inside his car, he drove away from the college slowly. The radio was on and his Johnny Cash CD was playing. They talked about different versions of his albums, the live recordings from prisons and how Joaquin Phoenix did a pretty good job of playing him.

He drove and drove with no real destination, as long as it wasn't her house. As long as it didn't end their perfect evening together.

The sun was setting and they found themselves on an old country road. They parked on the side of the street and looked on a breathtaking view. Ben grabbed his jacket from the car and put it around Rey's shoulders. She disappeared in the large jacket, the autumn breeze cooling as the sun set.

The view overlooked the city below, the lights from their town awake for the night. The sky was a watercolor masterpiece of orange, lilac and pink. She knew it would be one of the last good sunsets before winter.

Ben wrapped his arm around Rey and she leaned her head on his chest.

She was warm even though the temperature was dropping. His breathing was even, his body solid beneath her touch.

"What a view, huh?" he whispered.

She closed her eyes and inhaled the cologne on his shirt. "Best I've ever seen."

She felt him kiss her head softly then resting his cheek on her hair.

"I never want the sun to set," Rey said.

She felt a chuckle rumble in his chest. "It doesn't have to if we don't want it to."

She looked up at him with a grin. "Make sure it doesn't. I want the sky to be lilac forever."

He nodded, looking down at her with eyes full of emotion. "You can count on me, kid."

She laughed suddenly. "Are you trying to be Humphrey Bogart?"

His laughter chimed in with hers, the orange sun making his face glow. "I'm trying to organically and it's not working for me."

They laughed and held each other like two long lost lovers. And as much as they didn't want it to, the sun set behind the distance. Darkness grew around them and the two reluctantly got inside his car.

He drove in the direction of her house as slowly as possible. His hand rested on the armrest between them. Rey took it on her hands without hesitation, interlocking their fingers. It was like his fingers were designed perfectly to intertwine with her own.

"So what does all this mean?" Rey couldn't help but ask. "Like, you and me."

He took a deep breath. "Well... um, would you consider being... with me?"

She smirked. "Like be your girlfriend?"

He nodded.

She thought for a moment. "Okay."

He looked at her with so much happiness, her heart began beat faster. "Really?"

"Yes."

He squeezed her hand. "Well... thank you."

She couldn't help but laugh at him as he blushed fiercely. She kissed his hand quickly and then looked out the car window.

She watched the houses and cars pass them by. She was sure that none of them were as happy as she was in that moment.

"You know, I knew there was no way we could remain friends," she began.

"Yeah," he replied softly. "I liked you too much."

When he pulled in front of her house, they sat together for a moment. She didn't want to leave him and he didn't want her to leave him. She took a deep breath. "Thank you, for making me sing in front of you. And thank you a million times to playing for me, it made a world of difference."

He grinned. "No, thank you. I have never played with someone singing along. It was incredible."

"When can I see you again?" she asked, looking down at his lips. She wanted them already.

"Maybe we can go to Poor Richard's tomorrow after you get out of school? Or we can do something this weekend. I can see what is playing at the drive-in."

She nodded. "Okay. Text me whenever."

He looked down at her lips and leaned closer to her. His kiss was soft and full of meaning. She wanted more immediately but felt self conscious being outside her house. Still, she couldn't pull her lips away from him.

When he broke the kiss, his lips still lingered close to hers.

"I'll miss you," he breathed.

Rey bit her lip. "Me too."

They kissed once more before she pulled away and got out of his car. As soon as she got out, she wanted to go back. She jogged to her house and turned around before opening her front door. He waved, a small smile on his face. She waved back and walked inside.

When she closed the door, she could only lean against it with a sigh. She had a boyfriend. Rey Skywalker, notorious weirdo, had a boyfriend.

Her father was in the shower, getting ready for bed. So she escaped upstairs to her room. Once inside, she jumped on her bed. She rolled around for a good ten minutes, doing her best not to scream. All she wanted to do was jump and squeal and cry and laugh.

To know someone wants you, who craves for you companionship is too intoxicating to contain. She didn't want to think about anything going wrong. She just wanted to relish in the fact that she liked someone who liked her back.

* * *

"So where is Poe, today?" Rey asked, a sneaky look in her eye.

Finn rolled his eyes. "I don't know where he is. Like I said before, it's nothing serious."

"Can I just say one thing?"

"You're going to anyway."

"You know that I hate him already, but why Poe? Of all the people in the world, why him?"

Finn took a deep breath, taking a bite of his French fry. "I don't know exactly. I didn't really think about it."

The very concept of 'not thinking about it' was impossible to Rey. "You have to admit, he is a douche bag. Like, not even a douche bag. He's a douche canoe. He's even hit on me, a girl who can't even handle eye contact at times "

Finn chuckled and threw a piece of his French fry at Rey. "Hence, why I'm not expecting anything serious from him. It's just some fun, you know some people do that. You have a very pure view of life, but some people just hook up with no feelings."

"That's a lie," Rey protested while taking a sip of her orange juice. "People tell themselves that so they can cover up their feelings. No matter what the situation, when you make love, there are feelings involved."

"Oh my god, did you just say make love?"

"No, I don't think so," she sipped on her orange juice again and looked away from Finn.

"The fact that you just said 'make love', only proves that you're living inside a movie screen. Life isn't like musicals. People have detached sex."

Rey rolled her eyes. "I know people do. I'm not judging anyone, I'm just saying that there is always feelings involved. You probably like how Poe is such an asshole."

Finn laughed. "No, I don't like assholes. I like other stuff about him, though."

Rey looked at him with wide eyes.

"Not perverted stuff," Finn laughed as his friend blushed. "When I said other stuff I meant how he is passionate about planes and wants to be a pilot."

"He probably could buy a plane with his parents money."

Finn shook his head. "You still don't forgive him for accidentally groping you that one time?"

Rey put her drink down. " _Accidentally_? There was nothing accidental about him grabbing my breast."

Finn laughed lightly. "It's so easy to rile you up these days."

"Well I think you can do much better."

Finn smiled and took another bite of his cheeseburger.

The cafeteria was full of nonsensical chatter. Kids were throwing stuff, girls were sitting on their boyfriends lap. It was a huge mess, but it was the rare time Finn and Rey could see each other these days. Finn was always with Poe and Rey was always with Ben.

"So how is your friend, Ben?" Finn asked, looking at her suspiciously.

Rey cleared her throat. "He's good."

She hadn't told anyone about her dating Ben since he kissed her in his college. It had been a week since they began dating, and not telling Finn was killing her. But everytime she said she would, she chickened out. She would open her mouth to say it but nothing would come out.

The truth was, she had been seeing Ben almost every day for the past week. Her father thought she was with Finn and never even asked. They went to Poor Richard's, museums, libraries and dinner. Even thinking of him made Rey smile. She couldn't wait to see him every day after school.

"You okay?" Finn asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, all good."

"Your audition is in three days, are you excited?"

She hadn't thought of her audition as much as she was supposed to. Ben was distracting her. It was a good thing, she assumed. If he wasn't around, she would become overwhelmed with the thought of it all. Even Finn mentioning it made her skin prickle with anxiety.

"I know the routine by heart, it's just doing it. I want it to be over with so I can say I did it and gave it my all."

"You will be brilliant. I'll be there cheering you on."

She smiled weakly. "Thank you. I'm just so nervous."

"Well take deep breaths, because you are definitely going to get that part. You play the crap out of Maria."

They both laughed and groaned when the bell rung.

* * *

 **Alright then folks, there is the tenth chapter. It was so much fun to write. I am so sorry for forgetting to post Monday. I was in Boston with friends and totally forgot ! Thanks for you're patience and forgive my empty headedness**

 **I cannot wait to post her audition!**

 **As usual, comments and feedback are appreciated.**

 **-O**

 **P.s. Sorry Totes!**


	12. Chapter 11

xxx

" _People who love people are the luckiest people in the world_." - **Barbara Streisand**

* * *

Rey stood outside Ben's apartment, a ball of nerves. It was the first time she was going to his place. She wasn't nervous about seeing Ben, she didn't feel that way anymore. It was being alone with him near a bedroom.

They were always in public or traveling inside a car.

Even surrounded by strangers, she could only think about touching his soft skin or kissing his plump lips. She trusted Ben to be alone with her. It was her own self she distrusted. She was worried she would get carried away when alone in an apartment with him.

She fought a war within herself. Half of her wanted to wait and was sure she wasn't ready for that kind if intimacy. The other half knew that when she was around Ben, she lost her moral compass. She would let him do anything and everything to her. Her sex dream popped into her head and she blushed.

Before she could think any further the door swung open. Ben was standing with a big smile. He had a sleeveless shirt on, his muscles practically smacking her in her face.

She was already beginning to lose her moral compass.

"Hey," he smiled, kissing her lips before she could reply. He pulled away quickly and stepped aside so she could enter his apartment.

It was what she pictured his apartment would look like. She knew it would be neat and clean. She figured the design would be very simple with touches of his personality.

In the middle of his humble home was an electric piano. The living room only had one couch and a large TV. The kitchen was just as simple. He had pictures of men and women she didn't recognize on his wall.

He noticed her staring at them. "They're some of my favorite pianists."

"Really? Who are they?"

He pointed to one of an elderly woman. "Her name is Martha Argerich, an Argentine pianist. She's one of the greatest pianists of our century."

"That's incredible," Rey looked at the woman proudly.

He pointed to two more. "Mischa Maisky, he isn't a pianist but a remarkable cellist. He's also very famous. The second picture is Li Yundi, one of my favorites. He was the youngest pianist to win the International Frédéric Chopin Piano Competition. He was only 18 years old."

"That's incredible!" Rey exclaimed.

Ben continued to talk about the pictures in his apartment. Rey could listen to him talk for hours. Ben's eyes were full of light and he seemed to be in an incredibly happy mood. His skin was glowing with joy.

"Are you ready to practice?" he asked.

She took a deep breath as he took her backpack and coat. "I don't know if I can do it. Honestly, I can just ask to help out with the stage production. That way I can ease my way into the business."

Ben crossed his arms and eyed her. "There is no way you're doing that."

She looked at her feet. "What if I get up there and I get so frightened that I just freeze? How humiliating would that be?"

He placed both hands on her shoulders, steadying her. "That won't happen because I will be in the audience. And if you feel like you are freezing, you will look at me and be reminded of everything for are capable of. You will know that you can do it because you are fucking amazing."

She laughed. "What if I'm not what they are looking for?"

He scoffed with a shrug. "If they don't want a genius on their stage then they're all idiots. Remember the life of an artist is one full of rejection. It's how we create and sharpen our skills. So if they don't think you're fit for the part, think of it as a tool that is sharpening you. Either way, don't think that far ahead. Let's just practice and tomorrow you can worry about the audition."

"Okay, I will try." Rey smiled at Ben, thankful to have him in her life. In a few words, he completely calmed her.

"Very good! I will set a candle to help set the atmosphere."

When he finally found a candle, he lit it and placed it on his piano. Rey opened her backpack and pulled out the sheet music. He grabbed it and sat behind his piano.

She cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

Ben waited until she was ready and played the keys for her. She closed her eyes and felt the music seep in her skin. It made her feel at ease, comfortable.

With reluctance, Ben started to sing.

" _There's a place for us. Somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air. Wait for us, somewhere_."

Rey smiled as he finished his verse and he rolled his eyes. He hated his voice but she thought his deep vocals was beautiful. " _There's a time for us. Some day a time for us. Time together with time to spare. Time to learn, time to care. Someday!_ "

Ben smiled as she sang, his eyes bouncing from the sheet music to her face.

" _Somewhere we'll find a new way of living_ ," Ben continued as he played the keys faster.

" _Well find a way of forgiving, somewhere_."

The both sang together, the music taking them both to a magical place, " _There's a place for us, a time and place for us. Hold my hand and we're halfway there. Hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow, some day, somewhere_!"

Ben played the last few keys and then the room fell in silence.

"See? Not so bad," Ben comforted.

Rey smiled warmly in his direction. "Thank you. I always feel better once I sing it."

He stood and walked over to her. "Then we can practice it as many times as you like."

"Can we go over the acting scene?"

He nodded and as she pulled the script from her backpack, made a face. "And no making fun of me this time."

She giggled, hiding her face in the script paper. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, sure." He walked over to the couch and the two sat beside one another.

Rey cleared her throat and tried to get into character. Then she looked at Ben as Maria would look at Tony. Ben looked at the script and said his line in a monotone voice.

"I felt, I know something never before was going to happen, had to happen. But... this is so much more."

Rey's lip quivered as she did everything she could to keep it together. He was a terrible actor and read the lines with such irritation, she couldn't help but want to laugh.

He pointed at her face and made a face. "You see? You _are_ making fun of me!"

She burst into laughter like a balloon with too much helium. "I am so sorry, but you are a horrible actor."

He laughed too, shaking his head. "I never claimed to be Marlon Brando, okay? I know I suck at this."

She tried to pull herself together but could only hear him saying the words in a flat tone. She wiped tears coming out of her eyes. "Okay. I'm sorry I will stop. Go ahead, just don't imagine yourself as Tony saying this to Maria... pretend you're saying it to me."

Rey blushed after she spoke, embarrassed. He looked down at her lips briefly and smiled. "Okay, I can do that."

He said his lines again, this time focusing on every inch of Rey's face as he spoke. It was actually believable and it evoked deep feelings in Rey.

She looked down at her hands. "My hands are cold."

Ben out the the script down and grabbed both of her hands in his own. He held them tightly, looking directly at her.

Rey smiled, looking into his eyes finally. "Yours too."

He placed her own hands on his face. His face was indeed warm, and his dark eyes never dared to look anywhere else but her own.

Rey's eyes softened and her fingers grazed his lips. "So warm."

Her hands left his face and she put his hands on her own face. His fingers caressed her cheeks, flushed with feeling. Ben looked down at her lips as he whispered, "So beautiful."

"Beautiful," Rey breathed as Ben pulled her closer to him. The atmosphere changed drastically and all Rey wanted was Ben's lips. As if sensing her desire, he kissed her and she melted into a puddle. She couldn't even remember what a moral compass was as she wrapped her hands around his neck. His tongue slid past her lips and slipped into her mouth. She couldn't help a small whimper that crept out of her throat.

Her hands traveled into his hair and before she knew it, he was laying her down on the couch. His body hovered over hers but she was desperate to feel his body against her own. His hand touched her cheek as they kissed, his long fingers touching her hair. She felt a burning sensation in her stomach, a fire slowly building inside her. Her thoughts traveled to her dream and the fire grew. His lips traveled to her neck, he softly kissed on her skin and bit her gently. This was new and she couldn't contain her excitement at the sensation of him biting her.

"Ben..." she moaned.

He exhaled sharply in reply, which made the fire travel down her arms and legs.

She was so swept away she couldn't even remember her own name. Her hands traveled down his arms, large and muscular. The heat between them was blazing. She couldn't breathe but she didn't care. She never wanted it to end.

He kissed her again, with more urgency than before. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down on to press against her own body. She sighed, happy that there was no distance between them.

Then, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

Rey froze and Ben only looked up towards the door with an irritated sigh. She looked at his face, unsure of what to do. His lips were pink and puffy from kissing. They waited and couldn't hear anything but their own uneven breathing.

Ben shrugged and kissed Rey again.

"Ben!" a familiar voice yelled from behind the door. Ben jumped up, eyes wide with horror

"Oh my god it's my mom!" he exclaimed in a hushed whisper.

Rey pushed him off her and they both leaped from the couch. She didn't know what to do, she was so embarrassed. "I need to hide!"

"What?" he whispered, "Why?"

"I don't know I just have to!" she breathed back and then ran towards a random door. She could barely breathe as she looked around at the room she decided to go in and almost collapsed as she realized it was Ben's bedroom. This was the worst place to get caught in. She was hoping it was the bathroom so she could emerge looking innocent. If she came from Ben's bathroom, that would defiantly be suspicious.

She tried to distract herself from the compromising situation she was in. Ben's room was as simple as the rest of his apartment. He had a good size bed, dark wooden dressers. Like his living room, he had pictures of pianists and other classic instrument players.

She then pressed her ear to the door to see if she could hear anything. As she did so, the door swung wide open, hitting her in the face. She backed up against the wall and let the door hide her.

"Yes, see? This is a queen, so these sheets will fit perfectly. Why are you acting so weird? A mother can't come in her sons room?"

She heard Ben sigh. "No you can go anywhere in my apartment."

There was a long silence and Rey tried to hold her breath, afraid that Mrs. Solo would notice.

There was a gasp. "Oh my god did you have a girl in here?"

"What? Mom, no," Ben replied quickly.

"Is she still here?!" The excitement in his mother's voice was astronomical. She heard his mother shuffling around his apartment, on a mission. Ben protested and told her she was going insane.

It was a horrible hiding spot, Rey knew it wouldn't conceal her for long. She contemplated what she should do, coming up with far too many scenarios in her head.

When the door was moved and her location revealed, she was sure she looked like a psychopath. Ben covered his face with his hand as his mother laughed hysterically.

"Oh my god! Rey Skywalker is in your bedroom!"

Rey smiled innocently to hide the absolute horror and dread she felt. Ben protested, "Mom, stop. It's not what you think."

"It's not? Ben you have a girl who is hiding behind your bedroom door."

"It's not like that Mrs. Solo. Ben was helping me with my audition tomorrow, and you knocked. For some reason I got nervous and hid in his bedroom." Rey spat out the truth as fast as she could, while hiding the make out couch session.

His mother put her hand on her hip. "First off, do not call me Mrs. Solo. My name is Leia, so don't be afraid to call me that. And I don't believe a word either of you say. But let's not get carried away by details. Rey are you hungry? I brought Ben over some pizza."

Before either could reply, his mother walked toward Ben's kitchen. Rey was exhausted by the while altercation and wanted to go to sleep in the nearest bed. She looked at Ben's bed and shivered. If Leia didn't interrupt them, would they have ended up there?

"Mom, you have successfully made everything awkward, which I'm assuming is your goal in life. So thanks," he whispered to his mom. Rey could hear it, and almost laughed.

Leia turned with pizza and took an exaggerated smile. "I have waited so many years for my little boy to get a girlfriend. It brings joy to a mother's heart, you see. And for it to be someone as intelligent and beautiful as you, Rey, makes me even more ecstatic."

Ben covered his face with both his hands and groaned. Rey smiled and tried to loosen up as best as she could. Leia would get along with her father. They were extremely similar.

"Now, eat some pizza and let me just look at you two."

Rey took a piece, the smell too tempting to deny, and took a bite. Ben, who still looked mortified, took a piece slowly. He took a bite and the two remained awkward as his mother smiled at them both. Ben sighed after a moment of silence. "Mom, you cannot just stare at us. You're making this all unbearable."

Leia laughed and talked as she toward the front door. "Okay, okay I'll leave you two alone. You can get back to whatever you were doing before. Rey, I hope your audition goes well tomorrow. I can't wait to hear all about it when you come for dinner this weekend!"

Before Ben could protest, Leia was out of the door. Ben groaned loudly out of frustration. He looked at Rey who was still eating pizza. They contacted eyes and couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

I wanted just one more chapter before her audition. As you can tell from this chapter, I'm getting impatient with Ben and Rey's sexual tension haha I just want them to do it already!

P.s. Totes I love your comments! They are so incredibly encouraging and thank you for telling you're friends! It means so much to me. Also, Boston kicks ass! It was my first time visiting and loved it. Hope you liked this chapter :)


	13. Chapter 12

Audition

"Here's to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem. Here's to the hearts that break, here's to the mess we make." -Emma Stone; 'La La Land'

•••

The time had come.

There was no more waiting, no more reasons to run. The audition was waiting before her, without a road block. She would either be a success or failure.

Ben grabbed her hands, forcing her to look in his eyes, "Look to me."

They stood outside her high school auditorium. Two girls went in before Rey and she noticed that they were taller and prettier than she was. She was riddled with self doubt and the only thing keeping her from running was Ben.

"What happens in that auditorium does not define your future. You are going to be on Broadway with or without this play. Okay?"

She swallowed hard and nodded. She knew if she opened her mouth to speak her nerves would make her cry.

"I'll be right inside there."

Ben wrapped her arms around her in a tight squeeze. He kissed the top of her head and then released her. Rey's heart fell as they heard them call her name. She said a prayer to anyone who would listen, asking for strength to get her ass up on stage and sing her heart out.

Ben sat in his seat and she walked towards the stage alone. There was props on the stage already, half of them painted, half still in progress. Rey walked up the steps to the stage, the sound of her short heels clicking echoed in the large hall.

When in the middle of the stage she took a deep breath. She made it to the stage. She didn't run. Now all she had to do was open her mouth and sing. There were three people sitting in the front row. One was the drama teacher, one was Finn's math teacher and the last was someone she has never seen before.

"Rey Skywalker, is it?" Mrs. Kanata, the drama teacher, spoke up. She was a beautiful woman with dark eyes and a white smile. She had a thick accent and though Rey never spoke to her before that moment, she could tell she was an incredibly intelligent woman.

Rey nodded, "Yes."

Mrs. Kanata looked at a sheet of paper, "You are a senior, correct?"

Rey nodded again, "Yes."

"Okay, very good," She noted. "Now, unfortunately we haven't found our Tony yet. So since there is no one else to sing the selected song with you, can you perform 'I Feel Pretty' instead?"

Rey's entire face prickled with anxiety and her face betrayed her.

"I understand that it is very unexpected, if you are unable to do so it's alright."

Rey knew that it was either perform 'I Feel Pretty' or give up the part. This was how it was and she knew it, things changed in the blink of an eye. She knew that song like the back of her hand, but it was the fact that she was caught off guard that terrified her. She took a breath and nodded, "I can do that."

Mrs. Kanata smiled at her, "Very good. You only need to sing the first four verses. In your own time."

Rey nodded and looked towards the audience. She saw Finn, who was sitting on the side. She smiled at him warmly and he gave her a thumbs-up. Then her eyes quickly searched for Ben and when she found him, all he did was nod. He knew she could do it. And if he knew she could do it, then she could.

She looked at the pianist and nodded. The familiar tune played and Rey smiled widely, "I feel pretty, oh, so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity, any girl who isn't me tonight."

She saw Mrs. Kanata smile widely and it only encouraged her. She began to feel more comfortable, the music easing her anxiety. She grabbed the edges of her dress and moved slightly from side to side.

"I feel charming, oh, so charming. It's alarming how charming I feel! And so pretty that I can hardly believe I'm real."

In a flash, she felt like Maria. Her friends were surrounding her as she danced in front of a mirror.

"See the pretty girl in that mirror there: Who can that attractive girl be? Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!"

She twirled, love making her feel beautiful and worthy.

"I feel stunning, and entrancing, feel like running and dancing for joy. For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy!"

Reality came back and all she could see was Mrs. Kanata clapping. She was out of breath and was blushing ridiculously. She could see Ben standing, clapping with great enthusiasm. She laughed at the sight, almost wanting to cry. She actually did it. After years of wanting to, she got on stage and performed.

Mrs. Kanata shook her head, "Where have you been, Ms. Rey?"

Rey could only chuckle and run her fingers through her hair nervously.

"Well, thank you for your performance. I think we have seen everything we have to, no acting scene necessary. The audition list will be up at the end of the week."

"Thank you," Rey breathed and practically ran off the stage. She couldn't decide if it was a good sign that they didn't make her do the acting part or not. She pushed the thoughts away and confirmed that she did her absolute best either way.

When she got off the stairs, Finn was waiting in the aisle. He was smiling widely, "I knew you could do it!"

She hugged him tightly, "I can't believe it, thank you so much for coming."

"Of course, you know I wouldn't miss it."

Her eyes looked past Finn and saw Ben standing in the aisle near the door. He pointed to the door and then mimicked driving with a steering wheel. He would go get the car and wait for her outside. She nodded and watched him slip out of the auditorium. Her heart was already running to him, desperate to feel his arms around her.

Finn pulled away, "You're father is going to freak out. Make sure you tell him. I also saw Ben, that's nice that he came to see you."

Rey nodded, "Yes, he insisted on coming."

Finn smiled weakly, "Well, I'm sorry I have to run, I have a job interview with the fabulous Nice N Easy gas station. Then I'm meeting Poe at the mall."

Rey laughed, "Well, I hope for your success there. Also, look for someone better than Poe. But more importantly, thank you. It meant the world to me that you came."

He kissed her cheek and then dashed out of the hall. She left too, making her way to the front of the school. She walked tall, her chin up. She had never felt so confident.

When she walked outside, she saw Ben leaning against his car.

He was gleaming, his face bright and filled with pride. He opened his arms and she ran as fast as she could towards him. When they collided he picked her up and spun her around, holding her so tight she could barely breath. She felt like crying again and couldn't stop when the tears eventually fell down her cheeks. She didn't care that there were people still standing around the school, she immediately kissed him. She was filled with so many emotions, she couldn't contain any of them.

He pulled away and began wiping her tears, "Oh my god, I am so fucking proud of you."

She laughed, "I don't know why I'm crying. I just am so happy it's over."

"Did you see that teacher? She was blown away by you. She didn't even make you audition for the regular scene. That's how brilliant you were," Ben said with enthusiasm. He was still holding her close to his chest, their hearts beating against one another.

She shook her head, "Even if I don't get it... I'm so happy I did it."

"You will get it. I know these things."

She hugged him again and buried her face in his chest, "Thank you for coming."

He just kissed the top of her head, "You can count on me, kid."

She laughed and looked up at him, "Again with the Bogart stuff?"

He laughed in response, "Is it not working for me?"

She stood on the tip of her toes and kissed his lips, "Yes, it's working for you."

They held each other for another moment before he took a deep breath, "Now... let's get ice cream and go watch a movie, yeah?"

She sighed happily, "Nothing would make me happier, I just have to stop and tell my father."

The two quickly got in his car, speeding away to her house. What the two didn't know, was that in the nearby parking lot, a red Prius sat near the exit.

Inside was Finn, who saw the entire thing.

•••

Rey held onto Ben's hand as the two walked up to her house.

"Are you sure?" Ben asked as they approached the front door.

She nodded, a big smile on her face. Though the amount of emotions she felt during the day left her exhausted, she couldn't do anything without telling her father. The door swung open and her father looked at her frantically, "How did it go?"

She smiled, "It went amazing."

He was so excited he didn't even notice the tall man standing next to her daughter. He wrapped her in his arms without another word. Ben stood awkwardly and watched the two hug.

"I cannot tell you how proud I am of you!" Luke cheered, pulling away and looking into his daughter's eyes, "You were so scared, I know you were. But you did it anyway. That is so amazing, I still cannot believe it."

Ben smiled at the two and it was in that moment that Luke noticed the stranger. He looked at him and then back at Rey, and then back at him again.

"And who is this?" he asked.

Rey cleared her throat, "Dad, this is Ben."

He looked back at Rey with a smile, "Oh so this is the boy I heard so much about. He's more of a man, how tall are you?"

Ben blushed, "6'3."

"Holy shit, what do you eat for breakfast?"

"Dad..." Rey sighed, feeling mortified.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Would you two like to come on? Have a cup of coffee?"

Rey thought Ben would be extremely uncomfortable but he seemed fine at that moment. It was probably because Luke was very much like his mother, Leia. She needed to tell her father everything. She accounted the need to her audition. She could still feel the adrenaline buzzing around inside her. She took advantage of her stage bravery.

Ben sat at the table politely and Rey sat beside him. They both declined coffee and waited until her father helped himself to a cup.

When he sat down he chuckled, "I'm assuming you have something to tell me."

Rey rolled her eyes at her fathers incredible deceptiveness, "Yes, we have been dating for about two weeks. I didn't tell you because... I don't know. But I'm on an emotional high right now and I wanted to tell you before you found out."

Her father was obviously surprised by her bluntness, it was not like her at all, "Well, I figured that out a while ago. I was just waiting for you to tell me."

She exhaled with relief, "Why didn't you ask me?"

"Because I trust you. You're a smart girl." He looked at her like a loving father feeling bittersweet about her daughter growing up. He looked over at Ben, "I trust that you will treat my daughter with respect."

Ben cleared his throat, "Yes, absolutely."

"She's very much my favorite child, she means a lot to me."

Rey rolled her eyes, "I'm your only child, dad."

"Nevertheless," Luke protested, "she is my little girl, and if anything happens to her I will kill you."

She gasped, hitting her hands on the table, "Dad!"

Luke laughed, "Oh come on, I'm kidding. I've been waiting for this moment a while, let me have a little fun. I will seriously kill you, though."

Rey hid her face in her hands and Ben actually smiled, "You don't have to worry about that. Rey means a lot to me."

Rey dropped her hands and blushed. Luke nodded, "Good. Well, I'm glad you both came here to tell me like adults. More importantly, I'm very happy your audition went well. I can't wait to see you perform it live."

Rey smiled, "That's if I get it."

"You will," Luke said confidently, "Now, I am sure you both have places to go."

"Yes, we're going to get ice cream," Rey said standing.

"If that's okay," Ben added.

Luke laughed, "Yeah that's fine with me. Just be careful and I will have people watching you two."

Rey shook her head and walked towards the door. Ben followed with an awkward wave.

"Remember!" Luke exclaimed, "Always watching!"

"You're intolerable!" Rey yelled back.

The two walked out of her house, leaving her father laughing hysterically to himself.

•••

Im sorry for the lack of updates. If youre still reading this, I luv ya


	14. Chapter 13

_"Midnight strikes, where is my prince?"_

* * *

Rey felt exhausted from the days excessive emotional trauma. Ben brought her to his apartment with promises of old movies. When they walked inside his warm apartment, Rey dropped her bags and fell onto his couch dramatically. Ben picked up after her with a smile, placing her bags on his kitchen table.

"What kind of ice cream do you want?" Ben rolled up his sleeves and opened the freezer.

Rey sighed happily on the couch. "I know I was enthusiastic about ice cream earlier, but I'm kind of tired."

He closed the freezer and walked toward her. "Are you okay?"

She smiled up at him when she saw his worried face. "I'm fine, just a lot of emotions."

He nodded with a small smile to mirror hers. He understood her emotions and didn't press the issue. He stood up and effortlessly picked her up. She gasped out a laugh and felt like a tiny child in his muscular arms. "Goodness Skywalker, do I have to spoon feed ya too?"

Rey laughed and memorized by heart what it felt like to be in his arms. His body was warm and she realized she never wanted to be anywhere else. He carried her into his bedroom and laid her down on his pillows. He kissed her forehead. She felt a blush creep up her neck.

"Sleep."

Before he could turn to leave, she grabbed his shirt. He looked down at her, confusion on his sharp face. Her face felt hot but she wanted him near her. "Sleep with me."

He swallowed hard and nodded without a word. She turned so her back was facing him and felt as his body laid beside her. His long arm wrapped around her stomach and he pulled her close to him. She felt at peace and protected with him holding her. She knew what they were doing was called spooning. As romantic as it was supposed to be, she was painfully aware his penis was near her butt. She had to be careful not to push against it. At the same time, she wanted to push against it. The feelings were very confusing and she was too tired to address them. She just focused on his warmth and how clean his sheets smelled.

When Rey woke up, she desperately wanted to go back to sleep. She remembered she was in Ben's bed, but didn't feel his presence. In the distance she heard a piano and it was so soft, she almost fell back to sleep. Curiosity wouldn't let her drift back into blissful slumber, so she got out of his bed. She peeked outside the door and saw Ben sitting at his piano without a shirt. She feared a nose bleed as she saw the muscles in his back move as he played. She didn't know why back muscles were attractive but would be happy to stare at them for a while. Her eyes traveled down to his hips and she noticed two dimples at the bottom of his spine. She gulped and imagined what the rest of him looked like.

She walked as silently as she could towards him and put her hands on his shoulders. He seemed very aware of her presence. She kissed his cheek and her lips lingered a bit longer than necessary. Her hands traveled down his chest and she kissed his shoulder.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his fingers touching the piano keys tenderly.

"I've never slept better," she whispered against his skin. "I wish I could sleep with you every night."

She felt his skin get a bit warmer. She knew what she said and what is implied but didn't care. She felt herself being frisky but just couldn't stop. She blamed the fact that he was in front of her half naked.

"What song is this?" Rey asked.

He took a moment to answer. "I think of you when I composed it, so I guess I can call it Rey?"

"You composed it?" she asked, looking at a piece of paper before him. It had scribbles of notes all over the place.

He nodded. "Yes."

She didn't know if she wanted to cry or take off her clothes. She kissed his cheek again. He turned his head toward her so he could kiss her lips. "It's beautiful," she breathed against his lips.

He just kissed her deeper, one hand leaving the keys and touching her waist. She took it as an invitation and in a swift movement, sat on top of his lap. He seemed a bit surprised by her boldness but only wrapped his arms around her waist. She was completely seduced and had only been awake for ten minutes. A hunger grew in her stomach. A hunger stronger than ever before. She felt the piano against her lower back and briefly thought about Pretty Woman, when Richard Gere laid Julia Roberts on top of the bar piano.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her chest against his, their kiss was becoming a bit breathless. His lips drifted from her own, down her chin and eventually to the nape of her neck. She moaned softly when he sucked on her sensitive skin. She felt so short of breath she thought she would pass out. Instead of fainting, she ran her fingers into his messy black curls. He bit her skin teasingly and she felt something hard between her legs. She knew what it was and it made the hunger stronger in her stomach.

She was completely drunk with his kisses and didn't mind at all. His hands moved up her waist slowly and when his fingers touched her breasts, she moaned quietly. Yes, she thought, touch me there.

No one had ever touched her there before and she certainly didn't expect it of Ben. She realized he was just as drunk as she was and wondered where this was going. The simple thought sent her mind into a frenzy. Half of her was screaming for it to happen while the other half was scared to death. She knew she wanted it to be Ben, that much was certain. Still, even with the failed public school's health class and her father's embarrassing sex talk, she didn't know what to expect. She wanted to make Ben feel good but had no idea where to start.

Then she wondered if Ben had ever had sex. She never asked him. He could be more experienced than she was. She had never even seen people have sex. She was too busy watching musicals to think about looking at pornography. She was also terrified of being caught by her father. How embarrassing would that be? She then wondered if Ben watched it but the thought made her blush.

"What in the world are you thinking about?" Ben whispered in her ear.

She cleared her throat and looked him directly in the eye. She knew she had to be comfortable with him if he was going to gain access to her temple. "Are you a virgin?"

Instead of looking shocked, he just laughed. "That is what you're thinking about right at this moment?"

She nodded.

"Did you think we were going to have sex right now? Like in Pretty Woman?"

She laughed and couldn't believe how similar they were. "No but my mind was thinking about it and I never asked you if you were or not."

He smiled. "Yes, I'm a virgin."

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "You seem... like you know what you're doing." He must watch porn.

He blushed but brushed off the comment. "Are you?"

"Of course I am, I can't even talk to people."

They laughed together and Ben took a deep breath. "Well at least that is out of the way."

"Do you watch porn?" she blurted out.

He stood immediately with her still in his lap, "Okay, on that note, I should probably get you home."

Sorry this is short.


	15. Chapter 14

**A NOTE: I'm posting another one quickly because the last chapter was really short. So here ya go for anyone reading this 3**

 _"All I got is these broken clocks. I ain't got no time, just burning daylight."_

* * *

She sat at her computer with her browser opened. She took a deep breath and reassured herself that should could do what she was about to do. She knew people did it all the time, and her curiosity wouldn't let her rest.

Ben refused to answer the porn question. She didn't know why it was so embarrassing but she understood now. She was about to look at two strangers have sex. It was extremely embarrassing and she never wanted to tell anyone.

The first struggle was finding a porn site that wouldn't attack her with pop ups. So after some research she typed in a well known site.

As soon as she hit enter, she saw the thumbnails for the videos. She wanted to die. She scrolled through and wondered why they were all in good lighting. She couldn't let Ben see her naked with the lights on. She just couldn't.

She muted her laptop and clicked on one video. She watched it for a minute and had to shut it off. The girl looked like she was having a good time, but it looked extremely painful. Rey had never seen a man in action before and it made her sick. It looked like he was attacking her with his penis.

She got off the porn site before she was scarred for life and decided to do research without videos.

So she went on Google and typed in, 'What to expect when having sex for the first time'. The first article she read, talked about a hymen tearing and that it could possibly bleed. Rey wanted to gag at the thought of anything tearing. And if it bleed? She would cry and hide in Ben's bathroom.

The article went on to say how it may be uncomfortable but the pain shouldn't be overwhelming. That made Rey feel a little better. It said that it should feel like a pinch but nothing too painful.

It talked about the bleeding but Rey was feeling nauseous while reading it. So she skipped it and pretended like that would never happen. The article said that 'sex may feel uncomfortable at first, but the idea that penetration is supposed to hurt is a myth!'.

She was relieved but extremely curious when the blog continued to say that a woman self-lubricates. It said that sex could be painful if a woman's body is overly tense from nerves. She knew she would be a bundle on nerves regardless of what she read. Even while reading about it, her anxiety grew.

Still, she pressed on. The article talked about foreplay, and why it was important. She didn't even know what foreplay was. When she read, 'oral, fingering, manual stimulation', she swallowed hard. But she learned that it was extremely important so a woman feels aroused and ready for vaginal intercourse. She wondering briefly if she should write it down but didn't want the chance of someone finding it.

She read about condoms, which she does not own, and which ones are good to have. Then she thought that maybe Ben had condoms. She couldn't pick them out because she would have to know the size of his...

She shivered, and immediately thought of something else. The article finished saying that the way a woman enjoys sex is knowing her own body, personally. Rey had never thought of masturbation as something she should try. She was never an overly sexual person, so she never felt the need to. She wouldn't even know where to begin.

The research she did made her head swim but did relieve her to some extent. She knew she trusted Ben and knew he would treat her gently. She wanted to make sure she was open and then communicated, as embarrassing at it was.

Most importantly, she wanted to make sure she was ready. The logical part of her brain was still plaguing her ridiculous scenarios and anxiety. Her heart, though, told her she was ready.

It was Sunday.

The casting list would be up first thing Monday morning. Rey had prepped herself in the event she does not get the part. She wouldn't let that discourage her. Many of the great actresses and actors of all time had to fight for their dream. She expected hers to be no different.

She looked at her maroon dress in the mirror, making sure nothing was out of place. Her stomach was tight with nerves but that was nothing new.

She was going for dinner at Ben's parents house. She knew Leia and was comfortable with her, however she did not know Ben's father, Han. Ben never talked about him and the rare time he did, he didn't paint a very pretty picture.

Although she was nervous, she knew she would be okay as long as Ben was beside her. He would keep her calm because he was better at social interactions than she was.

He was waiting downstairs for her and she was sure her father was pestering him. So with one spray of perfume, she walked down to greet him.

They were both sitting in the living room, discussing something she didn't care to know. Ben had a dark suit on that hugged his body nicely. In his hand was a bouquet of roses, red and lush. They stood when they saw her and Ben's face seemed to light up as his eyes roamed over her.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart," Luke gushed.

Ben continued to stare as Rey thanked her father, hugged and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't wait up, okay?"

Luke nodded and watched as the two left his house. Rey could see a glimmer of sadness in his eyes but he covered it quickly with excitement. As soon as the two were outside alone, Ben grabbed Rey's hand. She looked up at him, smiling at his loving expression.

"You are stunning," he uttered, kissing her hand softly.

She didn't have time to blush before he was walking her to his car. While they drove towards his parent's house, he continued to fumble with anything and everything in the car.

"Relax, everything is going to be fine," Rey reassured.

"I know, it's just... my father and I never seem to get along. So just take everything he says lightly. Most of his comments are full of sarcasm and pretentiousness."

"Okay, that made me feel better," she lied, sarcasm laced in her tone.

"I'm sorry, I just want you to be prepared for the worst."

She touched his leg, making Ben look at her instantly. She didn't even realize that it was a sexual thing, to touch a boys leg. She was a inexperienced virgin and thought the gesture would be calming. "I can handle it, really. If I can't take it anymore, I'll put my hand on your leg. That way, you know we should wrap things up."

He cleared his throat, focusing his eyes on the road. "Okay."

Leia opened the door with a big, white smile. Her hair was pulled back into a large bun of braids. She was gleaming. Rey had brought a bottle of wine as a thank you for dinner. Leia took it and invited them inside the house with bubbling excitement.

"Han will come down soon, he had a work call. Make yourself at home, I just have a few things to finish in the kitchen." Leia walked proudly through the house.

Rey was extremely impressed with their house. She wasn't expecting them to be rich, but the inside of their house was immaculate. Every inch was designed with taste and charm. It reflected Leia, mostly. She was fierce and had a love for history. Artifacts littered the house to show her passion for the past.

Leia certainly did not have to work at the library in her high school. The fact that she did, showed Rey how admirable Leia was.

"It smells wonderful, Leia," Rey complimented. "Do you need any help with dinner?"

"Thank you, that would be lovely. I need some help carrying things to the table."

Ben took Rey's coat and disappeared down a hallway. When he returned, he met them inside the kitchen. It was huge, with an island and stainless steel appliances. She even had a brick oven to accompany her range stove.

Rey carried the salad to the table, admiring how well it was set. She could immediately tell that Leia but a lot of love and care into their dinner. Leia rushed into the sitting room with promises of great dinner music. Ella Fitzgerald echoed into the dining room and Rey felt like she was home.

"Nothing beats the old stuff," Leia stated.

"Ella Fitzgerald is one of my favorites," Rey said.

Leia looked at her in surprise and then great admiration. "I knew I liked you for good reason."

They walked into the kitchen and Leia opened the brick oven to check on dinner. Ben was washing dishes, hands moving methodically as if he had done it millions of times before. Rey watched him and got lost in the sight for a moment. She thought of a stupid fantasy that would embarrass her if she said it aloud. She imagined him doing the dishes in their own house. They would take turns making dinner, but he would do the dishes because he teased her for her washing techniques.

"Rey?" Leia's voice chimed into her thoughts.

"Yes?" Rey replied quickly, her cheeks flushing.

Leia smiled, seeing right through her. "Do you mind taking the biscuits to the table?"

Rey quickly took the basket of bread and left the kitchen. She wanted to stop making situations awkward, so vowed she wouldn't ogle Ben for the rest of the night.

Ben finished the dishes and joined Rey in the dining room. They began choosing their seats when they heard steps coming down the stairs. Rey felt the familiar choking feeling in her throat but did her best to swallow it down. She wanted to be strong for Ben and hoped that was enough motivation to keep her calm.

Han looked a lot like Ben. They had the same sharp features, though Ben got his soft brown eyes from his mother. Han's eyes were blue and seemed to be hardened by long shifts. He appeared like a man who had been through a lot in life. He had a dress shirt but the top buttons were undone and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. His silver hair was slightly shorter than Ben's but actually styled. Ben rolled out of bed and that was his hair style.

"Han, this is Rey, Ben's girlfriend," Leia introduced.

Hearing it out loud made her heart skip a beat. She never thought she'd be anyone's girlfriend. Han smiled warmly and walked closer to Rey. Ben stood beside her, almost protectively with a hint of possession. Rey didn't know what to make of the defense, but smiled through it.

"Nice to meet you," Han shook her hand firmly. "I've heard a lot about you. Not from Ben, of course."

Ben tensed but Rey chuckled to ease him, "The pleasure is mine, really."

"So, shall we eat?" Leia cheered, coming out of the kitchen with a tray of ham.

They all sat down and Leia insisted on serving everyone. Ben was extremely quiet, which was making Rey uncomfortable. She wanted to fight the feeling though and carry Ben on her shoulders, for once.

"So, Rey," Han began, "how exactly did you meet our son?"

"Well, I met him in my school library. He was reading in an aisle an -it's actually really embarrassing- but I took a picture of him."

"You... took a picture of him?" Han asked, an eyebrow quirked.

Ben shifted uncomfortably, eyeing his father with a lot of emotions. "He was reading and looked so taken away by the book, I thought I could sneak and take a quick picture of him. My shutter was on, though, and it made a noise when I took the picture. So he caught me red handed."

Leia and Han actually laughed, which made Rey laughed. Ben only smiled, still eyeing his father.

"So I had to talk to him then because I got so nervous I couldn't do anything else. So we became friends after that. Mostly because I forced it."

"That's hysterical," Leia noted with a smile, "what a cute story."

They ate in momentary silence, which Rey found more nerve wracking than talking. The night was already over stimulating her.

"So, what are your ambitions? Dreams?" Han asked.

Ben put his fork down, looking at his father seriously. "Father..."

"I'm just asking," Han retorted.

Rey cleared her throat. "I want to be on stage, in plays. Broadway is the big dream, but anything with the theater would be lovely."

Rey tried to gauge Han's reaction, but he hid his emotions well. He nodded, looking down at the peas on his plate. "That's certainly ambitious."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ben asked. He was as tense as a stretched out rubber band.

"That's an ambitious career. You got to have thick skin for it, face a lot of rejection."

"Boys..." Leia warned, taking command of the table. "Let's enjoy a nice dinner and get to know Rey, okay? This is not the time to battle one another."

Rey focused on cutting her ham, feeling very tired from the anxiety running around inside her. She suddenly felt Ben's hand on her thigh and she actually jumped. Leia looked over at them briefly before grabbing a biscuit. Rey looked at Ben, who was staring at her with pleading eyes. She could basically see 'SOS' written in his pupils. She shook her head lightly. "It's okay."

Her voice was barely a whisper and she wondered if Ben could actually hear her. He seemed to because he took a deep breath and ate a piece of ham.

Rey asked Leia about her love of history and artifacts. Leia promised to show her some of her guns from World War II after dinner. Han didn't speak much after the awkward altercation and Ben wouldn't look at him. The tension was beginning to be unbearable. Leia seemed to sense it and asked Rey for help bringing out desert.

When safely in the kitchen, Rey seemed to breath fresh air for the first time. Leia made chocolate mousse and cheesecake. It all looked incredibly delicious.

"Sorry about Han," Leia apologized. "They have a difficult relationship. Han was gone for a while when Ben was growing up. It bothered Ben and I think it still does to this day."

"It's okay, I understand," Rey reassured, "there is no need to apologize."

Leia spoke of it no more and brought the cheese cake out. Rey followed with the chocolate mousse. Ben's cheeks were flushed and she knew they had exchanged angry words while they were in the kitchen.

Rey took a deep breath, determined to be a supportive girlfriend.

* * *

Sorry for any spelling errors and the like. I want them to have sex so bad like wtf haha


	16. Chapter 15

_"Come with me, I'll take you home."_

* * *

Desert was finally finished and Rey quickly helped clean up. She knew Ben wanted to leave and was looking for opportunities to calm him down. Whenever she passed his chair, she would make sure to place her hand on his shoulder or arm.

Ben escaped to the bathroom and Rey figured it was a perfect time to talk to him. She snuck out of the kitchen and followed Ben down a nearby hallway. She saw light peeking through one door and knocked as quietly as possible. After a few moments, the door opened and Ben looked at Rey confused. Rey pushed her way in and shut the door behind her.

"I know you are just trying to hide," Rey whispered. She knew the trick because she did it all the time.

Ben sighed and hung his head as if it was to heavy for his neck. "I really want to leave."

Rey did what she thought was best and wrapped her arms around his waist. He hugged her back, squeezing her tightly. She pulled back enough to kiss him quickly. "I know you hate it, but being with your family is important. Even if you don't get along with them. Your mom is going to show me her guns and then we can leave."

"Or we can sneak out the window."

Rey laughed, feeling better than before. "We are not sneaking out."

He groaned and then kissed her again. She tried to pull away but he was persistent in kissing her.

Rey laughed against his lips. "We can't stay in here and make out, either."

He grabbed her shoulder and tightened his grip slightly. "You look beautiful in your dress."

"Oh, so you're trying to have sex in here?"

He laughed so loudly he had to cover his mouth so his parents wouldn't hear.

Rey was laughing too, fully enjoying her boyfriend's red face. "Was that your plan when you escaped in here? To seduce me while you're parents were twenty feet away? Because I would respect you for your freaky spirit, but could not handle the emotional anxiety of even the slight chance of getting caught."

"One day we will have sex in a bathroom while my parents are a couple feet away. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday and for the rest of your life."

Rey gasped and shoved him away. "Do not quote Casablanca when you're attempting to hook up in your parents bathroom."

With a dramatic turn she left him standing there, bent over in laughter.

Leia had at least thirty authentic World War II rifles. She had them all in a study on their second floor. She knew the history of each one, even who owned it originally. She talked about history like Ben talked about pianos. She had such passion for it and loved sharing it with people. She could see how Ben really took after her.

"You really love war history, don't you?" Rey asked.

"Oh yes, you know I used to be in the army."

"Really?" Rey was extremely surprised.

"It was going to be my career," Leia stated. She walked to a mahogany desk and opened a drawer. She fiddled through the drawer and pulled out a picture.

Rey's mouth hung open as she examined the picture. She was so proud in that moment, to see Leia in such an atmosphere. "You look amazing! Look at your hair! I cannot believe it, I am so impressed."

Leia took back at the picture with a warm smile, "Oh yes, I certainly was something back in the day. This was during the Invasion of Grenada in the early 80s. Those were two good mates of mine, Bob Starchik and Rory Tompson. They both passed away during separate missions. My throat was badly injured though, a shard of metal cut into it during a bombing. I was difficult for me to breath for a while, so they wouldn't let me come back. Then I met Han and moved on with my life."

"That is incredible. I would have never guessed."

Leia chuckled, putting the picture back. "It was a long time ago, but having these artifacts keeps it alive for me. I wanted to be a general before I was injured."

"It would suit you." Rey could picture a young Leia as a general commander. She would lead people fiercely and with confidence. It was meant for her.

They continued their discussion but was interrupted by yelling coming from downstairs. Leia and Rey exchanged looks before heading towards the argument.

"-For once, can't you just act like a normal person?" Ben yelled, stomping into the dining room. "Instead of bring such a pessimist and searching for what's wrong with my life, try being happy for me."

"The only problem is you! I didn't pick this fight, you did. I was nothing but nice and cordial to your girlfriend. You're the one searching for trouble."

"That is enough!" Leia yelled, not letting it go on for another second. "You couldn't let me have one nice dinner party? You had to make it all about your issues?"

"I'm sorry that you're husband is impossible to be around," Ben argued.

"Obviously, yes he is. There is no need to bring it up now. For Christ's sake we wanted to make a good impression but you two can't even be in the same room for five minutes."

Han stood in front of a window in the sitting room and refused to turn around. His hands folded across his chest, his head practically steaming. "We should be leaving anyway," Ben said.

Rey didn't want to argue, she could see Ben couldn't take it anymore. He waited as long as he could and she wanted to be supportive. Ben grabbed Rey's coat and she put it on. Leia walked into the kitchen and emerged with leftovers in Tupperware. "Here are some leftovers, Rey. Thank you so much for coming."

Rey hugged her tightly. "No, thank you. Dinner was absolutely wonderful and I so enjoyed getting to know you all better."

Ben kissed his mother on her cheek, "I'm sorry, mom."

She playfully smacked his face. "You'll make it up to me with a lunch date."

He smiled and with a wave, they both left the house. Rey needed a nap.

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow," Rey whispered.

They laid in Ben's bed, hiding beneath the plush comforter. She was warm and so happy to be close to Ben. He had his arm across her waist and her hands laid against his chest. "You will have to face the cast list eventually."

She moved her face closer to his chest, closing her eyes. "I know, I know. If I want this to be my career, I have to accept rejection. You need thick skin, like you're dad said."

She felt him tense slightly. "Don't listen to a word my father said."

She looked up at him, his eyes had frustration in them.

"He is an asshole."

"I thought he was nice. Not the type to hide how he feels."

Ben looked down at her. "That's because no one could be mean to you. It's impossible."

She laughed while rolling her eyes. "Ben, that's not true."

He joined in her laughter. "It is true. I couldn't be mad at you even if I tried."

He touched her cheek with his hand, pushing her hair from her face. His hands were warm. She felt him kiss her forehead, but she moved up to kiss him on his lips. It was innocent and sweet.

"Do you really want to kiss me like that when you're on my bed?" Ben chuckled, pulling away from the kiss.

"What do you mean?"

He made a face, a sarcastic one. "I could very well take advantage of you."

She giggled and kissed his cheek. "And you think I would let you?"

"I honestly don't know."

She decided to be honest with him, because she believed that was the key to a good relationship. She also googled about communication and how important it is for couples. "To be honest, I'm terrified."

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Terrified of what?"

"Having sex."

Even though the room was dim, she could see the blush creep up Ben's neck. "What makes it so scary to you?"

She took a deep breath and thought for a moment before answering. "It's not the intimacy, or giving that to someone. It's the actual act that scares me."

"Like..." he stuttered, looking down at her hands.

"Can I see your penis?"

He sat up quickly, shock clearly on his face. "What kind of question is that?"

Rey sat up as well, surprised that she wasn't as embarrassed as he was. "Okay, so I read online that communication is very important when it comes to sex especially. So maybe if I see what it looks like, I won't be so scared."

"You actually did research online?" he asked, disbelief written on his face.

"Yes," Rey answered. "I suggest you do the same because there is alot involved in a woman having sex. I mean, wouldn't you want me to be able to ask you anything?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's a strange request and I was not expecting it."

She smiled. "Well you can ask me anything and I will answer with complete honesty."

He wiped his face with his hands while laughing to himself. He looked into her eyes. "You really want to see?"

She nodded, swallowing hard.

Ben's fingers moved to the top of his pants. Rey swallowed hard as he began to pull them down. She could see his sculpted hips and a small trail of hair that led to the world unknown.

When he pushed his pants down to his thighs, Rey felt heat crawl up her neck. She knew what a penis looked like and all of it's functions. After all, she did her research, but the realization that she was staring at Ben's penis was all too flustering. She first noticed that the trail of hair near his hips was misleading. He had shaved himself and Rey felt self conscious because she doesn't. Did he expect her to be shaven?

She focused on the size of his penis and swallowed hard. She shook her head.

"There is no way that is going to fit inside me. This was a horrible idea."

Ben looked down and then back at her. "What do you mean?"

She made a face. "Ben, it's huge. It's as big as my forearm.

He pulled up his pants and rolled his eyes, even though he had a big smile of his face.

"Is it hard?" Rey continued to ask. She couldn't stop the questions from pouring out. Ben laughed when she asked but seemed determined to answer her.

"A little."

"Why is it a little hard?"

Ben shrugged and laughed again. She realized he laughs when he is uncomfortable. "I don't know, you're talking about my penis."

Rey laughed too but was so happy that they could talk so openly. The fact that her throat doesn't close up from the very thought of their conversation made her see that he was definitely the one she would give her virginity to. "Why do you shave?"

"I figured that's what you would like, I don't know."

"What I would like? Did you think I'd be seeing your penis that quickly?"

He made a weird noise and waved his hands around. "Well, you are. Aren't you?"

She rolled her eyes with a grin and thought of another question. "Do you masturbate?"

"Oh my god." Ben hid his face in his hands, "Please don't ask me anymore questions."

"Don't be embarrassed, it's just me. We can tell each other anything."

Ben's face was a never ending shade of red, but he nodded.

Rey's stomach was turning and turning. She enjoyed hearing that he did and didn't know why. It was a dirty image and she couldn't stop picturing it. "A lot?"

He threw his hands in the air with frustration and embarrassment. "I don't know, as much as any other guy, I guess."

She thought about catching Ben in that compromising situation and what his face would look like. She imagined what he looked like when filled with that kind of pleasure. Should she masturbate? She didn't know the first thing about her own body. Rey turned and faced him. "What do you think about?"

Ben looked directly in her eyes with his red cheeks. He licked his lips and Rey couldn't stop her boundless curiousity. "I think about you."

She moved a bit closer to him. "Really?"

He looked down at her lips, hungry for them. She did not expect for her feelings to escalate from such an informative conversation. It actually flattered her. It proved to her that Ben wants her as much as she wants him.

"Is there anything on me that you want to see?" Rey asked in a soft voice.

He shook his head.

"Why?"

Ben swallowed hard, his hands resting on her hips. "Because if I see any part of you naked, I'm just going to want to have sex with you. Even more so than I do right now."

She smiled coyly and looked down at Ben's pants. There was a large bulge and she knew what it meant. Her hand touched his chest and moved down his stomach and to the hem of his sweat pants. His breathing increased drastically and it only encouraged her to keep going.

Ben grabbed her hand from going any further south. "Rey."

"What?" she asked innocently.

His eyes were dark with lust and want. She knew her eyes were that way too. "If you... I won't..."

She wanted to touch him. The feeling was stronger than she ever imagined. She wanted the freedom to put her hands on him whenever she felt like it. To grab him and make him feel good. It felt wrong and something a lady shouldn't want. But Rey felt the thrill down to her toes.

She bit her lip, her fingers pulling down his sweat pants. He gave in, not having anymore willpower. He lifted off the bed for a brief moment so she could pull them all the way down. She gulped, seeing his length standing up on its own. It was even bigger than before.

She couldn't believe that she was staring at a fully erect penis. Rey, a notorious freak who couldn't handle everyday conversation, was looking at someones genitals without fear. She reached for his length and when her fingertips touched the tip, it moved. She didn't know it would do that. With amazement, she wrapped her hand around it. Ben's eyes snapped shut.

She had watched a video of a man masturbate so she knew the general basics. What she didn't expect was Ben's reaction. She moved her hand down his length and slowly back up. His breathing hitched and he tilted his head back slightly. He looked like a man trying everything in his power to keep a lid on something overflowing. The pot was boiling on the stove and she seemed to turn up the heat.

As she continued to move her hand, she noticed fluid come out of his tip. She didn't think he had an orgasm yet, and wasn't going to ask in the middle of what she was doing.

She looked back to Ben and watched as he fell apart. She wasn't going to lie to herself, she liked having the power over someone. It pleased her to be in control, to see a man come undone by her hand (literally).

"Fuck," Ben breathed, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Rey felt her skin burn when she heard him curse.

She increased her speed with a new-found confidence she never knew she had. Ben was moaning now, cursing and biting his lip. It was the most attractive thing she had ever seen.

In a flash, white liquid flew out of him, sprawling across his shirt. Ben laid out of breath and half dead. Rey had it on her hand and watched in amazement as his length twitched.

* * *

 **Lol this was too much fun to write. Honestly I wanted their sexual relationship to be very realistic.**

 **I kind of wrote Rey like myself. I had so many questions (thanks google) and concerns before having sex. It scared me as much as it scares Rey. But I quickly found out that even though I was also a weirdo like her, sex gave me so much confidence. I was kinky as FUUUUCCKKKK and I want Rey to be that way too. It's always the quiet ones!**

 **So maybe it was for selfish reasons I made Rey this way. Regardless, it's important to have no wall blocking communication in your relationship. It leads not only to better sex that you BOTH enjoy, but a healthy relationship. If you can't ask your boyfriend about his penis, then maybe you aren't ready to be intimate with him. The human body is beautiful and amazing and at times, very confusing.**

 **So listen my fellow hoes, go ask your significant other about their genitalia and let them ask you about yours.**

 **:D**


	17. Chapter 16

**_"Who really cares about tomorrow? It's going to be fine."_**

* * *

Rey stood outside Planned Parenthood and felt like she was going to vomit. She didn't linger long because she was terrified of seeing someone she knew. She was going to look at her birth control options. She was being a responsible woman and taking control of her body.

So why the fuck was it so _embarrassing_?

She walked inside and there were several women in the waiting room. The room smelled like a doctors office and it didn't help Rey's nausea. She walked towards the receptionist, who was a beautiful blonde. She smiled warmly when she saw Rey.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Good. I mean, yes you can help me." Rey swallowed hard after her embarrassment. "My name is Rey Skywalker and I have an appointment scheduled."

"Very good, I'll check you in. Here are some papers for you to fill out. The nurse will call you when they're ready."

Rey filled everything out while bouncing her leg. She was tempted to run and never come back. She wished she understood why it was easy for her to talk to Ben about his penis but to not a professional doctor about her own anatomy. Thoughts of Ben was the only thing keeping her in the waiting room. She knew eventually he was going to be her first. She didn't want to be naive and think, 'I won't get pregnant'. It's the real world and if she got pregnant she would go into a coma from shock. She couldn't handle bringing a living person into the world. She wasn't sure if she ever wanted kids.

When they eventually called her, it was standard doctor visit stuff. They weighed her, measured her height and took her blood pressure. The nurse was very nice and she was thankful she had just seen women. If she was going to have to talk about her body, she wanted to have the conversation with another women.

When the doctor walked in, she had papers in her hand and glasses sitting near the tip of her nose. She seemed like she was having a long day. She had midnight black hair that was very frizzy and dark circles under her eyes. Still, she smiled at Rey with beautiful blue eyes.

"Hello, Rey, how are you doing?"

Rey nodded. "Good."

The doctor kept smiling. "My name is Dr. Britchard and I will be helping you out today. First, we are talking to all of our patients today about domestic abuse. Even if you are not in this type of situation, it's important for you to be informed," she said, walking towards a nearby desk. She picked up a pamphlet that had a woman on the cover. She had a black eye and a bruised lip. Dr. Brithard handed the pamphlet to Rey. "If you or someone you know are facing this problem, there is help. Inside this pamplet is a number that anyone can call, day or night. Many women today feel helpless if they are dealing with physical or emotional abuse. But no one decides their fate except themselves."

"Thank you." Rey felt warmed that they talked to her about abuse. She wasn't dealing with that, but felt happy that these women are going to great lengths to help women who are dealing with domestic abuse.

"Now," she began, sitting in a wheeled chair. "Why don't you tell me why you're here?"

Rey put the pamphlet in her purse and cleared her throat. "Okay, um, so I'm considering going on birth control. I've done some research online but want to know from a professional what I should do."

The doctor smiled a little and nodded. "Okay, very good. May I ask you a few questions?"

"Yes." Rey felt her stomach turn.

"Are you sexually active?"

"No," she answered quickly.

The doctor didn't looked shocked or surprised. "How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen."

"Are you planning on being sexually active? Or are you experiencing irregular periods?"

Rey could feel sweat forming on her forehead. She wished she had someone with her. "I am planning on being sexually active. No, my periods are pretty regular."

The doctor picked up a sheet from the same desk and handed it to Rey. "On this sheet are different forms of birth control. There is in implant that you change every three years, a shot that you take every three months, a ring or sponge, which you insert into your vagina, a patch that will last a week or the pill, which you have to take daily. Do you know how birth control works?"

Rey swallowed hard and felt her cheeks red. "It increases the hormones in your body?"

The doctor nodded reassuringly. "Yes, very good. Birth control contains a mix of hormones like estrogen and progesterone to prevent ovulation. Ovulation is a time of month when your body releases an egg to be fertilized. If a women does not ovulate, she cannot get pregnant."

Rey felt sick as the woman continued to speak.

Dr. Britchard must have noticed because she touched Rey's forehead. "Are you alright, dear? You look like you're going to be ill."

Rey inhaled through her nose and exhaled from her mouth. "Yes, I'm sorry. This all just makes me uncomfortable."

Dr. Britchard put her hand on Rey's shoulder. Rey looked into the doctors eyes and saw long days and sleepless nights. The doctor looked like she would nap at any given moment. Still, through the exhaustion and crows feet, there was a kindness. An understanding. "The female body is incredible in what it does. You should be proud to be in such a body and be proud that you've come here by yourself to be in control of it. Many young people don't come here and can result in unwanted pregnancies. So let's talk about some methods that might be right for you, and I can get you a prescription."

Rey felt like crying but held it together. She nodded and Dr. Britchard made her look at the sheet again.

The next day, Rey had mixed emotions as she stood in front of her school. She went from one anxiety concerning ovulation and another concerning the play. She wanted to know if she got the part, but was afraid of bad news. She thought about avoiding it for as long as possible.

So that's what she did. She ignored the casting sheet like it was the plague.

Finn and her sat together during lunch. He was extremely quiet. She offered to go to his house, bake and watch movies. He turned her down and she found out later, through some impressive social media stalking, that he was at Poe's family cabin up north. At their usual table, Finn barely touched his chicken sandwich, taking a bite out of obligation.

"How is Poe?" Rey asked, hoping to break the tension. She hated small talk because it drained her. She never thought she would have to initiate small talk with Finn. Poe was the only reason she could think of for such odd behavior. Perhaps there was trouble in their relationship, if she could even call it that.

He looked at her but it seemed like he was looking through her. "He is great, actually. He asked me to be his boyfriend."

Rey was surprised. Poe was not the faithful type. "Wow, that is great. What did you say?"

"I'm probably going to say yes. But I wanted to tell you first so I knew how you felt."

Rey knew something was wrong. Finn's tone was filled with passive aggression. She didn't know what to say to him.

"Because, you know, I care about you. I value your opinion."

Before she could say anything, Finn stood and threw away his uneaten lunch. She stood to chase after him but the bell rang and Finn dashed out of the cafeteria. She sat alone for a moment, deeply trouble by her best friends behavior. He had never been so mean to her without telling her why he was being mean. Then it struck her like a bolt of lightening.

He must know about Ben.

She couldn't think of how, but felt the dread if it being the truth. If that's why Finn was upset, she had no one to blame but herself. She had to find him.

By the end of the day, Rey had successfully talked herself out of the play. Like a oiled machine, her mind would not stop running. She remembered all the notes she sang wrong, the twirls that looked childish and the certainty that she was not qualified to take on the role of Maria. In her mind, she wasn't cast. Somehow, it helped her swallow the rejection than actually seeing it for herself.

She was heading towards the school exit and from the corner of her eye, she could see the bulletin board with all the local school news. She knew the casting list would be posted. As she walked past it, she swallowed the rejection and attempted to keep her head high. She couldn't focus on a play when her best friend probably felt very betrayed. She needed to find Finn and explain herself. It was foolish for her to even audition.

"Ms. Skywalker?" A voice called to her. It was familiar and hit her ears like the way lavender smells, soothing and beautiful.

She turned and saw Mrs. Kanata standing near the auditorium doors. Rey wished she hadn't seen her. She was sure Mrs. Kanata would apologize for not picking her and tell her she'd find a part for her some other time. She would encourage Rey to follow her dream, get more experience and try again.

"Did you see the casting list?" she asked with a smile. She really was beautiful. Her skin was a russet-sunset, dark and smooth. Her lips were plump and her dark eyes were warm and inviting. There was an air about her, something graceful and gentle that never went away.

"No, I haven't."

Mrs. Kanata made a face. "Why not? Were you not happy with your audition?"

Rey felt like she was choking. She didn't know what to say because she knew her actions were silly. She was being immature and was embarrassed. "I just... I didn't think I would get it."

Mrs. Kanata shook her head and walked over to the school bulletin board. She grabbed a paper that was pinned on the board and walked over to her. "Ms. Rey, the most important thing for an actress to have is confidence."

She walked to Rey and handed her the paper. Rey didn't want to look at it, afraid to not see her name.

Mrs. Kanata looked into her eyes. "You must have faith in yourself and your abilities. If you do, nothing in this world will stop you."

Rey tried to swallow her nerves and behave like an adult. She looked down at the paper and like a broken facet, tears burst from her eyes. She saw her name written next to the name, 'Maria'. She covered her mouth with her free hand, afraid that she would scream. She looked at Mrs. Kanata, who was looking proudly at her. Rey couldn't help but hug her and squeeze her as tightly as she could.

She felt Mrs. Kanata's soft laugh and when she pulled from their embrace, she grabbed Rey by the shoulders. "Now, promise me you will never doubt yourself again."

Rey could only nod as she did her best to stop crying.

"Rehearsals start the day after tomorrow."

With that, Mrs. Kanata walked away and entered the auditorium. Rey stood frozen for a few minutes, her brain still processing what had happened. Then she took off running.

She burst through the exit doors to see Ben's black car waiting for her. She was crying again, but couldn't contain it for another moment. Ben got out of the car quickly and Rey ran as fast as she could in his direction. He saw her crying with a smile and knew what it meant. She jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He spun her and she couldn't contain her happiness.

Yes it was only a school play. It was not Broadway. But for an introvert who suffers from some social anxiety, it meant the world. She did something that she always wanted to do and for the first time, she actually believed in herself. She didn't want to doubt herself anymore.

Ben squeezed her and let her cry. When she pulled away from him, she was sure she looked like an absolute mess. Ben laughed at her, wiping her face with his sleeve. "You have snot running down your face."

She laughed too, knowing she was a mess. Ben handed her a tissue from his pocket and she blew her nose, trying her best to collect herself.

"I take it you got the part."

She nodded. "Yes. I did."

He hugged her again, kissing her cheek and neck. "I knew you would. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it."

For a brief moment, she was so engulfed in her triumph, she forgot her obligations to Finn. She wanted to share the news with him, but needed to come clean about Ben.

Filled with determination, she walked to his house and knocked on his front door. When the door swung open, she was met with the dark brown eyes of her friend. He was showing no emotion and Rey felt like he was disappointed in her somehow.

"I rehearsed everything I was going to say to you, but I forgot it all on the way here. So I will just... say what I'm feeling. I feel like you are upset with me and I think you should tell me exactly why you are upset. We have been best friends for a long time. We can be honest, even when the truth is embarrassing."

Finn took a deep breath. "Rey, if there is someone who isn't being honest, it's you."

Rey nodded. "I know that. I know. I'm trying to be honest now. I don't know why it's so hard for me to admit but... I am dating Ben. And I feel like... you're upset about that."

She was too afraid to look at Finn, but she could feel his anger. She could have felt it a mile away. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

Rey scrunched her eyebrows together. "I was going to tell you... I just didn't know how to. It was all very new for me."

"That's great. I'm happy for you." It was very clear he didn't mean a word he said.

She sighed heavily. "Why are you upset about this? What is so horrible about Ben?"

"For one, I'm hurt that you didn't tell me any of this. I had to find out by seeing you guys kissing in front of the school. That makes me feel like you don't care about me as much as I thought you did. Secondly, you are... naive, Rey. You don't know what men are like, you've only ever watched them in movies. You are getting swept up with this guy, who you haven't know very long and... you don't really know him."

Rey felt her heart thudding in her chest. As Finn spoke, her anger grew. "I think that's a little hypocritical, coming from you."

He laughed. "What? Because I didn't tell you I was bi? There is a huge difference between telling my best friend I have sex with men and you telling me you have a boyfriend."

"I never pry into your thing with Poe so why do you need tabs on my relationship? This is why I didn't tell you, Finn. You are treating me like a little sister when I need you to be a supportive friend. Ben makes me happy, Finn. He makes me really happy. So instead of treating me like a little messed up kid... Just be happy for me. Be happy that I actually found someone who understands me."

The last sentance hurt him. She could see it in his eyes but he hid it with more anger. "I'm trying to protect you Rey. You've been sheltered after your mom passed. People in this world can be cruel and mean. Ben may seem like a good guy now... but people aren't always what they seem. Do you know he got kicked out of his last school for almost beating a kid to death? Did you?"

She was so angry her hands were shaking. She wanted to say so much, but didn't know how to form the correct sentences That frustration made her want to cry. "Do you hear yourself? Are you actually aware of all the horrible shit you are saying to me? I don't need you to protect me!"

Her voice escalated quickly and it felt so good to yell, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop. Her anger was escaping her like an untamable monster. Finn just shook his head. "I have been there for you during all the shit you went through. I stood by your side and this is the thanks I get? I will always try to protect you from getting hurt. But if you think you are a grown adult now, go ahead. Get your heart broken. But don't come crying to me when shit hits the fan."

Before Rey scratched his eyes out, she stormed off his porch.

"Just walk away, that's really grown up of you!" Finn yelled after her.

"Fuck you!" she screamed on the top of her lungs. Her voice echoed through out the neighborhood and Finn slammed his door shut in response. Rey's anger completely took over her. She stormed in the house and ran upstairs. She threw everything she could get her hands on.

When the tears came, her anger worsened. She was angry at Finn and angry that she was crying over the entire situation. When there was nothing left to throw and Rey was out of breath, she sat on the floor. As she calmed her breathing, the anger left her. Sadness replaced it.

Ben stormed up the stairs. She could hear him.

Her father must have called Ben. He was used to seeing his daughter silent for weeks, not screaming like a beast. When her bedroom door swung open, Ben stood looking at her. She was sitting beside her bed. His eyes were frantic and desperate to understand what upset her. He knelt beside her and held her face in his hands.

"What happened? Talk to me," he begged.

Rey only cried in response. Ben pulled her into a tight hug and she wept in his chest. It was ugly and loud but she couldn't stop herself. It reminded her of her mother's funeral. She hadn't cried the entire ceremony or when people said ' _I'm sorry for your loss'_ , not quite sure what to say to a motherless twelve year old. She cried when her father finally hugged her. He didn't even say anything. But when he wrapped his arms around her small body, she couldn't stop the tears from falling. Ben was that person at that moment, the one who could make you cry just by a hug.

Ben continued to hug her, pulling her as close as possible.

"Shh, it's okay," he reassured. "You had good news today. Tell me what is wrong."

Rey pulled away and wiped her face. Ben pulled her hair out of her face, letting fresh air hit her. "Finn knows about us."

Ben's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. She watched a wave of emotions hit him. "What did he do to you?"

She shook her head. "Nothing we just had a fight. He was mad that I didn't tell him and said I was being naive to date you. I got so angry, I've never been so angry in my life."

Ben stood up and walked towards her bedroom door.

"No, Ben, _don't_!" she yelled, standing on her feet.

But she was too late.

* * *

 **I know. I know. This is some cliche shit. But then again, I'm a cliche whore. Haha. Tell me how you felt while reading this chapter and where you think it's heading.**

 **My girl Rey cannot catch a break. She had to go to planned parenthood alone, face the casting list and get in a fight with Finn all in a span of two days. Young people sure do deal with a lot of shit! But I wanted to put in Rey's experience with getting on birth control. If you are a young person considering engaging in sexual activities, make sure you use protection! Condoms, birth control, etc. Don't ever think 'It won't happen to me', cause bitch it will. Then you have a baby and no trips to Thailand.**

 **Be smart about sex and your bodies!**

-❤️


	18. Chapter 17

"Loving was wild, and young, and free."

* * *

Ben was already out of her bedroom and running down the stairs. She chased after him, breathless and desperate. He was like a bolt of lightening during a thunderstorm. Unstoppable.

She felt so stupid. She didn't even anticipate how upset it would make Ben. She feared for Finn because even though he could hold his own, Ben was a lot bigger than him.

When she reached the bottom floor, her father was standing in the kitchen completely confused. Rey didn't even have time to tell him what happened. By the time she reached her front door, Ben was already slamming his fist on Finn's door. When Finn answered the front door, Ben grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him off the porch. Rey screamed when she saw Finn's body crash onto the lawn. She could practically feel the fall. Finn was on his feet in seconds, chest out and steam coming out of his ears. Ben stomped off the porch with his fists clenched.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ben yelled, shoving his fist against Finn's cheek.

Rey could do nothing as they tumbled to the ground, a blur of fists and kicks. She was crying and trying to grab Ben unsuccessfully.

Thankfully, Luke came running and Finn's mother was on the porch, threatening to call the police. Luke grabbed Finn when he saw an opening and pushed him away from Ben. Finn ignored the interference and pushed against Luke to get to Ben.

"Enough!" Luke yelled as he pushed Finn towards his house. Rey held onto Ben, who had a red face from screaming.

"If you have a fucking problem with me then come to me as a man! You fucking cunt!" Ben screamed.

"You're nothing but a rat! I know all about you, you fucking psychopath!" Finn yelled as Luke pulled him inside his own house. He had blood pouring from his nose and his cheek was already swelling.

Rey was close to having a panic attack and didn't know how calm Ben. She tried to grab his arm and gain his attention. Ben wasn't having it, he was past the point of no return. He pulled away from Rey's grip and kicked Finn's car door. He screamed and with his bare fist, punched the cars window. It smashed into a million pieces.

"Ben!" Rey screamed on the top of her lungs. "Look at me!"

Ben turned and looked at her. His eyes were red with rage, his knuckles bloody. He must have seen the exasperation in her face. He put his hands behind his head and crouched down. He was inhaling and exhaling heavily, while counting to ten. Rey watched, confused at first but then realizing it was a breathing technique. Her therapist had taught her the same technique when she was thirteen. She used it to calm a panic attack.

She sighed with relief to see the storm pass. She put her hand on his back and he slowly stood. He was still angry, his pupils were dilated and he couldn't stop moving his hands. Still, even though his body was trembling, he was pulling it back.

"Ben, what on earth..." She didn't even know what to say. In that moment, he was a monster.

"No, fuck him!" he yelled. He kicked Finn's door again.

She threw her hands in the air with frustration and began walking away from him. She had no more strength to deal with the situation. "You shouldn't have done that. It only made it worse."

"What do you want me to do?" He walked towards her, grabbed her wrist and made her look at him. "He had no right to make you cry."

She took a deep breath and pulled away from his grip. "Just go home."

He felt pain when she said the words. It made his hands stop shaking. "I don't want to leave you alone."

She crossed her arms, blocking him out. "I need to be alone."

He inhaled and exhaled sharply. "Fine."

Rey watched at Ben got in his car and sped off like a jet. When he was out of sight, she felt like crying all over again. No tears came and Rey figured her eyes were dried up. She made her way to Finn's house. She needed to get her father and then everyone needed to just go to sleep.

When she opened the door, Luke was holding Finn by the shoulders. His mother was frantically trying to bandage him up and stop his nose from bleeding. Finn wouldn't look at Rey and she could see he was still fuming.

"Dad," Rey whispered.

Luke looked over at her and could see the exhaustion all over her face. He whispered something go Finn and slowly let go of him. He said something to Finn's mother but it was all blurred to Rey.

As Luke walked out the door, Finn finally looked in her direction. Rey didn't break the eye contact.

"I fucking told you, a psychopath," Finn hissed.

Rey shook her head and never felt so much disapointment in her life. She wanted to say so much but realized it was pointless. She could only think of one thing to say. She walked towards the door and before closing it behind her and Luke, she turned to look at Finn.

"By the way, I got the part."

Finn laid in Poe's bed, staring at the ceiling. Poe was laying beside him, looking at him intently.

"You know you have to talk to her, right?"

Finn rolled his eyes. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted to be told he was right and that his feeling were valid. A voice deep inside him told him he was wrong. He didn't want to be wrong. He hated Ben Solo and was pissed at Rey for dating him.

"Why does it make you so angry?" Poe asked.

Finn took a deep breath. "Rey isn't a normal girl, she's naive. I heard some crazy shit about Ben. He's dangerous. She knows that is true, which is why she didn't tell me."

Poe was quiet. It spoke to him louder than any words ever could.

"What?" he asked.

Poe looked down at Finn's lips and then sat up. He sighed, it was deep and heavy. "You love her, don't you?"

Finn sat up, feeling accused of something ridiculous. "Are you serious?"

Poe looked at him, a little bit of hurt in his face. Finn didn't think Poe was capable of being sad. He was the kind of guy to always look at the bright side, even when he was wronged. He never let someone make him sad.

"I don't love her, Poe. I mean, she's my best friend. I care about her a lot. But I'm not in love with her."

Poe smiled weakly and put his hand on Finn's cheek. "Just because I act like I'm emotionally vapid, doesn't mean I am. I can read you like the back of my own hand. You don't just care about her, you love her. You'd give anything for her to want you like she wants Ben."

Finn shot up from Poe's bed. "Fuck you, you don't know anything. You're just trying to feel sorry for yourself. I am not in love with Rey. You can care about someone without being in love with them."

Poe shook his head. "Look at you, man. You're a fucking mess. You didn't sleep all night, you came in my house ready to tear it apart and I know you cried in the bathroom. You're jealous of Ben."

"No I'm not! Stop saying that shit, it's pissing me off!"

"Don't yell at me because I am the only one who is going to be honest with you."

"You don't know anything." Finn began to walk out of the bedroom when he felt Poe grab his arm. He tried to yank it away but Poe's grip was unbreakable.

"You're right, I don't know anything. I've just been fucking you for five months. What I do know, is that Rey is a good kid. Just because she doesn't love you doesn't mean you can shit all over her when she does find someone to love. You're acting like a dick head."

Finn pushed him as hard as he could. "Shut up!"

He stormed out of Poe's house, cursing and yelling the entire way out.

"Do I have to go to school today?" Rey asked as she sat at the kitchen table. She slept deeply the night before but still felt exhausted. Luke handed her a cup of coffee and sat across from her.

"Not if you don't want to."

She was grateful for her understanding father. When Rey was young, there was times she wouldn't go to school for weeks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

Rey looked at her father and could see the worry in his eyes. He was used to seeing his daughter silent for weeks, not screaming like a mad woman. She took a deep breath. "If I do, I'm going to cry."

Luke nodded, looking down at his steaming coffee. "Then I'll only say one thing, mostly because Ben filled me in on most of it-"

"What are you best friends now?"

Luke chuckled with a shrug. "Hey, I was curious as to why he broke Finn's nose and when you got home, you went straight up to your room."

She bit her lip. Guilt pulled so tightly at her stomach, it made her nauseous.

"Sweetheart," he began. "You've known Finn for a very long time. He has been a part of your life and stuck by you through thick and thin. After your mother died, he was very supportive and understanding. I think... I think you've been ignoring something for a while. It explains why he is so upset that you're dating Ben."

Rey looked at him, her nausea growing.

Luke took a deep breath and lifted his shoulders as he spoke. "Honey, I think Finn is in love with you."

Rey shook her head. "No he isn't. If anything, he is just jealous that someone else could mean more to me than him. If he was in love with me, he would have at least done something about it. Finn has never been shy. He's dating Poe Dameron for crying out loud."

"Not everyone is forward when it comes to their true feelings. Search your own feelings, Rey. You know it's true. He hasn't spent enough time with Ben to hate him so why do you think he would be so irrational when it comes to you dating?"

Rey felt her entire world shake as the truth became clear to her. She covered her face with her hands, wanting to scream in them. "Oh my god, what am I supposed to do? Why did everything have to change?"

Rey felt her fathers hand on her wrist, pulling her hands away from her face. "I hate to sound cliche but change is a part of life, kiddo. You can't stop it."

"Things will never be the same between Finn and I. If he does have feelings for me... it will never be the same." Her eyes stung, but no water came.

"Your friendship is strong enough to overcome this. Will things be the exact same? Probably not. But your relationship will grow from it. Just give him some space. Don't take anything he said seriously. He's just a heartbroken and confused boy. He will come to you."

"Thank you, dad." Rey smiled weakly. She was thankful her dad was such a good father.

Luke finished the last of his coffee. "Don't worry about it, kid. What are you going to do about Ben, though? He beat the tar our of your best friend."

"I'm not mad at him even though I should be. I cannot believe how angry he got just because Finn and I got in a fight. It's a little unsettling."

Luke smiled. "What a little hypocrite you are."

She eyed her father. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on!" Luke laughed. "You are your mothers daughter, let me tell you. When I beat up Lando Calrissian for hitting on your mother, she swooned."

Rey laughed too, thinking of her mother and father being that young once. "You beat up someone for mom?"

"I sure did. I may not look like much now, but I would have beat up anyone for your mother. A man defending your honor, threatening anyone who dares to hurt you. Your mother ate it up and so are you. I can see it in your eyes."

Rey hid her face and continued to laugh. "No I'm not! There is a big difference between some guy named Lando and my best friend since childhood."

Luke nodded and got up to clean his empty mug. "Yeah, yeah. You can say whatever you want, we both know the truth. You are flattered."

"Oh, whatever." Rey couldn't help but see the small bit of truth in what her father said. She kept seeing how flushed Ben was when he was angry, how big he looked next to Finn. What was happening to her?

Luke kissed her forehead. "Go sleep. I have to get dressed for work. I'll see you later."

Rey finished her coffee and washed her mug in the sink. While her father got ready for work, Rey decided to make a lunch for him. It was the least she could do. He was her live-in psychiatrist. He thanked her and with a kiss on the cheek, he was off to work.

Rey decided to text Ben and tell him that she wasn't going to be at school. He picked her up everyday and it was only common courtesy to tell him that she wouldn't be there. When she hopped in the shower, she felt her body relax in the heat and steam. She didn't know how long she stood under the water but when she got out of the shower, Ben texted her back.

 _Can I come over?_

She bit her lip and contemplated her options. She didn't need to think for long. Of course she wanted him around her. Even though he beat up her best friend, she would never turn down his company.

Her father was right, as he always was.

She replied quickly and exited the bathroom. She took her time getting dressed. She put lotion all over her body, the cocoa butter soothing her. When she felt drained or depressed, she knew the importance of pampering oneself. She was sick of looking and feeling like a mess.

She had underwear and a bra on when she heard a knock on her door. She couldn't believe how quickly he got to her. Before she could reply, the door opened. Ben looked at her as she stood half naked in front of her.

"S-Sorry," Ben said. He turned around quickly. "I figured you would be dressed."

"It's okay, I just got out of the shower." She was too emotionally drained to feel embarrassed. She threw a large T-shirt on that fell past her thighs. It once belonged to her father. "I'm dressed."

He turned around but still averted his eyes. She grabbed the brush and started to brush out the snarls in her hair. There was a long silence before he said anything.

"Are you okay?"

"Tired."

He nodded, understating. He was standing like he did in the library when they first met. He felt uncomfortable and it showed in his body language. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," she answered with a deep breath. "I should be, but I'm not. I'd go bat shit crazy if anyone got you that upset."

He sat on her bed and watched her brush her hair. He didn't say much but she could feel his ever brooding thoughts.

"Do you know how to braid hair?" she asked.

"Yes, my mother taught me."

She smiled a little and when she finished brushing her hair, she searched for a hair tie. "Can you put a French braid in my hair?"

He nodded and scooted back so she could sit in between his legs. His long fingers were meticulous and she never knew she would love having someone braid her hair. It was strangely soothing and she would fall asleep if she could. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. For losing control."

"Does it happen a lot?" she questioned. She had seen him angry only a couple of times.

"It was bad in high school. People were afraid of me because I went crazy on this kid who bullied me."

"Really? What made you snap?" She remembered what Finn said during their fight. She pretended she didn't know about it. She wanted to hear the truth from Ben, himself.

He took a deep breath. "He started saying shit about my mom. Shit that was true and I thought no one knew. So I flipped out and and when I got control of myself, the kid was passed out beneath me."

She thought of what he said as he continued to braid her hair. She imagined a younger Ben hitting someone until they passed out. It was a little discomforting. "What did the boy say about your mom?"

Ben was silent for a moment before speaking. "My mom left me for a while, back when I was just a little kid. My father dropped me off with my uncle and went off to find her. They were both gone for a while. After a while... I don't know, I didn't think they were coming back. When they did come back, we didn't really talk about it. I overheard my uncle saying my mom felt suffocated by my father and being a mother. I don't blame her, I was a lot of work. She used to be in the military and missed being independant. But this fucking kid at school knew that. I don't know how, but he did. It just... it made me go crazy to hear someone say it out loud."

Ben had finished her braid and Rey turned around to looked Ben in his dark eyes. He was showing his emotion clearly on his face for her to see. He still felt uncomfortable, but she could feel his trust. She grabbed her hands softly. "I'm sorry, Ben."

He pressed his lips together and nodded. He quickly moved past the subject. "My father put me in anger management after that. I learned to control myself but when I saw you I thought maybe the play was cancelled or you backed out of the part. When you told me Finn got you that upset... I r."

She tried to get a grip on how she felt. She knew she should be uncomfortable with Ben's anger. It was more explosive than she previously thought. But another part of her was flattered that he cared so much about her. It alluring and almost exciting. She knew that was not the correct way to feel. Another part of her felt bad for Ben. Her own mother was taken from her, it was never something wanted by anyone. She didn't know how she would feel if her mother left of her own will.

"I promise I will do everything in my power to control myself next time. I don't want you to think I'm a monster."

"I don't think you're a monster."

She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Want to watch a movie? My dad just bought me Rebel Without a Cause," she whispered in his ear.

He nodded and she turned to find the movie on her dresser. She was stopped, however, by Ben's hand grabbing her arm.

"What?" she asked, looking back at him.

"Can you put some pants on?"

She laughed and thankful for his awkward presence. She needed someone to make her happy. A good distraction was very healing. "Ben, I've seen your penis."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You shouldn't feel embarrassed because I don't have pants on. This shirt completely covers me. I should be able to walk around naked in front of you," she said. "Remember? We are supposed to feel completely comfortable around each other."

Ben stood and scoffed. "Yeah, maybe after we've had sex and all the excitement and passion is gone. Now, you're doing it to be mean. You expect me to act normal when you're parading around in lace underwear? Why are you wearing lace? Of all things? Lace?"

She couldn't contain her laughter. "Ben, you're being ridiculous."

"Am I, though?"

"Yes, you are."

When the movie started playing on her television, she climbed in the bed next to him. They laid on top of the blankets and Rey moved close to him. Her head was on his chest and she found his even breathing soothing. She was too tired to talk throughout the film, however. Only occasionally could she tell Ben movie trivia.

They got to the part when James introduced himself go Natalie Wood when Rey's mine began to wander. She was in bed next to her boyfriend. Her father wasn't home. They were completely alone. She was on her birth control but it wouldn't be fully operational for another couple days. She didn't want to take any chances but couldn't help her wandering thoughts. His body was massive, firm and solid next to her. She just wanted to touch it and wanted him to touch her. She noticed his eyes looking at her bare legs, how the large shirt she was wearing barely covered her lace underwear.

She reached up and grabbed Ben's hand. He held her tenderly, thinking she just wanted to hold his hand. She looked at him instead of the television and put his hand on her exposed thigh. She felt him tense and for once, didn't over think what she was doing. It was mostly due to the fact that she was so emotionally drained.

She wanted physical contact. She felt all pent up tension inside her and wanted a release.

She held his wrist and pulled his hands up to the curve of her hip.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

She looked at him through hazy eyes. "I want you to touch me."

She watched him swallow hard. "Are you feeling okay?"

She knew it wasn't like her. He must be shocked to see her so forward. "Please..."

He wasn't going to argue again and didn't need any more encouragement. He kissed her lips and grabbed her breast. She felt the sensation down to her toes. His hand then traveled down towards her navel. Her breathing hitched like she was running uphill. She couldn't get used to having someone's hand on her body and how excited it made her feel.

He lifted her shirt, revealing her lace underwear. She gasped when he pressed his hand over the lace. The friction and pressure made her push back against his hand.

He moved his devious fingers up to the trim of her underwear. He slid past the fabric, his skin burning her as he reached the one spot no one had ever touched. She arched her back at someone's hands being in such a forbidden place.

One finger slid inside her lips, exploring and making her shiver. He reached her clit and when he touched it, she moaned.

"Ben..."

He inhaled sharply. "Fuck."

He rolled on top of her and kissed her. She was in such a lustful state, it was like she was drunk. Before she could comprehend what he was doing, her underwear were off.

He kissed her neck and moved to her collarbone. He lifted her and took off her shirt. His lips moved down her stomach and she watched as he slowly kissed his way lower and lower. He lifted her thighs and placed them on his shoulders. He kissed the inside of her thigh and she felt like she couldn't breathe. When he slid his tongue inside her, she exhaled sharply. She didn't know what she expected, but it sure wasn't that.

She felt his tongue move inside her, towards her clit, sending waves of pleasure through her. She was happy her father wasn't home, because she couldn't contain herself. She moaned, grabbing the blankets beneath them as if her life depended on it.

She did countless research on what he was doing to her. She never expected to like it so much. The article said it was pleasurable, but pleasurable was not the word. There was no word to describe the feeling inside Rey at that moment.

"Oh my god," she breathed.

His speed increased and she placed her hands on his head. She entangled her hands in his hair. He must have done research, because he knew all the right things to do. He sucked, licked and bit all the right places.

The feeling increased and took her to a new world. It was like waves of pleasure crashing into her, each time more intense and powerful. It just kept building and building and building until she was certian she would pass out.

In one sweet and intense moment, her entire body clenched as she reached her very first orgasm. She felt like she couldn't breath and when it was over, she lost feeling in all her limbs. She tried to breath evenly, but it was impossible. Ben sat up, lips wet and eyes as dark as she'd ever seen them.

"Shit," she whispered breathlessly. "That's what I've been missing?"

He smirked.

"Did you do research?" she asked.

"Yes, I did. Are you happy?"

She sighed happily. "So happy."

* * *

Get it girl! I was so happy Rey finally got to see what the hell she was missing. That was so much fun to write. She needed a break from the drama, get her ass catered to for once. So there you have it!

Comments are appreciated.


	19. Chapter 18

" _How can I live in the moment, when my thoughts never feel like my own?_ "

* * *

Rey wanted to heal like a wound, slow but fully. Finn made the wound infected, slowing down the healing process.

Despite everything he said and did, she missed him. He was her person since they were young. She never dreamed of the day when they wouldn't be together. Even though she had Ben, she felt alone without Finn in her life.

When she saw him in the halls, he was with Poe. His nose was bandaged up and his eye was swollen. Even from a distance, she could feel his anger. She wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Guilt, probably. Ben offered to apologize to him, but she decided to give Finn space like her father advised. Mostly because she couldn't bear to see another fight.

Her phone buzzed, pulling her from her thoughts. It was from Ben.

 _GO TO REHEARSALS._

She rolled her eyes. As much as she wanted to hide, she knew she needed to go to her first rehearsals. She knew the first time would be horrible.

Mrs. Kanata stood as the entire cast stood around her. She was beaming, clearly enjoying the new beginnings.

"Now," her beautiful director began. "We will be rehearsing this play for eight weeks. We have just eight weeks to take all of these ingredients and create a masterpiece. But first, I will introduce you to my helpers. This is our rehearsal pianist, Mrs. Phasma."

A tall woman with short blonde hair stood. She didn't look particularly thrilled to be there but bowed slightly as all the teenagers stared at her.

"We have Mr. Kenobi who will be out choreographer. Most of you will recognize him from 10th grade history," Mrs. Kanata continued.

Rey never had him but recognized him from the hallway. He was handsome with pale blue eyes and a red beard.

"Finally is our brilliant set and costume designer, Professor Hux. He is a colleague of mine who works at BSC and agreed to give up his free time to help us. Let's hear a round of applause for their help with this play."

As professor Hux stood, she couldn't help but wonder if he knew Ben. After all, Ben went to Burningham's. Hux was a tall, ginger man. He had a horrid expression of distaste and Rey had a feeling that would not change.

"Now," Mrs. Kanata began, "This musical, when it first graced the big screen, was daring, savage and pushed the limits of what we believed a musical should be about. It's our job to represent that daring spirit, to give ourselves to world of art and entertainment. The next eight weeks will be hard and sometimes frustrating. But when you are on that stage before an audience, you will feel what the greats of Broadway felt. Pride in their work. I believe in _every single one of you._ So let's do this!"

The cast cheered and Rey was so moved by the speech, she was cheering too. She knew it was too good to be true however, because Mrs. Kanata started naming the leads. She felt a twist in her stomach and knew she was going to be the center of their attention.

Mrs. Kanata first introduced Anita and Bernardo. It was two sophomores names Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor. They seemed friendly enough but Rey could see some romance between the two. Cassian was standing incredibly close to Jyn, who was simply his cast mate.

She finally met her Tony. Everyone called him Boba, even Mrs. Kanata. Rey wasn't sure why but wasn't about to question it. He was handsome and possibly Hispanic.

"Last but not least is our leading lady. Ms. Rey Skywalker will be playing the role of Maria."

The entire class laid eyes on her and she felt the burn of each stare. She blushed heavily and bowed graciously. The cast clapped and cheered and she felt a swell in her chest like never before.

"I have written up schedules for each of you and they will be passed out with your scripts. The acts you appear in will determine how much rehearsal time you will need."

As Mr. Kenobi passed them out, many of the cast we're mingling with each other. Her skin prickled at the thought of someone going up to her. She kept her eyes firmly on the rehearsal time sheet.

"Hey, so you're our Maria?" An unfamiliar voice asked.

Rey looked up from the paper and into gray eyes. It was Jyn Erso who would be playing Anita. "Yes and you will be Anita."

They shook hands and Rey felt her throat swell a bit. "I've never seen you in drama club. Come to think of it, I've never seen you around at all."

Rey's cheeks felt hot. "Yeah, I tend to keep to myself. Social things are not my expertise."

"No worries, that's how Cassian is. Trust me, he hates this mingling too." Jyn turned to face the boy she talked of and waved him over. "Cassian! Come here!"

The boy turned and began making his way towards them. Rey was about to be out numbered. It was a discomforting thought. Cassian walked like he had alot of self confidence. There was no way he hated the mingling. Jyn must have been trying to make Rey feel better. The man had pride in every step he took.

"Cassian this is the mysterious Rey we've heard so much about." Jyn jabbed Cassian in the chest with her elbow to encourage conversation.

Cassian shook Rey's hand and smiled handsomely. "Nice to finally put a face to the name. You're dating that college kid, aren't you?"

Jyn's mouth hung open and she jabbed him with her elbow again. Rey laughed nervously. "Yes, Ben Solo."

Cassian seemed unaware of Jyn's prodding. "Yeah he's got a kick ass car. I saw it one day, he must have been waiting to pick you up. It's pretty sweet."

Rey smiled and Jyn intervened before things could get more awkward. "So sorry about him, he's oblivious. Well it was nice to finally meet you. We should all go grab coffee after rehearsals soon."

Rey nodded as the two walked away. It confirmed her suspicions and she was sure they were a couple. She wished she could do normal things like go get coffee with her cast mates. She would feel better if she had Ben with her.

Despite her social anxieties, she was filled with excitement. Her next rehearsals were in two days. She was going to practice a scene in the bridal shop with Anita. In the meantime she had to get as familiar as she could with her as script. Knowing the songs was not enough.

Ben was aware of the introverts nightmare she was a part of and texted as Rey escaped the auditorium.

 _I have something special planned for us after you get out._

Her mind immediately thought it was something sexual. With how they were progressively becoming more intimate, it was all she could think of. It was becoming more of a need than a want. Now that she had a taste for what it was, she was always thinking about having more.

She never expected herself to be so... _thirsty_. It was like she was in a desert for a month and Ben was the only oasis. If anything, she thought she'd hate any kind of sexual intimacy. Never did she think she'd no only want it but _encourage_ it. Ben was introducing her to many new things, after all. It shouldn't surprise her that she was feeling a bit different than head-in-the-clouds Rey.

She imagined Ben would want it to be special. He'd take her somewhere significant to both of them. She hoped he wouldn't bring her to a hotel because she had a lot of opposition to the cleanliness of most of them. She could see him putting flowers around his bed for her, probably rose petals. She also saw herself talking way too much and ruining the mood. She couldn't tell which would be worse, mostly because Ben couldn't believe the things she was comfortable talking about. It freaked him out like his penis freaked her out.

Whether it hurt or didn't feel the best, she knew it would at least be special. Losing your virginity has to be special no matter what your expectations are, right?

Needless to say, it was impossible for Rey to concentrate after Ben's text message.

After rehearsals were over she walked outside to meet him. Once in the open air, she saw Finn and Poe. They were standing to the left of the entrance, talking to some people Rey didn't know. Along the sidewalk was Ben, leaning against his car. She swallowed hard when she saw him. His arms were crossed and sporting a bastard's grin. Although they weren't looking at each other, the tension between Ben and Finn was ridiculous.

She walked quickly by them and when she made it to Ben's car, she hoped to get into his car quickly. Ben, however, wasn't having it. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Why are you doing this?" she hissed.

"Because he glared at me for fifteen minutes before you came out here."

Ben pulled back slightly, and kissed her lips. She melted into his lips as usual, but felt the burn of Finn's stare.

When the kiss ended, his lips traveled to her ear. "Any punishment is worth the look on his face," he whispered. She was sure Ben was looking right at Finn with a big, satisfied grin.

She pushed him away, trying not to smile and show that she approved of his act in any way. Once inside, Ben turned the music on loudly and sped away. Once out of sight, he turned the radio down and laughed to himself.

"Are you proud of yourself, then?" she asked.

He tried to stop laughing but was failing, miserably. "Oh, come on. He's acting like a hurt little puppy."

"That's easy for you to say, he wasn't _you're_ childhood best friend. I want him to forgive me, you know."

"You want him to forgive _you_?" he asked with a scoff. "If anything, it's him who should be apologizing to you. He had no right to get so wound up about us dating."

She shrugged. "Finn is dramatic, it's who he is. I miss him."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Ben apologized. "I won't do it again. It just felt good to rub it in his face a bit."

"So what is it that we have planned?" she asked, desperate to change the subject. Talking about Finn had made her nauseous.

"How do you feel about sweaty work?"

Rey's mouth curled into a wicked smile. "Sweaty work?"

Ben looked at her for only a moment before laughing. Rey rolled her eyes and felt heat rush to her cheeks. "You should have seen your face."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, working through the embarrassment.

He eyed her with a sneaky expression all over his face. "You'll see."

Rey couldn't deny the glow Ben had. Rey wondered if it was because they were getting more and more comfortable with each other with every passing day. It was natural to touch him and effortless for him to kiss her lips. She wondered if he loved her.

They pulled into a parking lot that belonged to a large brick building. Passing by, Rey would think it was abandoned or home to some drug dealers. Ben grabbed a bag from his trunk and grabbed Rey's hand. As they walked inside, she couldn't help but smile at his excitement. "I know you've been going through a lot with Finn and your play. So I thought this was a good way to blow off some steam. It's what I do three times a week. A coping thing, I guess."

When they walked inside, Rey couldn't help but be surprised. A gym wasn't what she was expecting. It wasn't just a gym, it was a boxing gym. The whole gymnasium was empty. "You box?" she asked.

He nodded, as if that shouldn't surprise her. "My father enrolled me in a boxing class as a kid. He wanted me to work out my anger and probably keep me away from the piano. I ended up really liking it. It's a safe outlet to let it all out. The owner lets me come here when no one is around."

Rey knew Ben didn't get so muscular by his 'genes'. He had a boxers body and now she knew why. "I don't have any clothes."

Ben opened the bag he was carrying and handed Rey a pair of short and sports bra. She had never seen them before. "I got you some."

"Did you go and buy me shorts and a bra?" Rey asked, shocked. "How did you know my size?"

Ben shrugged. "I guessed, so hopefully they fit."

Rey narrowed her eyes. "Did you call my father?"

Ben bit his bottom lip.

"Do you guys talk all the time or something?"

"No, I just didn't want to get a size too big for you. So instead of ruining the surprise, I called your father to ask him your size."

"You asked him my bra size?"

Ben chuckled freely, squinting his eyes in the process. "Can you change?"

Rey was irritated but the shorts fit her and so did the bra. She looked in the mirror next to her in the changing room and sighed. She tried to have confidence and walk out to Ben like a willing partner. She knew she wasn't going to like this. She hated any kind of physical activity. Finn would try to make her work out with him and she would end up in the snack room.

When she walked out, Ben was wrapping his hands. He only had shorts on and half of his hair pulled back in a bun. Rey swallowed hard. There was no answer to why he was so attractive. It shouldn't be allowed.

"Hey, you look amazing." Ben looked her up and down with a sly smile. "Let me wrap your hands."

Rey didn't trust her voice so she just held her hands out to him. As he wrapped her hands, she continued to stare at his wide,firm bare chest. She wanted to climb it like a tree to get the juicy fruit at the top. Her eyes travelled up his neck and to his lips. She knew what those lips could do and it almost gave her a nose bleed. She needed to have sex with him before she exploded from the tension. Now that she knew what he could do to her, that's all she wanted.

He put her gloves on and tied them for her. "You ready?"

Rey nodded and followed him into the ring. It was just like the ones you saw in movies or TV. She was happy there was no one around to watch her. She was already uncomfortable being half naked in the openness of the gym. It would be a million times worse if there were other guys around.

"Okay so when I say go, punch me as hard as you can," Ben said. He had a synthetic pinching mitts on his hand and excitement in his eyes.

"This is so weird. I can't believe this is what we are doing right now. Shouldn't we be in a bookstore somewhere?"

Ben laughed and rolled his eyes. "GO!"

Rey punched one of the mitts and Ben made a face.

"Punch it harder. Look at these mitts as every opposition you've ever face. A person, an object... even yourself. Punch it as hard as you can."

Rey took a deep breath and punched it as hard as she could. Her heart was beating fast all of a sudden. It actually felt good.

"Again," Ben demanded.

She punched it again and again and again. Her breath quickened with every hit. It didn't take long for sweat to fall down her face. She imagined Finn and how horrible he treated her.

"Harder!" Ben yelled.

She thought about the play and how difficult it was to be around people.

 _ **"Again!"**_

Most importantly, she thought of herself. She thought of her inability to make friends, her constant fight against depression and collapsing into herself. She punched it so hard she was pushing Ben back. She could hear him encouraging her, screaming for her to keep pushing. Without even realizing it, she was screaming just as loud as he was.

She lifted her leg and kicked the mitt in his left hand as hard as she could. The force of her kick pushed Ben to the ground. She stood above him, her entire body buzzing with adrenaline. He was looking at her with an expression she couldn't decipher. Ben stood and wouldn't take his eyes off of her. She was trying desperately to catch her breath when Ben pulled his gloves off. He lifted her and kissed her with an frenzy. She had so much adrenaline pumping through her, she was sure she would pass out. She pulled off her own gloves and his hands squeezed her thighs.

"That felt amazing," Rey breathed against his lips.

"That was so hot," he replied, kissing her harder.

She moaned when his free hand traveled to her breast. She was wanted him to take her right then and there. Her thighs ached for him to be in between them. Every inch of her skin screamed for his touch.

Her phone ringing interrupted them. "My phone."

"Ignore it," Ben mumbled, biting her neck.

"That's my fathers ringtone."

He groaned in frustration and put her down. She climbed off the ring and ran towards her backpack. She tried to control her breathing when she answered.

"Rey, hello, how are you?" her father asked. His voice was calm but Rey heard yelling in the background.

"I'm fine, what is going on?" She could tell he was at work. Working in a weapons factory was always loud.

"I don't know if you remember or not, but I bought these tickets for that ballet in a couple days-"

"Oh my god," Rey interrupted. "Dad I completely forgot."

"Well, I'm actually calling because I forgot."

Rey was surprised. "You did?"

"Yes and unfortunately I am unable to make it..." he sighed like he was disappointed in himself. "My boss is being a dick and making me go to LA next week. I have to meet with this stupid investor and talk him into working with out company."

"Dad, it's fine. I promise it is not a big deal. I'll make Ben go with me."

"Even though I hate ballets, I was looking forward to having a night out with you. This shit is getting old."

Rey chuckled. "We will have a night out when you get back. Dinner and a movie?"

"Okay. I'm sorry, kid." Her fathers voice was very distant. He was always too hard on himself.

"Please don't apologize. It's okay. When do you leave for LA?"

"Tomorrow. My flight is at 10 in the morning."

"Can you bring me back Tom Hardy? He's there filming a movie, I think."

Her father laughed. "I'll get right on that, shouldn't be out of my budget."

Rey smiled. "Love you dad."

"Love you too, kiddo."

They hung up and Rey turned back toward Ben. He was laying on the floor like someone just knocked him unconscious. "Do you want to go to a ballet in a couple of days?"

Ben looked over at Rey. "Yeah, sure. I'll go. I'm just gunna lay here a minute... calm down..."

Rey laughed and laid down beside him. The cool pavement felt good on her back. "If it makes you feel any better... I haven't felt that good in a while. I guess I am really angry about stuff. It was amazing to just let it all out."

A small smile appeared on Ben's lips. "I have never been more turned on than watching you stand over me. You could have punched me in the jaw and I would have still been seduced."

Rey laughed loudly. "Good to know."

* * *

I don't even know what this chapter was. I am sexually frustrated for them and I just wanted Rey to beat up Ben. It's probably because I just saw TLJ and I feel like Kylo is attracted to powerful woman. :):):)


	20. Chapter 19

_"When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear. You give me fever."_

"There's a place for us," Rey sang. "Somewhere, a place for us."

Boba walked grabbed her hands, squeezing them slightly. She wouldn't look from his dark eyes and felt the song lift her soul.

He sang back to her, his rich voice touching her skin like a gentle hand.

"There's a place for us," they sang together. "A time and place for us. Hold my hand and we're halfway there. Hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow..."

Boba touched her cheek as they both sang the last notes with power and strength.

"Some day! Somewhere!"

Then Boba pressed his lips onto Rey's. They were rough and chapped, but the song lifted the passion she felt. The lights faded and when the lights came back on, Mrs. Kanata was screaming with applause.

The other kids in the play watched and applauded loudly. Rey blushed and fought back tears. Each day it was getting easier to rehearse. Easier to face her cast mates.

"That was perfection," Mrs. Kanata cheered and she walked up on stage. "The chemistry between you two is fantastic. Now after the weekend we will focus on the scene with Maria and Anita."

Rey nodded with a beaming smile. "Almost finished with Act II, already?"

Her director chuckled. "Isn't it so exciting! We're halfway there. Keep up the good work and be sure to memorize the scene with you and Anita. Along with the song number."

Everyone said their goodbyes but Jyn stopped Rey before she left.

"Hey do you and Ben want to go to dinner tonight? Cassian and I are going to check out this new burger joint."

Jyn must have seen Rey's surprised face.

Jyn laughed it off. "I know, we're super classy. So can you come or not?"

Rey nodded. "Sure."

After they parted, Rey couldn't help but feel some pride in herself. At the beginning of her senior year she had only one friend. Now it seemed she gained new friends every day. Personal growth was very encouraging and she didn't expect to see it so quickly.

Rey's father was in LA for business and she had the house all to herself. She expected Ben to stay there for her fathers entire absence. She anticipated sexual tension but decided that after the ballet, she would take their relationship to the next level. She had done all the research and finished preparations. She felt in her heart that she was ready.

Still, she knew waiting until Saturday would prove to be quite a challenge. Her birth control was in full effect by Saturday and didn't want to take any chances of it not working. Being in a house alone with Ben and unable to touch him would prove to be her toughest test yet.

Ben picked her up from school and they went toPoor Richard's to stock up on books. It was different walking in without Finn. She knew Richard wondered where she was, but never mentioned it. Ben and her sat in the basement. She was finally getting around to reading 'A Girl With the Pearl Earring'. She loved the painting and always wanted to read the novel.

They paid for their books at made their way back to Rey's house. On the way home, Ben couldn't stop smiling. Rey watched him curiously. "You haven't stopped smiling since we got in the car. Is there something you'd like to share?"

He shrugged, his smile a permanent fixture on his face. "I don't know... We're going to an empty house. It feels like we live together and we're just... going home."

"How domestic of you. I wouldn't peg you for a house owner."

He laughed and glanced over at her for a second. "I can be surprising."

Her hand found his arm and then his free hand. "I understand what you mean, though. We can pretend we're adults and you just picked me up from work. Now we're heading home to our domestic life. It's fun, kind of like roleplay."

An eyebrow rose on his face. "Roleplay?"

"Yeah, that's what adults do to add some spice to their monogamous sex. I've done some research on it."

"Of course you have," he added with a chuckle. "Well we kind of have to have sex first before we need to add some spice to it."

She bit her lip. She decided to just blurt out what she wanted to say. "Yeah, but we have to wait until Saturday. My birth control is fully functioning by then. The idea of condoms is a little scary for me, to be honest. Like, I know there are self-lubricating ones but still. So I would prefer to just wait until Saturday."

She glanced at his face and he went a little pale. After a hard swallow he spoke. "Birth control? You're on birth control?"

"Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? I'm on the patch which looked like a band-aid on my ass."

He seemed like he was going to faint. "So you've set a day and everything?"

"We're going to have a house all to ourselves. You want to have sex with me, right?"

"Of course I do, Rey, are you crazy? I just didn't think you planned an exact day or time."

"Whenever we're alone we almost make mistakes. If we set a day it will help us... control ourselves."

He was blushing. "I can control myself, Rey. It's not like I'm some horny lunatic."

Rey narrowed her eyes and she knew Ben could feel her stare. "So I'm the horny lunatic?"

He laughed. "Well you're the one who..."

His voice trailed off and she crossed her arms. "I would be very careful Ben, because Saturday isn't until tomorrow. I could make your life very difficult until then."

"Is that a threat?" he asked, his eyes glancing at her playfully.

"You're the one saying you have the willpower of a thousand castrated men. I would love to test this theory. It just so happens that Jyn has invited us to dinner tonight. She is going to text me a time for us to meet her. So I sure hope that you can control your hormones for our double date."

"I don't want to go on a double date. I hate people. Even if I went, I know for a fact that I could control myself. The person who would lose control of their hormones is you."

A devious smile crept on Rey's face. She was going to thoroughly enjoy putting Ben through hell. "Okay then. Drop me off home and you go off to your apartment to get ready. I will text you when to pick me up."

Ben looked at her with the devil in his eyes. "Fine."

-

Rey looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn't a make-up artist, that much was certian. She had been watching YouTube videos all night, trying to get her winged eyeliner right. She even put on red lipstick. Well, it was a lip 'stain' she picked up from the beauty store. The make-up woman said it was better than red lipstick because it wouldn't smear. So she was going all out. Her hair was down and nothing special. She hoped her fancy makeup would distract from her dull hair.

She put on some light perfume, dressed in black skirt that rode a bit higher than normal. Her shirt was red, to match her lips, that dipped down a little lower than it should. It showed just a inch or two of her midriff. She achieved this by drying it a couple times.

The door bell rang and after panicking briefly, she ran downstairs. She held her purse in her hand and swung open the door. Ben stared at her face, his eyes traveling down her body. She felt triumphant but then she realized that he took time getting ready as well. He was wearing her favorite shirt. It wasn't anything special, just a gray soft shirt. It just hugged his biceps and clung to his chest a little more than any other shirt. She never told him it was her favorite shirt. How could he know? He had cologne on, which was risky but the smell was delicious.

"You look nice," he said with a smile. "You ready?"

She rolled her eyes. Of course she was ready. "Yes, let's go."

When they got in the car, all she could smell was his cologne. The plan was backfiring on her and they've just left her house. They were meeting Jyn and Cassian at the new burger restaurant.

They arrived at the restaurant and with fresh air hitting her, Rey felt in control again. Jyn and Cassian were already sitting at the booth, next to one another. She was happy to sit right next to Ben, it gave her a little more control.

"Hey, you look fucking gorgeous!" Jyn cheered. She hugged Rey and then looked up at Ben. "Wow, he is really tall."

Rey laughed and tried to remain calm. She had never been on a normal double date. "This is my boyfriend Ben. Ben, these are my cast mates Jyn and Cassian."

Ben shook their hands and nodded politely. She knew he wouldn't contribute much to the conversations to be had. She wouldn't either but Jyn talked a lot and easily kept the conversations going. She felt Ben looking at her a couple times and was very conscious of how she sat and laughed. She wanted to allure him with everything she did. It was harder than she thought it would be. She wasn't used to paying so much attention to herself. Jyn and Cassian began debating on what they would order when Rey finally looked over at Ben. He was looking down at his menu, sitting awkwardly like when they met in the library.

She slipped her foot out of it's shoe and crossed her legs beneath the table. The tip of her foot touched Ben's leg and he jumped a little at the contact. She chuckled and placed her hand on his thigh. He pushed it away, looking up at Cassian and Jyn. She then put her hand directly on the bulge between his legs. He jumped higher this time and Jyn noticed.

"You alright there, buddy?" she asked with a laugh.

Ben cleared his throat. "Yes, I just have to use the restroom."

Rey had to bite her tongue to repress her laughter. Ben practically ran to the bathroom.

When he returned, his eyes were hard with warning. She stopped touching him but made it a point to pull down her shirt a bit more, making her cleavage more visible. She could see him avert his eyes with a hard swallow.

Rey wanted to order something sexy but couldn't see how any food could be sexy. She ended up getting a sausage and peppers sandwich. How she was going to make that sexy, she didn't really know. Before their food arrived, a woman approached the table. She knew Cassian from somewhere outside of school. Rey wasn't paying attention. They introduced Rey and Ben to the woman but Rey already forgot what the woman's name was. As they engaged in conversation with the stranger, Ben put his arm around Rey's shoulders. His lips found her ear.

"I bet you think you're so clever," he whispered. It sent a shiver down her spine.

She kept her composure as Ben softly exhaled below her ear. His breath fanned over her skin and she looked away defiantly. The woman speaking to Jyn and Cassian finally walked away. Jyn prattled on about how she knew the stranger and Rey pretended to listen. Ben removed his arm from Rey's shoulder and held her hand underneath the table, instead.

"So, Rey, how do you think it's working with Boba?" Cassian asked, his dark eyes wide and curious. "It seems like you've got a good connection."

Ben looked at Rey as she cleared her throat. His hand left her hand and touched her thigh. How the hell was she supposed to create sentences when his large hand was inching to her inner thigh? "Um, well, he's... he's lovely."

Ben wouldn't let his eyes leave her. Jyn and Cassian waited for Rey to expand but she could only hear her heartbeat ringing in her ears.

"He gives himself emotionally very easily. So I don't have to um, do much work." Rey took a deep breath. "So, yes, he's lovely to work with."

Ben's hand lifted her skirt and she felt his finger tip touch her womanhood. Her entire body buzzed to life and she ran her fingers through her hair to distract herself. "Yeah, he's a lovely guy for sure. His voice isn't the strongest, would you agree?" Jyn asked.

Rey prayed for them to stop asking her questions. Her boyfriends hand was rubbing between her thighs and that's all she could think of. They did stuff like this in the movies or books. She never in her wildest dreams thought it would be happening to her. The thrill of him touching her so intimately in public was extremely arousing. "I mean, Tony's voice was never meant to be the strongest so um... Yeah, his voice could be better."

"I agree. He's a good guy though, he deserves the part," Cassian said, nodding in agreement.

"So, Ben, what are you going to school for?" Jyn asked. Rey was beyond relieved to have the attention off her. She tried to push his hand away without drawing attention to them. She pulled out her phone, desperate to look somewhere else. Her stomach was swirling with his hand pressed against her beneath the table.

"I'm going to be a teacher, for music," Ben answered simply.

"So you have a love for music?" Jyn asked, her eyes excited. Rey was so angry that Ben was winning, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and dug her fingernails in his skin.

He didn't seem effected by Rey's attack at all and nodded in Jyn's direction. "Yes, I play the piano."

"Holy shit that is fucking awesome." Jyn smiled widely. "You will have to play for us sometime."

Ben nodded his head again but said nothing. He was too busy ruining Rey. She was squeezing her phone so tightly she feared it would break in half. He pressed against her harder and she felt his eyes on her.

Don't look, she thought. Don't you fucking look, Rey.

She looked at him despite her foul mouthed brain and it's commands. His eyes were dark and she couldn't look away for the life of her. There was a message in his eyes, something hidden that only she was able to see. They were bedroom eyes and they were giving Rey a warning.

Just wait until we get home.

Ret swallowed hard and almost cheered when the food arrived at their table. He removed his hand and she sighed with relief. She was frustrated and did not like being teased. Now she was pissed.

She took apart her sausage and pepper sandwich. Jyn and Cassian shared food with one another. Rey looked up at Ben. "You want some sausage?"

He met her eyes and shook his head.

She jammed her fork in the sausage and lifted it to her lips. Ben watched as she bit the sausage slowly. He chuckled, looking away. She thought she failed but his cheek was clenched tightly.

"Will you stop this fucking madness?" Ben whispered to Rey after a while of sausage teasing.

She bit her lip, his foul language making her lose some more composure. "So does that mean you cave?"

He clenched his jaw again. "Never."

Rey laughed and went back to her meal. Thankfully Jyn and Cassian didn't catch on to their little game. Or perhaps they did and hid it well. Rey wasn't very concerned. She was a little thankful for the distraction. She had (seemingly) survived her first double date and hadn't had a panic attack. Instead she tried to seduce her boyfriend the whole evening. The Rey at the beginning of the school year seemed to be a stranger now.

Dinner finally ended and Ben insisted on paying the entire meal. She enjoyed being out with Jyn and Cassian. They were lovely people. She would have enjoyed it more if she wasn't so wrapped up in winning the sexual game of thrones with Ben.

They all left together, promising to do it again sometime.

The car ride home was silent. Each was feeling seduced and frustrated. Rey wanted to win this little game, but she knew if he reached over to touch her, she would spread her legs without a second thought. She wondered if Ben would do the same if she reached over to him in the dark car. Ben drove the car so fast, she was amazed he didn't get pulled over. His frustration was present in ever turn of the wheel.

The house was dark and quiet. Rey took her shoes off and planned to run upstairs, take a shower and get into bed as quickly as possible. She didn't trust herself to wander around for long. She felt along the wall to turn on the light in the living room, the smooth surface against her palm.

A hand stopped her hand in it's motion. He spun her around and pushed her against the wall. She exhaled sharply, feeling his strength was extremely arousing. His hand grabbed her thigh roughly and lifted it to his hip. His lips found hers and quickly left to travel to the nape of her neck. She wanted to tell him to stop.

"Ben..." her voice trailed off. Why was it so hard to tell him no?

He bit her neck in reply and her hands grabbed his thick hair.

Say the words Rey, she thought, say them.

His free hand felt beneath her shirt, his hands warm and coarse. He grabbed her breast and squeezed it firmly. The sensation hit her toes.

'We have to wait', she should say. 'We can't...'

He lifted her legs off the ground and she wrapped them around his waist. It seemed that every inch of her skin begged him to keep going. His hands soothed some ache that was ever present within Rey. The more he touched, squeezed and caressed her, the less human she felt. There was something animalistic in sexual behavior. Everything suddenly because very present and instinctual. Such a feeling had a sense of danger, which only added to the thrill.

"Take me upstairs, Ben," she whispered breathlessly. Those were not the right words, Rey thought with annoyance. He did as she said, carried her up the stairs, all the while kissing her.

They became urgent and desperate. As if life and death hung in the balance. The warning of waiting until Saturday was completely silenced. Nothing could tame the animal growling inside Rey. They tore each other's clothes off, needing to feel bare skin on bare skin. It wasn't at all what Rey thought it would be like. She imagined herself talking nervously the entire time, making it awkward for both. It was trust that made it so different. It was effortless to give herself to him because she had faith in him. She knew he cared for her comfort and happiness.

So just like that, their passion and youth erupted.

Ben was respectful, as she knew he would be. He was gentle with her body, as difficult as it was for him. It was perfect and imperfect. Everything she expected and more.

 _Bliss._

-

 **Are you disappointed for the lack of details? I apologize. Each time I wrote it explicitly, it didn't feel right. Maybe it's because I wanted that time to be their secret, though this is completely fictional. Maybe I believe that explaining every detail ruins the passion and romance of it all.**

 **Of course I will not shy away from the realities of sex and honest relationships. There is stigma placed on how a woman is supposed to feel during the first time. They say it will hurt, that it is supposed to be unpleasant but we are to grin and bear it. It's a woman's duty, after all.**

 **But that is a falsehood. Woman can enjoy their first time having sex. What effects the pleasure is the situation. It's the trust, the love and the compassion between the two involved. Don't give yourself to someone until you are ready. You don't have to have a bad 'first time' experience.**

 **Be honest. Be open.**

 **3**


	21. Chapter 20

_8 years later_

Rey watched Ben as he slid his suit jacket back on. Now he was walking toward her and there was no escaping him. The terror of hearing his voice after so many years made her knees shake. She took the chance to examine him, looking for anything to distract her from her anxiety. He walked with more confidence now. When they were kids, it seemed like Ben never settled into his body. He wore his skin like clothes too big for him. Now he fits into his body and commands it with a like fashion. Rey heard whispers about him joining the army for some years. If that was true, she knew that would change him both physically and mentally

When they stood before each other, an awkward silence grew. They both seemed to be examining each other. Their eyes searched for clues of the person they once knew.

Ben took a deep breath finally and slid his hands in his pocket. "It's been a while."

Memories flooded Rey's mind without mercy. His voice was exactly the way she remembered it. Only now there was a hint of experience. In flashes, she could see him inside his car from the passenger seat, singing along to Pink Floyd. "How have you been?" she asked.

"I'm good. I was in the army for a while. I got discharged from a bullet in the leg a couple years ago."

"The army?" The rumors she heard were true and she should have known as much. Behind the experience of his eyes was something bitter only war could bring.

He shrugged and glanced around the room as he spoke. "After mom passed... I felt like I wanted to dedicate myself to what she loved so much."

Rey's stomach twisted. She didn't know Leia died. "Ben, I'm so sorry."

He held his hands up to stop her sympathy, shaking his head. "It's alright. How could you have known?"

Rey cleared her throat to swallow the sarcasm in his voice. She didn't know if he meant to hurt her by the comment but it stung her like a slap to the cheek.

"How are things for you?"

Did he truly care? "I'm good, playing in Funny Girl at the moment."

He nodded and she could feel his irritation. Her feelings began to mirror his.

"Ben, what are you doing here?" she finally asked.

Ben looked at her, his expression showed the familiar anger she had seen before. The army only increased the foulness of his temper. She could see it even though this is the first time she's seen him in years. "Poe invited me. He ran into me yesterday and told me to come."

Rey narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You ran into him?"

"I went to see your play," he said. "Poe was there and he saw me."

"So you saw my play?" Rey didn't know whether to be annoyed or flattered.

"Yeah." His answer was too simple for her. His answers were always too simple for her.

"Why?"

His exhale was sharp and he rolled his shoulders in frustration. "I don't know, I was curious."

Rey decided to drop the subject. She knew why he went to her play. He wanted to know if she was successful. He wanted some sort of closure after all the years apart. Did the anxious, naive girl actually make it in New York? Is she different or the same?

Was he different? Rey could see his physical maturity. She could feel the anger he had when they were kids.

What was even more perplexing was her emotions towards him as they stood there. She could see he had changed, as most do, but there was still an attraction to him. He was beautiful, he always was. She felt a pathetic truth ring inside her brain. Even after all the years, he was the best thing she ever had. She had searched for him in the arms of every lover. All failed to compare to what he gave her.

He took a step closer, demanding Rey's close attention. He hovered over her like a giant. Was he always so tall? "Can we go somewhere quiet?"

* * *

8 years ago...

Rey opened her eyes to the early morning sun. It took her a while to remember where she was, exactly. She looked to her left and saw Ben sleeping, his midnight hair hiding his eyes. She looked down and then remembered what had happened the night before. She lifted the blankets in a panic, searching for blood on her comforter. She expected a lot of blood, not quite like the horse head scene in the 'Godfather', but a microscopic version of that.

She tried not to wake Ben in her search. She lifted the seats until she found a small circle of blood. She felt a little queasy. The thought of blood didn't even occur to her last night. She was so drunk with lust all her anxieties about sex completely faded away.

She remembered the video she watched of how a woman's hymen breaks. The woman used a stocking and a vacuum hose. The thought made her sick then and even more so now.

She crept out of bed and Ben didn't move an inch. She stood and felt no pain. There was a little bit of aching. She felt a little different, like something was inside her still. It wasn't a bad feeling. It was different.

She took a shower, letting the hot water hit against her. She couldn't believe what had happened. She wasn't a virgin anymore. She started laughing. How was she supposed to feel? It was such a monumental step. Something that is such a big deal to everyone. She couldn't stop laughing, even when Ben walked into the bathroom. He was completely naked and staring at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, confused at her hysteria.

She laughed louder. "Yes, I'm okay."

He walked closer to the shower and opened the sliding door. Seeing his girlfriend in such a fit of giggles, he started to laugh as well.

"Ben, we had sex," she laughed.

"I know, I was there."

She waved him in the shower and kissed him under the hot water. She felt so happy she thought she would burst. He slapped some shampoo on her head and lathered her hair, massaging her scalp. She rubbed soap over his chest and noticed a purplish mark on his collar bone. Did she do that? Of course she did, who else would have? She rinsed out her hair and Ben put conditioner on the ends of her hair.

"So..." Ben began. "Did it hurt?"

She watched him as he lathered soap in his hand. "Did what hurt?"

He rolled his eyes with a smile. "You know what I mean, I want to know if I... if I hurt you."

His hands rubbed her shoulders and trailed down her arms. "It hurt but not like I thought it would."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it was like a pinch. Then it was just... I don't know. It was uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, I had a huge dick inside me for the first time."

Ben laughed, his cheeks turning a little red.

"It was uncomfortable but... I wanted you to keep going."

"Did you..." His eyes averted hers. He focused on his hands, lathering them with soap. The color red flamed behind his cheeks and neck.

"Are you asking me if I had an orgasm?"

Ben's neck turned red now, flushed with embarrassment. "I'm only curious. I read that girls usually don't the first time they have sex."

She felt a flutter of joy in her chest. He actually looked up how girls feel during their first time. It was because she scared the shit out of him.

"So did you?"

"I don't know."

He stared at her, disappointment taking over his face.

"That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. It happened so fast."

"Fuck." He couldn't meet her eyes. She wish she lied to him about it.

"Ben, please. We've never had sex before. All the research in the world won't help us like practice will."

"Practice?" He was smiling a little bit now.

She could see he was anxious to redeem himself. "Yes, we need lots and... lots of practice."

He kissed her then, his lips traveling all over her body as the hot water splashed on them. He only cared about her pleasure then and she was sure it was because last night hurt his pride. The shower ended with Rey moaning, clenching Ben's hair. She wanted those showers to go on forever

The theater downtown was lit up like Christmas. Ben parked the car two blocks away and they walked, arm in arm towards the glittering theater. The night was cool with a fresh smelling breeze whistling between them. The streets were full of well-dressed people making their way towards the theater.

She held onto Ben's arm, feeling so happy it was almost sinful. He didn't seem very enthusiastic about the ballet. He never attended one before. He was happy to be with her, though, and she felt special because of it. The stars were out and twinkling above them. Whatever planets aligned to give them such a perfect night, she would forever be grateful.

They had balcony seats that we're beside the aside, which Rey always preferred. They sat together, his firm hand was on hers. She enjoyed watching people find their seats. Each we're anxious and excited for the show to begin.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar face.

She gripped Ben's arm and he looked at her, concerned. "What?" he asked.

"Finn is here," she whispered. She felt if she said his name too loud, he would somehow hear her.

She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was seating at the balcony too but on the opposite side of the theater. He had a woman beside him that Rey had never seen before. She should have known he would be at the ballet. He was a theater boy too. He didn't seem to spot her yet, she was thankful. The woman beside him had short black hair and a round face. She was too far to notice anything else.

"Who is that he is with?" she whispered to Ben.

He shrugged in reply to her question. "Don't let it ruin the night. He doesn't even know we are here."

She ran through her memories, desperate to know if she ever mentioned this ballet to Finn. She wanted to invite him to attend with her father but couldn't remember if she actually did or not. The situation made her anxious and she did not know why.

"Will you relax? You've seen him at school every day, why is this different?"

"I don't know I have a bad feeling."

He squeezed her hand and smiled to reassure her. "Everything is alright."

The lights began to dim and everyone clapped as the musical director walked onto the stage. Rey found herself looking over to Finn more than she should. She wanted to know who that woman was and why she was with Finn.

The ballet began and Rey got distracted by the twirling women. Ben was being attentive and it was impossible to read if he was enjoying himself or not.

Rey watched Snow White, the only danger in white, appear on the stage. The music rose as they all watched her dance. She was delicate and innocent, anyone could see that. The prince was hiding and watching her dance. When they met, they seemed to flow into each other's dance without effort.

A hard tap on her shoulder pulled her eyes away from the performance. A man stood next to their seat. "Sir," he flashed his light in Ben's face, "may we speak with you for a moment?"

Rey's heart began to race but Ben stood up without making a scene. Rey stood to follow and for some reason, she looked over to where Finn was sitting. He was staring right at her. It was unmistakable. She knew then that her feeling of dread was not misplaced.

When they stepped out of the theater's doors, there were two policemen waiting for them."What is the meaning of this?" Rey asked, immediately defensive. She tried to pretend she was naive, but knew in her heart what the policemen were there for.

"Are you Ben Solo?" one of the policeman asked.

"Yes, that's me," Ben replied. He didn't seem scared or worried. He was hiding his emotions. Rey was showing enough emotion for both of them.

"You're charged with assault and battery. We have to place you under arrest."

When Rey saw the handcuffs, she panicked. "No, there has been some sort of mistake! You can't take him, please!"

"Ma'am, all due respect, but we have to take him in. You can come with us to the police station."Ben stood still as the policemen read him his rights, his jaw clenched. Rey was inches away from having a full fledged panic attack. "Ben, it's okay. I will come get you at the station. Don't worry."

He looked at her. "It's alright. Call my mother, make sure she doesn't tell my father."

Rey was going to cry but she didn't want Ben to see. She swallowed her tears away and nodded. Rey knew she would never forget watching the police escort him out of the theater. It was a perfect night. It was their perfect night. She knew Finn did it that very night on purpose. She cried her eyes out as she walked towards the car. She would get her tears out of the way and then she would be strong.

She called Leia as she drove. Ben's mother was a soldier still. Nothing made her emotional. She was completely rational and told Rey she would meet her at the station. Rey never drove so fast in all her life. She wondered what Ben was doing in the backseat of the police car. She knew his anger. The last thing that needed to happen was for Ben to hit someone else.

When she arrived to the station, Leia was already there. Rey hugged her and Leia reassured her that everything was alright.

"It was Finn, he was at the ballet. He did it on purpose."

Leia nodded. She knew the entire situation and kept everything hidden from Han. "There is nothing we can do to change what happened. Now we need to go inside and see if we can get him out."

Rey took a deep breath and Leia's smile was weak. There was worry in her eyes, but she didn't let that stop her from being strong. Rey wanted to be like her and upset that she wasn't. They waited twenty minutes for someone to tell them what was going on. Rey paced the lobby floor without let up as Leia sat in a chair with incredible patience.

"Mrs. Solo?" A name called.

They both looked up and an officer was holding a clipboard in a doorway. He had hair as white as snow and many wrinkles on his face. "Yes, that is me." Leia answered.

He motioned them to follow him. He led them into an office. It was exactly what you would think an office would look like at a police station. It was brown, ugly and small. The inside reeked of cigarettes and who knows what else.

He offered them to sit down and sat his overweight body behind the mahogany desk. He lifted a pair of glasses off his desk and put them on his face. He looked down at a paper in his hand. "My name is Officer Palpatine, are you the boys mother?" He asked Leia.

She nodded. "Yes I am."

He cleared his throat, a sound that repulsed Rey with every fiber in her body. She was so angry towards this man and didn't know why. "Okay, well, he assaulted a kid and broke his nose, ruptured his eardrum and broke a rib."

Rey swallowed hard. She didn't realize how hurt Finn was from the fight. The only visible thing hurt to her was a broken nose.

"With his history of assault, the judge wants him to stay here for at least two days until the hearing. The kid who is pressing charges, Finn Trooper, is suing him for the damage."

Leia took a deep breath. "Tell me the best thing to do here. I do not want my son in jail. Is there bail?"

The man flipped through some more papers. "The bail is $1,000 but you can't pay it until tomorrow. Here are some papers about the incident report. We are going to talk to him about what happened. In those papers are the court date and what time you will need to arrive."

"Can we speak to him?" Rey asked and the officer looked at her. He seemed to forget she was even there.

"No but he will get a phone call later."

Leia heaved a heavy sigh. "If there is nothing else you can do, I guess we will see you tomorrow. Thanks, officer."

Rey walked out of the station, furious. Now that the sadness had faded away, she was only left with anger towards Finn. She knew he was still angry, but did not expect him to press charges. After all, it was him who got Rey so upset. Ben was protecting her.

"Relax, Rey. There is nothing we can do about it right now. Whatever you do, do _not_ confront Finn."

Rey threw her hands in the air with frustration. "How can I stay calm?" Rey's voice lowered as anger boiled her blood. "What a jealous little cunt," she mumbled under her breath.

Leia stood and let Rey continued to curse under her breath. Even though the night air was cold and it was getting late, she didn't interrupt Rey.

"I could kill him. I could go over to his house and strangle him. Now Ben has to stay in jail all night. He's alone and you know as well as I, that he's pissed. He must be fuming."

"The best thing we can do is be here to get him tomorrow."

"It's my fault he is in there!" Rey yelled, pointing her finger against her own chest. "If I hadn't fought with Finn in the first place, this wouldn't have happened. Ben was trying to protect me."

Leia crossed her arms, like a general standing before her soldier. "You can't blame yourself for the past. It's done. It's over with. My son is a hot-headed, stubborn fool. He is in that cell because he couldn't control his anger."

Rey took a deep breath, trying to push the anxiety and anger away from her chest. "What am I going to do about Finn?"

Leia thought for a moment and asked a simple question. "What does your heart tell you to do?"

"Punch him in his face."

Leia laughed. "Naturally. Now what does your brain say?"

"It tells me..." Rey rolled her eyes, not wanting to answer with truth. "I should think about how Finn is acting out of anger, like I want to right now."

Leia nodded and walked closer to Rey, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Which do you think you should listen to?"

This made Rey smile and she was grateful for Leia being there.

How could she sleep knowing Ben was in jail? How could she sleep knowing that Finn is sleeping in peace? The thought made her skin crawl. Still, she needed to be strong like Leia told her to. She would be there when Ben got out. She would always be there for him.

* * *

Sorry for how wack the police scene it. I don't know what the fuck happens during an arrest haha. So I kind of guessed. How do you like Palpatine being an obese cop ahahahah

I know this is all a bit cliche and self indulgent twaddle, but I'm a drama queen what can I say


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